Things can only get better


Kitchen fitters turn up.

Kitchen fitters check the electrics.

Kitchen fitters say we’ll need to get them upgraded.

Kitchen fitters also say that the worktop for the sink area is wrong size, we have 600, should 700.

Kitchen fitters phone warehouse to order new worktop. Earliest it MIGHT be with us is in one week.

Surveyor should’ve checked all this! Louise and Gordon are annoyed.

Gordon will be writing a letter of complaint.

But work still needs done so…

Louise phones electricians.

Electrician comes, looks at job, agrees price and says he’ll turn up tomorrow.

Electrician also says we need to buy more fused switches, one per major appliance due to regulations introduced last year.

Louise and Gordon dash to B&Q to get more switches to match the ones they’ve already bought.

Today (so far):

Gordon went to bank before work to lift cash to pay electrician.

Electrician didn’t turn up.

Gordon can’t write long sentences.

Short sentences are the only way to stop him going ARSEHOLE FUCK BANDIT WANKERS!!!! over and over and over…


Ahem. Sorry.

Electrician can’t make it. Has rescheduled to next week.

And the worst thing? I’m on antibiotics I can’t even have a bloody drink!!!!

Written By

Long time blogger, Father of Jack, geek of many things, random photographer and writer of nonsense.

Doing my best to find a balance.

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Debster says:

Oh dear, it hasnt worked … I do sympathise.

Going well, then?

Would you like to borrow my



So does that mean you’re kitchenless/ kitchen-power-less ’til Monday?


They won’t start on the kitchen until the worktop is delivered and that won’t be until (AT THE EARLIEST) Friday coming.

So it may be a fortnight before we have a kitchen. At present we have a completely bare (to the floorboards and plaster) room.


Ah. Not at all good then.

Where did you order/buy the kitchen from?

Sounds like it might be worth talking to them and/or your insurance company – yeah, sure, you’ve wanted the work done etc. , but if it’s gone tits up through x company’s fuckups, they should a) compensate, and b) provide some cover while you have no cooking facilities.

Oh, and did you pay for the kitchen with a credit card? If so, get in touch with the credit-card people, as you have some rights through them, and they can a) withhold/retract payment and b) negotiate on your behalf.

Builders. Yes. I can only empathise. Nearly 2 years on and I still have nightmares…

Not a hope in hell a credit card company will be interested in this – it happens all the time (but Lyle is right in principle – at least in English law). Also, I’m unsure why he thinks your insurance company will be intersted (more likely *their* insurance company I’d say!?)

You didn’t pay for all the kitchen upfront, surely?
And, I would be looking for a *large* ‘goodwill’ payment for this amount of inconvenience. If all else fails there’s always the Power of Blog…

How can an electrician who provides the proper paerwork you now need ask to be paid in cash? The first thing HMRC will do if they audit him will be to cross-reference all his books.

I’ve had a double gin on your behalf.

I am SO glad it’s you and not me. We’re done dealing with the trades for a while.

Wanna come down and compare horror stories?

Ian's mum says:


My friend should have had a kitchen fitted 25th november…company took out the units and the floor was rotten…no floor for 3 weeks… insurance paid half… got it fixed… then it was Christmas … 2 weeks holiday for Magnet … kitchen fitted 3 weeks ago. They have had every microwave meal known to man. They are both over 65. Now that is a horror story.
PS I’ve had 2 large wines on your behalf..what are friend’s mums for?

We only paid a deposit they ain’t gettin a penny until compensation is arranged.

I’m drafting a letter tomorrow, to point out that all of this is because their surveyor didn’t do his job (as stated in the contract) and that we are without washing machine and cooker for the duration.

The electrician was a mistake, we were pleased that he said he’d do the work the next day, but the cash thing should’ve have flagged up with me, too much going on as I was back at work yesterday as well.

BW/Gordon, The reason I thought of insurance stuff was a similar thing to the credit-card people – get them on your side early, let them help in fighting the battles.

After all, it’s not Gordon’s fault that the as-yet-unnamed company were a bunch of c**ts and screwed things up.

And the credit-card company should still get involved – on the rare occasions I’ve had cause to do this kind of thing, they’ve got involved for sums far less, and on things like where Ticket-bloody-Master have sent the tickets to the wrong address, and then made out it was my fault for having moved.

So I’d say it’s def worth getting them involved early, assuming it was paid on a c/c at all.

Depending on the antibiotic, one shouldn’t do you any harm – there’s one which begins with “m” (Metrinozole or something)which makes you vomit immediately you drink alcohol, but I think it’s usually prescribed by dentists.

My GP told me the whole don’t drink on antibiotics because it stops them working is complete pap – apparently it’s simply if you drink a bucket on antibiotics, which only an idiot would do, you are more likely to be sick, meaning the drugs are tossed out of your system. I asked this question just the other week when I had the chest infection, so that’s hot off the medical presses.

I had a few glasses of red wine during the week while I was taking mine and came to no ill at all. In fact, having the wine helped me sleep, which was probably the biggest help of all – night after night of lying awake coughing is not good!

I feel your pain, just went through all that for the last 7 months getting the flat renovated. The kitchen STILL isn’t done.

Gordon, which company did you go with… I used to work for one of these showers of shits who foist kitchens on people….

If you used any sort of “point of sale” credit to pay for the kitchen, you will have lots of rights… worth investigating. The credit providing company are jointly liable for reparation.

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