Month: August 2004

Do you ever feel a tad detached?

Quite frequently things go on that I never hear about. This is on all levels, from global events to work gossip. I AM the last to know. It doesn’t bother me on the whole, but it does puzzle me.

(I think) I’m an OK guy. I chat with people, ask after people and generally follow most rules of society. Yet still I never really break across THAT line, never fully feel that I’ve made it into the inner sanctum of knowledge afforded to those “in the know”.

I also know that this is complete tosh and that everyone feels like this to a degree and most of what I THINK I don’t know is actually being projected by me.

So, how many of you knew that the Barcelona Forum is underway? Better still, how many of you know what the Barcelona Forum aims to achieve?

No, I didn’t know either.

So a friend/work colleague is doing his MBA. Part of it requires a look at corporate culture. He sent round a short questionnaire to some people, including me, and we got together today to discuss it.

I was quite amazed, if I’m honest, that we all said similar things, and after about 30 minutes we all started to broaden our view as well. By the end of it we were even admitting some of the guilt for low morale, bad communication etc etc (and rightly so of course).

I’ve been told that once a company gets to a certain size it loses that ‘team’ feel. As the size of our company has fluctuated around small to ‘mid’ sized over the past couple of years, the company culture that has evolved is a strange one. One of the main problems stems from the fact that the culture is similar to a large corporation despite the fact the Glasgow office (HQ) only houses around 40 staff.

Mind you, I’m sure my co-workers are sick of me harping on about how good the corporate culture was at Dr.Solomons. Still managed to have a small company feel, until those bastards McAfee paid £625million to rip it’s heart out.

Anyway, I’m wondering if the discussions we had today will have an effect on the people involved. Not directly, as the main focus was as source info for an MBA and won’t be circulated round the company, but if it has caused the people involved to pause and re-consider their own input and focus. It did for me.

Right, enough of this corporate nonsense (Lyle does it SOOOOO much better).

Off to bed. Changes are afoot!

Well just about survived the weekend. Saturday was a sad farewell to Laura, before rushing from her leaving party – where most people from work turned up between 9-9.30pm, I was sure it said it started at 8! – to head to Louise’s cousins for a family night with my in-laws as the star guests.. or whatever excuse we used this time.

I should’ve known better.

I had plans for Sunday, but they didn’t include drinking until 4am. Still, we had a nice Sunday lunch with my family before nipping round the rest of the Dumbarton based brethren then heading home with the sole aim of lying on the sofa and watching whatever the Olympics dictated. I managed THAT bit.

Of course now, despite having been tired all day, I can’t get to sleep. According to my body clock, ten past midnight is still early. Well it’ll give me time to do some research into the accuracy of The Da Vinci Code which I’m almost finished reading. Fact or fiction? Either way it’s a fascinating book.

Well done to all the medal winners at the Olympics. And a special mention to Matthew Pinsent, ya big cry baby.

Boiler fitted, control unit figured out but only after walking up at 6.15 this morning, sweaty and hot, and realising the heating was on!

Started tidying up, and we’ve decided on what we are going to do in the hole left in the wall.. ohh yeah, there were gonna be photos:

Big Ugly Gas Fire

Big Ugly Hole in Wall

Anyway, a brief trip to B&Q and IKEA last night (where we managed to escape having only spent about £20) and we are just about set. Well aside from what colour the new fireplace (piece?) will be.

More on this later, when I’ll chronicle my attempts at D.I.Y. Bet you can’t wait.

Anyway, better go finish tidying up, and get my shirt ironed for tonight – Louise is down performing bridesmaids duties, making favours, and I want to get the place done before she returns.

Well the new boiler installation is almost done. New radiator is in the spare room (office), new valves on all the radiators, hot water tank gone from back bedroom, back boiler and ghastly fireplace gone from living room.

Which has left a big hole in the wall.

Now, I should point out that I’m not the best D.I.Y. person, although generally is a confidence thing. Once I get into it I’m usually OK. However this will be the biggest job I’ll have done (I think) so I’m a bit apprehensive.

We’ve decided to use the idea of an inset gas fire, but without the gas fire bit. So it’ll be an inset, a thin, small surround and will probably be filled with candles. So I’ve been checking out things like flame retardant MDF and the like, and getting all excited about the thought of using my power tools again (hope they still work…).

My Dad will be drafted in to help, and it’ll probably be a one day job. Ohh and then there’s the decorating afterwards. I’m leaning towards a nice stone coloured finish (currently is a bit too magnolia – but that’s because it IS magnolia and it was all we could afford at the time, it was that or put up with pink walls…).

So tonight will probably involve a wander round B&Q to get some ideas, and possibly even a wander round IKEA as well. What a fun way to spend a Friday night..

Then on Saturday I’ve got two nights out. One to say cheerio to Laura how is jetting off to start a new life in Australia. Best of luck to her and her husband. I’ll spend a couple of hours there (Tiger, Tiger I think) then head down the road to Dumbarton for the ‘family’ night.

As my in-laws are only here for a couple more weeks, the cousins have decided to have a night in at their place. Always a good laugh, and I doubt we’ll get home much before sunrise.

And Sunday? Well nothing planned yet, probably more “fireplace” thoughts. But I’m thinking coffee and papers should about do it.

Note to self: MUST remember to take camera on Saturday night!

Let me preface this by stating that I’m not sleeping well at the moment, so my mood isn’t a mystery to me.

It’s like looking down a well that has no bottom, the light filtering down as far as it can before it too succumbs to the enclosing murky depths. Wondering how deep it goes, remembering the last time you were here, looking down.

You turn your head to find the source of light, suddenly you panic, realising that it too is far away, up through the funnel above. It’s energy struggling to breakout of the confines, everything else faded, dim, distant.

Your shouts are muffled, incomprehensible until they echo back to you. You listen to yourself and know then that you can control this, that it’s not a slope, the handholds are there above your head, you just need to reach up and start climbing.

I’ll stop there, as I reckon I’m dangling from a couple of those handholds.

It’s a funny thing though, and something I thought I’d gotten past, the way it all builds, creeping up on you so that you don’t notice, until the last minute, that you are standing on that ledge, peering out, trying to see.

Pah.

Anyone got any good jokes?