To look for a needle in a hay bundle
Take the occasion for the hairs.
In the country of blinds, the one eyed man are kings.

This 1883 book is without question the worst phrasebook ever written. The writer, Pedro Carolino, who was Portuguese, did not particularly speak English, nor did he have a Portuguese-English dictionary available. Instead, he worked with a French-English phrasebook and a Portuguese-French dictionary. The results, I’m sure you’ll agree, are staggering.

English as She is Spoke