Tag: <span>Hello Google</span>

Quick house sale update: We had a viewer and they liked the house. They are waiting on receiving offers on their place though, but still, progress! Exciting! And other exclamation mark worthy statements!!

One thing I’ve been starting to do over the past few months is get out more. Meet up with people, even just for a coffee or a drink, or just spending time wandering about Glasgow meeting random people. People like Svetlana.

But I’m not going to talk about Svetlana (don’t worry I’ll introduce her to you all soon*).

I’m a pretty confident guy and share the ability to talk to anyone with my sister, although admittedly I can’t quite match her words-a-second ratio (I can only presume she’s mastered circular breathing as she can talk for minutes WITHOUT ONCE DRAWING BREATH!), so I’m quite happy sitting in a bar on my own or chatting to shop keepers and the like.

It feels good to be out and about in the city, and I can’t wait to move into it (or at least to the edges of it) and whilst I know there are drawbacks, it’ll be good to at least feel a part of something.

Clubs will be next, as in joining some, not battering baby seals to death. I’ve a couple in mind which should keep me out of trouble, add in joining a local gym and I’ll need to remember to leave sometime for just chilling out and reading books.

Speaking of which, have you ordered a copy of Dance Your Way To Psychic Sex yet? It’s avery limited print run of an excellent book, well worth the money! I’d also happily recommend Sex and Bowls and Rock and Roll which WILL make you laugh, guaranteed!** I’m reading it at the moment and have been asked to stop laughing so much!

And yes, it is a COMPLETE COINCIDENCE that both books have the word SEX in the title (Hello Google!).

* she’s not a person

** not really but it really will make you chuckle!


The miniblog is taking a bit of a hit today as I can’t be bothered thinking about things long enough to post about them.

Blue-jacking is fun, especially in an office. Although I’m a bit disappointed at the lack of devices I can ‘jack’.

I need to get my passport photo taken or I won’t have a passport for when we go to Spain in January.

I need to buy a new shirt for the wedding in November.

Tonight I’ll be ripping a Star Wars DVD to watch on my phone (Why? Because I can!)

Someone has been writing random pairs of words on the white boards at work; alarmingly debonair, dangerously coital, impressively boned, disappointingly premature, biblically smooth, beefy rhythms, instinctively moist, lyrically suave, reactively damp, chunky beets. (Hello Google!)

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(Does anyone else say the above phrase with the same emphasise as the Motorola ads: Hello Moto? Anyone? Just me then. Right you are).

Just found out I’m eighth for the Google Search: buy champagne rhubarb crowns.

That is all.

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I’ve been thrown out of my own home tonight. Usurped by a group of woman paying homage to the all powerful creator of “The Rabbit®”. Yes, Louise is hosting an Ann Summers party tonight. A room full of women, a table full of nibbles (low fat of course) and cupboard full of booze, not to mention the skimpy underwear, vibrators, bondage kits, and other ‘novelty’ items (penis shaped candles and the like).

What really annoys me (because unsurprisingly I’m not bothered about being ‘forced’ out to the pub) is the general attitude you get when you mention “Ann Summers”. Instantly, responsible adults either blush, humm and haww then change the subject, or go the other way and nudge-nudge,. wink-wink… what’s she buying for you then?

I mean we all have sex (or would like to) yes? It’s like eating, sleeping, pissing, we all do it, we just don’t talk about it because it’s.. *snicker* n a u g h t y. Good grief, when is this country going to grow up?

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