Nope. Even writing that title seems weird. I’m not ‘Dad’.
Not yet.
But soon and I guess I’m already starting to feel paternal, I guess this is common for most parents to be with a baby arriving in 2 months, I guess we all go through these same thoughts.
Hopes that the baby will be healthy, that we will be able to keep it safe and loved, and give it all the support and nurturing it needs to be comfortable with whoever they grow up to be.
Fears that something I do will have a negative impact somewhere along the line, and some understanding that that is going to happen to some degree.
As we approach the time when the baby is likely to start thinking about making an appearance, so we are finalising all the little things we need to do and consider. We’ve made most of the decisions we need to make, bought the things we will need (not as many as social media makes out by the way, don’t fall for it!), and the final pieces of prepping are falling into place.
We’ve completed a hypnobirthing course – highly recommended, it was informative, realistic, and definitely has us both thinking calmly about the birthing experience (thanks Katy!) – and have just started antenatal classes which are, thankfully, backing up a lot of what Katy talked us through. We feel as prepared as we can be.
I know life will change.
I know I will cry when I meet our child for the first time.
I know I will change.
And the single word that springs to mind when anyone asks how I’m feeling about becoming a Dad is excited.
I’m not scared or anxious, and whilst there are always the ‘what ifs’ we know we now have enough knowledge to make informed decisions as and when needed, decisions that will hopefully make the birthing process calm and safe for everyone involved.
I’ve learned a LOT these past few months, and will learn more. Not just about birth, or the early days of parenting, but about myself. I’m realising what kind of Dad I will be, as well as the Dad I want to be. I’m understanding where I may fall short and where I need to be mindful of my own actions, as much as where I feel comfortable and secure in what type of parents we want to be. I will make mistakes. I will learn.
As simple as it sounds, as I already know that the world we are bringing this baby into is so full of negative messages, that I will strive to instil a sense of positivity and wonder in our child and, if nothing else, I know I will do every single thing I can to make sure they feel loved, supported and safe.
I/we are also keen to remember who we are during all of this, keen to retain our own sense of identity. I will continue to find time to meditate, to get out on my bike, to go to the gym, to see friends, just as I will support Becca going for a spot of wild swimming, and getting back out on her bike, back to her gym. We work well as a team already.
So I won’t just be ‘Dad’, I will be the ‘me’ I have been learning to be all these years, I just have a little more learning to do, and that will come from our child.
And I can’t wait.
