Month: May 2001

Conversations

Life is a funny old thing, hell you don’t need me to tell you that. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything down, committed it to a storable electronic format, not really sure why I am, but just know that I need to.

It’s funny how a few things can jog the memory, a conversation here, a bit of information there, and you are soon comparing and analysing it, pulling it to pieces, reliving the experiences as best you can, even if you don’t want to.

Now this all makes me seem like I am craving martyrdom or suchlike. I prefer to think of it as an exercise in self-awareness, and ability to…aww crap who am I kidding.

I write this stuff prompted by life events. Sounds grandiose doesn’t it, but a conversation can be a life event. Recognising it as such is usually the difficult bit. However I am a great believer, as has been drummed into me, in talking, getting things off your chest. So conversation is crucial, be it about minor, silly things, to major life events. It all comes out in a conversation.

Conversation brings people together, even if the conversation is not prompted or lead by one person, the sharing of thoughts and ideas can be a revelation, and lightening of the load, or at least a sharing of the burden. Friendships and relationships flourish through conversation. Honesty is a lonely place, sharing it with someone, sometimes with anyone, makes it bearable – why do you think you get a lonely persons life story in one conversation? By including you in their space, the loneliness is eased.

The reverse of this is the pleasure some people, myself included, find in seclusion. Peace and tranquility are becoming harder and harder to find in today’s busy world, but it becomes a must. Seeking out loneliness to face the truth, confronting yourself with honesty. Before you can talk to others, you must talk to yourself. It doesn’t always work that way of course, but again, you don’t need me to tell you that.

Weekender

Relaxed, calm, sunburnt, and quite possible still drunk/hungover…

Me and few thousand others will be thinking back to the weekend already, the glorious sunshine, the lumps of carbon cooking on the BBQ, the ice cold beer, the smell of aftersun. All that and it’s only May.

This glorious weekend was tempered only by the installation of my new Microsoft Intellimouse Explorer (one of the new ‘ball-less’ mice). I hate having a clunky mouse, leaping randomly from pixel to pixel instead of following the smooth arc my hand is painting on my mousemat. This was the beginning of a new calm me (as prompted by someone else, she knows who she is) and I would no longer curse my mouse when it got ‘stuck’ a pixel away from the one I wanted to be on. It was ‘Plug & Play’ compatible, so I plugged it in and waited…. then there it was – BLUE SCREEN!!! Ehh? what? it’s a mouse!!… Re-boot in Safe Mode- BLUE SCREEN. Last known good configuration – BLUE SCREEN… what the heck?!

So that’s been the story of my day, reinstalling Windows 2000, and all my software (it failed to repair, and even on reinstall failed to pick up my old user account). Bahh… still the sun has crept back out… Woo Hoo!

Greener Grass

Sun is shining (weather is sweet), makes you wanna move your dancin’ feet!

Was musing to a friend that since I returned from San Francisco, I’m questioning why I would want to stay in Scotland. We had things MUCH better when we stayed down south (financially, socially, weatherly) but why limit it to England. America, Australia, New Zealand, Canada (uhhh except for all that snow….). As I’ve stated to others I’m going hang here for a couple of months until things pan out, but the trouble is the new job information is so accessible, and even something basic like a salary comparison is easy… depressing but easy. Still it’s not just about the money. Right? …RIGHT???!!

Next redesign started last night, got the square sum of nothing done, but did manage to get a couple of scripts working (hey I’ve only been working on them for about 2 years….)

Acquired

Well the cat’s out of the bag now, the company I work for has been acquired. What does this mean? Well it depends which level you look at it from. Business wise it should be good for ‘us’… yadda yadda yadda. Main change for me will be a different boss. Initial reaction to that piece of news wasn’t good, but that’s unfair to my new boss who I don’t know well enough to judge. There are a multitude of other thoughts fizzing round my head, not all positive, but I am growing increasingly apathetic to the situation. 4 weeks ago they told us. 4 weeks and that’s all the information we’ve had. Not good.

One of the main contributing factors (although it is a grey factor = difficult to measure) in most badly handled situations is lack of communication. Most people will take bad news a good deal easier if they are given answers to the questions that pop immediately into their heads, professionals call it change management, otherwise known as common sense or a perception of people’s needs. Anyway, I’m gonna stop before I say something that will get me into trouble.

San Francisco diary should be up soon… bet you can’t wait…