Somehow, although I’m not quite sure how, it’s been a year since your Mum and I spent all night in hospital waiting for you to arrive. One year since we met you, this tiny little boy who was chomping away on the towel he came wrapped in, one year since your first feed from your Mum, one year since your Mum and I (ok, mostly me!) cried happy tears that you were safe and sound, ten fingers, ten toes, and all the rest.
One whole year.
It’s wild really and, looking back it’s just a blur of wonderful memories. We are definitely in the ‘lucky’ category because we’ve had only a few really hard nights, only a couple of really bad moments and, on the whole, you’ve been a happy and chilled out wee guy who is, somehow, a year old already!
As you can tell I’m struggling to get my head around this. That said, it still amazes me that, about a year ago, we just walked out of the hospital with you and NO-ONE checked what we were doing?!!!
Over the last few weeks you’ve definitely gone from being a baby, to being a boy, it’s hard to put my finger on why it feels that way but given you’re almost walking and are starting to make more and more different sounds when you chat, perhaps we can start to see you as a toddler?
Watching you grow, from this tiny wriggle who I could fit along the length of my forearm to this inquisitive, cheeky, fun little guy who I will always lift up for a cuddle when he asks (no matter how heavy you get, ohhh my back!) has been an absolute treat. All my troubles melt away when you are around and I could happily sit and watch you as you sit and play with your toys, so content, lost in your own world as you explore how things work.
Every parent is the same, no doubt, but your Mum and I always share a look that is part amazement and part proud-parent whenever you do something new, the first time you rolled over, the first time you crawled, the first time you clapped, the list will grow but our happiness at your progress won’t every wane.
Neither will our love for you, which is so complete it’s a little scary. You mean the absolute world to me, which makes the few times you’ve been ill and crying inconsolably all the harder to get through, but we do, with a smile and a few cuddles.
There are so many memories of this past year I want to cling on to, the first time you fell asleep on me, that first laugh, all the evenings being the one to put you to sleep at night, the night we had just you and me and what a trooper you were, it’s been a joy to be around for all these things (thank goodness I’m still working at home full-time) and I know there are more milestones on the horizon.
That very first morning when the nurse handed me this tiny swaddled bundle I made you a promise, and I am so happy I’ve been able to keep it, every single day.
I feel so very lucky to be your Dad.
Love you, Dad. x