Tag: <span>Premier League</span>

Finally, it’s here!

Now, before I start, I’ll point anyone not interested in this to head over to ScaryDuck’s place.

The World Cup kicks off today and with that in mind I thought it would be good to make sure we are all aligned and in agreement with some basic rules during this busy period.

So, and this is specifically for the (non-footballing) ladies, may I suggest you read, digest and ensure you understand the following rules:

Rule 1: From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

Rule 2: During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

Rule 3: If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won’t have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

Rule 4: During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor. It. Will. Not. Happen.

Rule 5: It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

Rule 6: Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, its only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break up or divorce.

Rule 7: You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.

Rule 8: The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

Rule 9: Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

Rule 10: But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash. Yes “we”. You will be taken along only to make sure HIS partner is obeying these rules.

Rule 11: The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this… why don’t you change the channel to something we can both watch??” as the reply will be: “Refer to Rule #2 of the list”.

Rule 12: And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

All clear? Good.

Ohh and don’t blame me, I got this from him.


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Bit blurry today, helped neither by the clocks changing nor the two bottles of wine last night. Still a quiet day planned, helped largely by the fact that our phoneline is dead (engineer out on Monday). So that leaves today free to… bugger.. do some work. Mind you, the wireless connection and the laptop mean I can do it from the comfort of the sofa (where this very post comes to you from) and have, currently, the Woman’s Premier League Cup Final on, although I’ll be switching over in about 30 secs for the Old Firm game, and probably watch Arsenal take apart Man Utd. later on.

Ohh and there are emails to deal with including two (well one was a comment) from friends of my parents, all prompted by my 1000 words entry, not to mention a hazy memory of agreeing to do a 12 mile walk for charity sometime in June. This falls nicely into place as just yesterday Louise and I were talking about doing more, getting fit, losing weight… all that stuff. For me this means exercise. This time last year I was playing football twice a week, the occasional game of basketball and even going to the gym now and again. Since breaking my foot late last year I’ve done precisely nothing to improve my fitness. Embarassingly I find myself out of breath just nipping up a flight of stairs. I’ve never been this unfit in my life and I’ve had enough.

I know all the ‘tricks’, take the stairs, get off the train one stop early, stop eating an entire pack of Jaffa cakes by yourself.. common sense stuff. I’ve considered Yoga (my flexibility is awful), jogging (not until I lose some weight), and will start by doing situps, pressups, and all that stuff you used to do at school. What I need is a cheap (free) home based exercise routine. Suggestions?

(Yes, I know I said I’d stop asking for suggestions but what can I say, I’ve been so impressed with your responses recently I thought I’d try with this – if nothing else it could be fun finding out just how fit us bloggers are… no?)

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