Some heard before, some new, all far too clever to have originated with me…
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding a stupid person that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
Decaflon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an a**hole.