Month: July 2015

This time last year

I was all prepared, the uniform was laid out ready for the 6am start, I had read through the guidelines in the pack we were given and was mostly pottering about my flat until the opening ceremony started.

The Commonwealth Games came to Glasgow last year, and I look back on my involvement with pride, happiness and a nice sense of nostalgic glee. It was a whirlwind week the memories of which will remain with me for a long long time.

I still wear the jacket we were given and occasionally get a knowing smile as I pass someone in the street.

This past week the World Swimming championships returned to Glasgow to the venue I attended, alas I wasn’t selected as a volunteer this time but here and there I see requests for help for various events and find myself pondering them (most recently this one).

It was a great time to be in Glasgow, the city was buzzing with so many tourists and supporting events, and it will live long in my memory.

July 23, 2015

The AMAZING Apple Watch

There is no doubt the Apple Watch™ is a lifestyle changing piece of technology.

It is a quintessentially Apple product that soon makes you forget it’s pulsing with electrons, a tiny technological marvel strapped to your wrist, and almost immediately it becomes an integral part of your life, intrinsic and woven into your everyday. Without it you are less, with it everything is more.

Why didn’t they say all this in the adverts!

When I ordered my Apple Watch™ I hadn’t fully appreciated the impact it might make but, as I’d held back from ordering one as soon as it was launched, I’ve had the time to read a lot of reviews driven by actual day to day usage. Reading those I knew that it would enrich my life in oh so many more ways than even Apple seem to have realised.

At first it was subtle.

I was more active (how quickly you get used to just standing up regardless of where you are or what you are doing, I was talking to more people, and widening my social circle, even including some people I didn’t even know – it’s a revelation, an enlightenment, to talk to perfect strangers and feel a connection with them, something all too lacking in our modern lives, glued to our phone screens as we are, as I was, but no longer.

Now I stride confidently with my head held high, part of this beautiful world that we inhabit. I feel calmer, more connected to the world. As I walk people look, some stare, some ask some questions.

It’s nice to feel popular, I’m wary it’s a temporary thing but no, it can’t be, not whilst I have my Apple Watch™ strapped to my wrist! It will never wane or fade, this is my new life, it’s all so exciting! Each day I wonder who will notice it, who I’ll talk to, who I’ll connect with on that deeper emotional level that eschews the technology itself.

Sometimes, of course, those connections are fleeting, a whispered nudge to a friend as they point at my wrist, or even just “Apple Watch™ wanker” murmured in passing. I can’t believe it, I am being noticed!! THIS is the attention I crave and deep down I’ll admit it’s one of the real reasons I wanted to get an Apple Watch™.

And for me this is the crux, this is the reason Apple will continue to rise and rise. It’s not just a company that makes products, it creates life-affirming objects that enhance everything around you, raising those who partake, and fully buy-in to living life the way Apple know it should be lived, to new heights of being, new realms of spirituality.

I still have riches to come as well, as yet I haven’t actually managed to find someone else with an Apple Watch™ but when I do, I’ll be drawing crude squiggles (haha! a penis, that will be funny!), or simply sharing my heartbeat which isn’t creepy because we’d both agree that it had no intent it was purely because the technology would allow us.

It may notify me of when I receive one of my 4 emails a day, or the occasional text from those lovely PPI people (I’ve text them back a few times, but they never respond. I’ll keep trying), and I think it also tells the time, but the biggest achievement Apple Watch™ has had is in transforming my life.

I might save up and get a new strap next as, whilst I love the sleek black that I bought, I don’t seem to be making as many connections with new friends as I have been recently, a bright green strap should help.

I wonder if I can get one with LEDs in it, maybe flashing ones in the shape of arrows pointing to this wonderful new part of me.

Yes, that’s right, it’s part of me. It’s not just a watch (sorry, not just an Apple Watch™).

I have to admit I’m glad it’s the summer, I hate to think what’ll happen when I have to start wearing jackets and jumpers again come Autumn. Maybe I’ll wear the Apple Watch™ over my clothes! Yes, I could start a new trend because everyone would notice it then!!

I love my Apple Watch™.

I should’ve written this post before now, I know, but life with my Apple Watch™ is a far more fulfilled and meaningful existence than I’d imagined.

Gosh, I wonder how this post will look on my Apple Watch™?!

July 20, 2015

Paddling downstream

This is infuriating.

I’m trying to write a post about how, recently, I’ve been reflecting on my approach to my life and how it’s been slowly changing over the past few years.

But I can’t seem to find a way to start it so I’ll just batter on…

Life is a journey.

(that was gonna be the opening line, what a middle-aged cliche!)

Thing is, that’s what I’m starting to realise more and more, that I have been on a journey without really realising it, I’ve been floating along, carried by the current but whilst I’ve gathered a little speed here and there, it’s only been the last couple of years I’ve started paddling.

Jesus. Listen to me.

I’ll cut to the chase, somewhere in my brain I have started to realise that I am less and less interested in STUFF AND THINGS and more and more focused on EXPERIENCES and PEOPLE.

I don’t buy as much STUFF as I used to.

I am loving being part of Yelp and going out to events, being around PEOPLE and having fun new EXPERIENCES.

I look around my flat and wonder what else I can remove, how did I end up with so much STUFF?

I still need to read this book.

I think I’m approaching the point where I’m ready to play this game.

It means getting things like my debt under control (so I can afford to EXPERIENCE more) and stripping back the THINGS in my life to only those that I need.

It feels a little bit like a cult or religion, and at that point my brain kicks in with the excuses born of years of commercialisation and ‘buying stuff is good’ advertising.

Perhaps my poly lifestyle is helping? Being poly challenges societal and cultural norms, it still catches me out sometimes (still feel a little bit of guilt when I ponder, maybe, if a casual partner is possible) but it has definitely opened my eyes to challenge other things about myself.

I’ve mentioned all of this before, removing negativity and noise, decluttering and simplifying where I can.

It’s just that now I’m starting to fully appreciate the fact that I’m on a journey and I think I know where it might be heading.

Hang on, there is a fork in the river coming up… hmmmm, left or right?

July 16, 2015

Hierarchies

Poly Means Many: There are many aspects of polyamory. Each month, the PMM bloggers will write about their views on one of them. Links to all posts can be found at www.polymeansmany.com.

Every month the Poly Means Many bloggers choose a topic to write about. Some months I find it easy, some months I find it more difficult. Whilst I’ve now identified as non-monogamous/poly for a couple of years now, I’m lucky that my relationships haven’t massively changed in that time.

When we started out exploring this lifestyle we eschewed the idea of hierarchies largely because they just felt wrong to us, it didn’t feel right to start out with a set of rules that could limit how things progressed in the future. From day one we’ve understood that this lifestyle allows our relationships to grow and morph into new things, and that means accepting they may also shrink or come to a natural end.

So, other than the element of time, we don’t have any agreed hierarchies in place in our set of relationships.

In practice, however, it’s not that easy. I think it’s human nature to look for structures and a way to understand something new and there is still one element which will, whether we realise it or not, give some guidance that forms the early parts of a multi-relationship dynamic; time.

It’s not something we can control; the facts are that Kirsty and I have been seeing each other for several years, whereas Clare and I, and Kirsty and Mark, have only recently passed the two year stage. For Clare and Mark, both entering new relationships that is something they’ve had to contend with and it’s natural to presume that the longer standing relationship holds more sway, weight and power.

Counteracting that requires a lot of clear communication that there isn’t a hierarchy at play and reassurance that each relationship holds the same weight as the other.

I know that some polyamorous and open relationships work within an agreed hierarchy, from what I’ve read it helps the people involved understand where they fit and allows for some relationship decisions to be made without involving each person (with clear communication around the decision of course).

For some people, the need for structures and clear rules around their relationships helps set and manage expectations, it can be helpful if there is a differing need within each set of relationships, and equally I have read that the primary/secondary style hierarchy offers the primary relationship some protection.

Equally I’ve read that the lifestyle I’ve chosen to be a part of being described as relationship anarchy but at that point we are veering into the deeper waters of the poly community to a place where each style, construct and format of relationship must have a label.

I’ve never been a big fan of labels, I’ve also never been a big fan of rules, even though I fully bought into the most accepted rule based relationship we know; monogamy and marriage.

Maybe I was lucky that during early chats about how we might approach being non-monogamous both my partner and I quickly dismissed the idea of a hierarchy. For me that allowed us the space for our other relationships to grow into whatever they needed to be, after all, how can you rule out falling in love with someone else?

Hierarchies may be right for you, and I know a lot of poly literature suggests it is something to look at but hopefully if you are open-minded enough to be looking at moving to a non-monogamous set of relationships, you’ll be open-minded enough to treat hierarchies as what they are, only one suggestion of how you could live your life.

July 6, 2015

Back from Somerset

It’s always a bit odd, returning home after spending 5 days trudging round fields, drinking cider and enjoying various forms of entertainment, the post festival blues are real.

My third time at Glastonbury and it continues to delight, amaze, annoy and bewilder all at the same time. I come away with real thoughts of changing my life, examining what I currently deem makes me happy – all these THINGS and OBJECTS, what do they give me? – and challenge myself to try and change, even a little. This, nicely, fits with the ongoing desire to simplify and minimise my life.

Entertainment wise, it was mostly music based this year, and a lot of walking and exploring, still didn’t find the hidden piano bar but did cover almost every single part of the site. Favourite performances were probably Nadine Shah, Mary J. Blige, and The Chemical Brothers. But a lot of other notable mentions – Furs, Gaz Coombes, Florence and the Machine, Pharrell…

Next time I’m determined to avoid the Pyramid and Other Stage as much as I can, but then I’d have missed Lionel Ritchie (biggest crowd of the weekend!), I still think it’s a good aim, there is so much to see and do.

And now back to reality which is devoid of cider, hills, and random conversations with strangers – this year we met Martin who was, it’s safe to say, completely off his face. Lovely bloke though.

A final highlight was a brief chat with one of the policemen who said he’d been working at the Festival for the past 20 years and it’s gone from being a nightmare to a pleasant, enjoyable experience.

Well done Glastonbury, maybe see you next year?

July 2, 2015