When plans change

I’ve been goal driven most of my adult life, it’s part of who I am and over the last few years I’ve been slowly changing my approach to it so I’m confident that these days it’s a healthy thing, not a potentially self-sabotaging mechanism.

Which is just as well as, somewhat predictably, my goals for this year are slowly shifting. This is mostly due to injury, a little to do with bring up a 7 month old boy, and a lot to do with being sensible and not letting myself getting too downhearted when things don’t go to plan.

For example, this weekend we are supposed to be heading up to Pitlochry so I can take part in a cycle sportive, one I completed last year, but I’ve decided not to go. I’ve not been able to get much training done due to issues with both feet; I had podiatrist visit on Thursday to cut out some of whatever is stuck in my left foot (and has been for over a year) and have another podiatrist appointment next month to see if I do have Morton’s Neuroma in my right foot.

On top of that, we are working Jack into a sleep schedule, Becca is back to work so we are adjusting things around that too, and truth be told I’ve just not had the energy or mojo to get out on my bike enough. And when I have gone out recently I’ve hit the 1hr mark and started to flag. Amazing how quickly your fitness disappears!

So the sensible thing is to drop out of the sportive this weekend. And I’m happy to do so, which is a nice change from where my head may have gone in the past where I would’ve looked at the reasons I’m not doing it as excuses or some sort of weakness, whereas it’s more just down to circumstance.

I set out this year with the vague notion of getting my fitness up to the 100km cycle mark but given it’s May already then that’s unlikely to happen, never say never of course, but instead of beating myself up for failing to meet a goal I’m simply adjusting and focussing on enjoy life. Enjoying taking long walks with my son in his pram, enjoying exploring Bothwell with our dogs, and enjoying when I can get out on my bike.

I do have more sportives booked, but the more I think about them, the more I realise that if I don’t do these there’s no harm to me. I can always try them another time.

5th June – Tour of Mull – 43 miles/70km
17th July – Helensburgh – 50 miles/ 80km – provisional (still to book)
21st Aug – Round Strathaven – 50 miles/80km
4th September – Tour o the Borders – 55 miles/88km

Perhaps it’s a good thing that I’ve not done these sportives before, perhaps that’s why when I decided not to take on Etape Caledonia this weekend I was more relieved than I realised. I’ve done it before, I set a good time for it and I know myself well enough to realise I’d have done it and felt disappointed if I didn’t beat that time. After all, we are always supposed to improve, right?!

I feel good about this decision, having mulled it over for most of the day and, as Becca has pointed out, we’ve already had a helluva few months. So, I might participate in the ones to come, or I might not, but I’m feeling good about making it a ‘wait and see’ decision, removing the pressure on myself to hit training goals, removing the fear of failure, and letting me get back to enjoying just going out on my bike.

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