Month: November 2006

Bankers

Remember that complaint letter I wrote to the bank? Well they had until we got back from holiday to respond, and.. um.. OK OK I kinda forgot about it a wee bit. However, I did remember on the way home from work last night and would have been on the phone as soon as I was in the door except that, lo and behold, a letter from the bank was sitting on the doormat waiting for me.

Certain that they were writing to beg me to keep my account with them, and that the manager would be presented on my doorstep to shine my shoes for the next month, I ripped open the envelope with no small amount of gusto, and yanked the letter from within.

Ohh.

Dear Mr. McLean,

it said. I paused, then remembered they meant me, not my Dad (every time!). I read on.

Thank you for your recent letter,

it said. Well you are quite welcome, thought I, before remembering that I was supposed to be being STERN, after all I had COMPLAINED. How very continental of me, don’t you think?

Sternly, I glare at the letter. I read on.

I was sorry to learn that you are unhappy with the service you have received.

Well that’s nic.. ohh no, no no no, you won’t get me like that, you can charm me, your false claims of sympathy hold no truck here!

I take a deep breath, and steel myself against their attempts to toy with my emotions, I read on.

We are keen to deal with your concerns and are looking into your compliant.

You are? Ohh how nic.. now wait a minute. Enough of this pandering and niceness, it just won’t do! I’m being STERN, remember, STERN. In capitalus! I read on.

You will receive our full response shortly.

Yours sincerely,

[Lady from the bank]

What? I read on. There is nothing left to read. The letter is finished.

Three weeks. Three bloody weeks and they are still “looking into it”? I made it quite clear, crystal like a mountain spring pool, that a specific member of staff failed me, the customer, and I outlined the steps I expected the bank to take. And I get THIS!!!

STERN boils over into RAGE and ANGER, I yank the phone from it’s cradle ready to project some WRATH along the wire to some poor unsuspecting call centre drone.

Alas I yank a little too hard and manage to pull both cable and socket from the wall. A new phone will need to be purchased.

It may be the first thing bought from my new bank account.

The Art of Leaving Comments

As bloggers (most of us) we know, or should know, that comments are generally seen as a method of conversing. So when I post something on this blog, anyone who wants to chip in with some advice, a story, or a continuation of the theme is free to do so (within the commenting guidelines of course). All good, right? And yes, I’m over-simplifying, but that’s the crux of the matter, no?

Personally, I generally try to only comment if I have something to say, a specific viewpoint on the topic, or have something constructive, helpful and within the spirit of the post to add. But sometimes, and this is more often than not, I find myself just wanting to say “Well said”.

Now, that’s not really adding to the ‘conversation’, is it? It’s not moving things along, so by my own self-imposed (if vague) rules I shouldn’t really add the comment. But that, in turn, goes directly against on aspect of blogging that I’m fond of quoting, it’s the whole “just getting it out there” thing the act of which is beneficial to a lot of people. Sometimes you just want to say something, and you aren’t that bothered if no-one comments, the mere act of writing the post, and publishing it for the world to see, is cathartic enough, comments are a bonus.

Admittedly, in those instances, you could just turn comments off but that’s far more hassle than it’s worth.

Once you have had a blog for a while, you’ll find you build different relationships with different readers. Obviously the people who comment are the first to get a reaction, most of the time. After that you may get a few emails from the occasional person now and again, and finally, and in my experience this is the least popular form of interaction, you even start to chat with them via instant message, at which point they are no longer “them” or even “a reader” but you have establishment a new acquaintance, a new buddy, a new contact.

It becomes obvious, then, that the value of a comment lies largely in the relationship between the writer and the reader but, whilst regular comments are always welcomed, don’t we all get a little tiny thrill-shiver when someone new comments on your blog?

Anyway, back to the matter in hand. If all you are adding to a comment thread is a simple “here, here!” or “well said!” (“you go girl!”, whatever…) then does it really warrant a comment? Wouldn’t another mechanism be useful? A checkbox or a separate “I agree” link which counts those who liked your post, but don’t really have much to add to it? Not only would it allow people a quick and easy way to register their preference about the post (hmmm would you need a “boo, rubbish, get off” link as well?) but it would give the writer one thing that is can be easily missed, if people don’t comment, how do you know if people are actually reading what you write?

Of course, none of us do this for the fame or the money, few of us will make it into print, let alone end up with a book deal (but I will suggest that those that have, have deserved it), but wouldn’t it be good to get just a little more feedback… validation… whatever.

Would YOU vote for this post?

The wind blows

Blimey, what a night. The lamppost outside is rattling back and forth, leaves are whipping round the garden and all manner of weird banging, clanging noises are making me wonder what state things will be in come morning.

Visited friends last night, and managed not to drink TOO much (I managed to win a couple of games of pool later on so can’t have been that bad) as I was out for a run this morning. Even then it was still a struggle, I’m just not a morning person I guess.

Spent rest of day working on three different websites, fixing stuff mainly, with a little thinking about a new site that I can’t talk about, yet. Hopefully that’s me all caught up and I can try and have a few early nights this coming week.

Aside from that there isn’t really that much going on and on top of that I seem to have misplaced my blogging bug whilst away in Spain, so it’s just as well I’ve still got a raft of questions to answer…

Actually that’s not true, our nephew recently joined the Merchant Navy and is going away to sea for three months. We are having a party for him next week as he’ll miss both Christmas and his birthday so it’s all a bit hectic – he only found out his leaving date late last week – with a buffet to prepare (tips and advice welcomed, it’s a cold buffet to make it as simple as possible).

Ohh and there is one more bit of news that I should really mention, but I’m saving that for later.

Questions Answered #7

In a desperate effort to gain some weird form of validation, I stole an idea for a blog post and begged my readers to ask me a question. And they did. The buggers. Now I have to answer them.

Question 7: Hans adopts the “complete this sentence” approach and gives me the opening line of “If one life is all you get, then:” which is a bit of a broad sweeping statement but, hey that’s never stopped me in the past.

If one life is all you get, then you’d better live it to the full!

That’s what everyone thinks, right? You’ve only one life, so why waste it doing menial things like.. ohh I dunno, washing the car, brushing your hair and so on. After all, if I spend a month of my lifetime washing under my arms then that’s a month lost!!

Nonsense of course, and as we pry deeper we realise that the question isn’t about WHAT you do with your life but HOW you do it.

It’s easy to set goals, make lists of things to do, places to see, experiences to seek, but none of that really matters if you aren’t happy with yourself, first and foremost.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all preachy on you, suffice to say that it took me many years of my life to be happy with who I am, and HOW I am, and whilst there are still aspects of my life I would like to improve, I’m happy enough in myself to know that there is always time. And let’s be honest, if anything was REALLY upsetting me then I’d have done something about it already, right?

So, how do I live my life?

This is going to sound twee as hell but I really do try and live one moment at a time. That way I can pause, consider the moment (and I’m largely talking about negative moments here, the positive ones, quite rightly, skip by far too quickly), and then decide what to do, or more importantly, how to *be* in that moment.

Am I getting annoyed at someone because of what they are doing, or because of something I did? If it’s something I did I can correct it, if it’s something they are doing then the approach softens and I find myself becoming much more relaxed. The problem may not always go away but hey, it’s life, sometimes things don’t go well.

I’m not explaining this very well at all, I know, but it’s hard explain, especially as I always used to consider myself a pessimist, someone who always seemed to be moaning and complaining. That’s something I’ve worked hard to get away from and, whilst I still like a whinge now and then, it ain’t half as often as it used to be.

Living your life continually fighting and arguing and focusing on the negative just isn’t a life. Even if you don’t have ANY aspirations of travel, of new experiences, if YOU are happy with your life, truly happy, then make sure you do everything to keep that happiness. If you are unhappy with your life, ditch the five year plans, the dreams of tropical sun, and sort things out. Make your life as happy as you can. And yes, only YOU can do this, and no it’s not easy, not easy at all. Trust me though, it’s worth it.

Does any of that make sense? Am I talking out of my proverbial again? Is ANYONE STILL READING!??

What’s YOUR secret to living “one life”? (those who believe in reincarnation are invited to put forward their own take on things, seriously, it’d be fascinating).

Why you no redesign?

Apologies for the recent spate of grammatically incorrect post titles, for some reason my brain keeps uttering them in a foreign-tinted accent, ya know mon? Most unsettling really, and personally I blame … umm … someone else (obviously, it’s not MY fault).

However, the question remains, I had planned to redesign this little corner of the interweb but didn’t find the time, far less the inclination, to do so. Why? Read on MacDuff, afore ye lies the answer, or at the very least several ponderings, questions and other general wonderingments.

You see, anytime I think of redesigning THIS site I become a client of myself and lord knows I’m a terrible customer. I know what I LIKE but what I really need to figure out is what I NEED.

This is in complete contrast to a recent client who, upon seeing an early mockup of a site I was designing for him, exclaimed “That’s it, it’s perfect!”. I tried to point out that it was just an early sample, a way of agreeing layout and basic structure but no, he liked it so much that it’ll become the final design (ish). Brilliant. Brilliant for me, brilliant for him. Brilliant! (ahhh, does anyone else miss The Fast Show? Hmmm DVD for Xmas would nice, must add that to my wishlist).

So, to try and figure out what it is I need from the design, I sketch out some thoughts, nothing radical, and that simple act sets my mind thinking… or more accurately it sets both sides of my brain against each other in a weird sparring match.

* wibbly wobbly dream sequence *

[Michael Buffer*]

“LAYDEEZZANNNGENNNLEMNNNN!!!

You join us tonight for a 52 round battle to decide upon the new design of this website!! In the red corner we have “Blog Reader Gordon” with a record of 0 wins, 0 losses and 143 draws. In the blue corner, “Blog Writer Gordon”, with an identical record of 0 wins, 0 losses and 143 draws.

This is a no-disqualification bout, with the winner decided on points by the ring-side judges. So, without further ado…

LLLLLLET’S GET READY TO RUMMBBLLLLLLLLLLE!!!

[/Michael Buffer]

* wibbly wobbly wibbly wobbly *

Back in reality then (sort of) in the red corner the “blog reading” me constantly harps on about text sizes, easy navigation and placement of content, and “blog writing” me sits in the blue corner, rolls his eyes and starts to question whether anyone ever bothers clicking on the photos anyway, so why have them?

The blue corner receives a lot of attention, as the design of this site has a direct link to how *I* want to use it. I’ve covered this before – the headings are large to make them more prominent and try and focus me on writing better, like – and the overflow/miniblog/sidebar bit has grown over the past couple of designs as I use it for ‘quick posts’ more than just links.

The red corner usually sits quietly to one side at these moments, biding his time until I’m almost settled on a certain layout, before leaping in to point out that, whilst it’s all well and good to be ABLE to cram all those links up the top of the page into one line, it might not suit the readers and would hinder navigation. Blue glares at red, and the rest of my brain goes on strike. Repeat ad nauseum.

This battle rages in my head for weeks, in fact it’s probably fair to say that it’s a permanent part of the “blogging Gordon” you all know (and probably hate as I’m so talented, dashing and debonair that I make you puke, right?).

Sometimes one side comes out on top for a while, then the other side fights back, casualties piling up all the while. Then, suddenly, a blinding light sweeps all before it and everything becomes clear. For it is the God of Design and he has descended from on high to lay down his decision (after he’s laid down his shiny new MacBook and paused his iPod). His voice thunders forth:

“Use the template, Luke, trust your feelings” he roars, somewhat confusingly.

I ponder this proclamation for some time, even download and try a few to see how they ‘fit’ with red and blue, before deciding that ohh no, not I, I will survi… um.. will not use templates but rather will persevere with this internal (infernal) battle and see what it produces.

And that’s why I’ve not posted the redesign yet.

It’s absolutely nothing to do with being a complete twit who deleted his new design template.

Stuff wot I missed

One birthday party which seems to have gone very well, and was attended by virtually every single blogger on my “must meet before I die or contract leprosy” list.

One birthday.

The delivery of one mug (no smart comments, thank you).

A Halloween party but no probs there as I’m very ‘humbug’ about dressing up like an idiot.

Guy Fawkes night which is a bit of a bummer as I wanted to test the new camera!

My own self-imposed ‘redesign deadline’. Too much going on at the moment, but more on that, later.

And yes, when things calm down a bit I might even get back to posting properly!