Month: <span>June 2020</span>

Work is busy, which is good. I invested in a stand/sit desk and spend most of my day standing which, oddly, seems to keep me focused and productive.

Outside of Work I have a few other things going on AKA “small w work”; I’m finishing a rebuild of a large website which should go live next week. After that, and the usual immediate tweaks and corrections that will ensue after any project go-live, I will shift my focus to the website I’m building for a wonderful small Glasgow (soap) company. And after THAT I’ll shift my focus to another local companies website. Support local and all that. More on those later.

I’m also just coming off a crap week health-wise as I managed to tweak my back and it’s only been the last few days that it feels like I’m getting back to normal (with a sneaky little migraine yesterday too). More stretching needed I think, but not being in pain does mean I can get back out for walks with the dogs and out on my bike.

Away from work, and my new found passion for Sudoku, I’m still reading and acting upon a lot of thoughts and suggestions raised over the past few weeks as Black Lives Matter rightly still resonates across social media. Some of my learnings are echoed in the articles I’ve read (and shared on the column on the right), and some of those are for my own consumption. I’m widening my sources, changing who I follow, and learning as much as I can. It will be a long battle.

Beyond that I know life will be different for me in the coming weeks, month, and years. Parts of this I already knew and is in the future Becca and I have planned, parts of this I’m still learning about, and parts of it I’m still figuring out.

At best I hope to be more mindful of my place in the world, what I consume and where it comes from, how my actions impact others, and how it all impacts me.

It’s part of the reason I’ve not been on social media all that much these last few weeks. It’s not about avoiding what is being posted there, but more about giving myself the distance to lessen the impact and find what I really value. I’m not starting over, nor stripping back, just making sure the time I spend there is positive and worthwhile.

And fundamentally it’s about me finding ways to love myself more as that’s where this all has to start. Maybe 2020 will be the year. It definitely feels that way.

Image credit: https://www.instagram.com/p/CA_CXcBp7Rg/

Life

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It’s overwhelming

It’s overwhelming because I’m white

It’s overwhelming watching all these images all the brutality and hatred watching a man kneel on another mans neck until he dies he can’t breathe

It’s overwhelming because I haven’t experienced it first hand

It’s overwhelming because there are so many other forms of hatred to fight but I know that this is the time for this fight

It’s overwhelming because we can’t stop, I can’t drop out, I need to be part of the solution

It’s overwhelming because it’s evolving everyday

It’s overwhelming because traditional media and those that control it are pushing it away using tried and trusted methods to keep their white agenda foremost in the minds of the masses

It’s overwhelming because of the years of systemic conditioning and fascist rhetoric that seems part of our every day now; my privilege easily hides this from my eyes

It’s overwhelming because I feel powerless

It’s overwhelming because my privilege is allowing me to learn about this through reading not by experience

It’s overwhelming because my feelings of being overwhelmed are a privilege that black lives don’t get too choose

I am overwhelmed

But I am working on it

Resources

There is much more to say, so much more to do, but this is where I’m starting. Pushing aside those overwhelming feelings, pushing aside my own guilt at not doing anything before now.

Black Lives Matter.

Life

On the 2nd of June, 1999, I wrote about Sunglasses.

Once I’d written it I opened an HTML page template I had created by hand, pasted the text in, formatted it using the few HTML tags I had available, updated all the site links to include the new post (I had a sidebar back then too), and then I manually uploaded the new page, and all the other pages I had to update, via FTP to my website.

The content hasn’t really improved since then, but the publishing mechanisms sure have.

As I’ve written before, it started as a fascination, a simple way to publish my own little thoughts for the world to see. Given that the world wasn’t all that big – in internet terms – at that time it wasn’t such a big deal and, weirdly, it still isn’t.

I don’t get that many people reading what I write, I never really has, not even during the pre-Twitter boom years when I was the first of a wave of UK bloggers who followed on from the trend-setters in the US. We were few but we were mighty.

And I’m still here, writing nonsense.

And deep down I think I always will be. If for no other reason than it allows me to reflect on my life and how it has changed over that time, and to wonder how it will change in the future.

Here’s to another 21 years? Here’s hoping.

Blogging Life

And lo, it was June and the sun was shining and, all of a sudden, just as the world seemed to be slowly getting itself back on track, America exploded.

Everything else seems somewhat removed from the reality we are living in yet we must continue. And yes, I have more words, thoughts, and emotions about all of this. Soon.

Watched

Not much new this month, mostly stuck to old favourites and easy watches.

  • Duel – Spielbergs first movie (originally shot for TV) which, while dated, is just wonderfully on edge and eery the entire time.
  • Tales from the Loop – Glorious slow sci-fi set in an everyday town in middle America. Based on art sketches, it’s moving, compelling, beautiful shot. If you liked Arrival, give this a watch.
  • Modern Family – our current go to for post dinner easy TV. Nicely silly, and oddly moving at times.

Read

Listened

  • Radio 2 or one of my many Spotify playlists. It seems I don’t have the headspace for new music right now (I’ve tried).

Wrote

My Favourite Photo(s)

With lockdown measures eased in Scotland, we got up early on the first day we were allowed and took the dogs somewhere ‘different’! Having been limited to walking them in our local neighbourhoods, I think they enjoyed being out in nature again almost as much as we did.


Life

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