Tag: Reflections

I’m a planner, a goal oriented person. Sometimes it really pisses me off but even subconsciously I’ll break down the simplest thing and give myself a goal. It can be handy when it comes to keeping up with chores (I won’t sit back down until I’ve put a wash on and cleaned the bathroom) and it’s definitely handy when I find the motivation to exercise (competitive? me?).

But sometimes that need to know what is next, what the plan is, what the goals are, means I spend too much time worrying about when things “should” (by my own weird interpretation) happen, rather than relaxing and just letting things happen.

So I’m trying to relax a bit, and only worry about the things that actually need to be worried about.

A good example of my quandary is our upcoming trip to Glastonbury. Yesterday the full lineup, including times, was announced.

Given that there are four days, and 34 different areas, with performances running from 10am through to 6am there is simply no way we’d get to see everything we wanted to see, it’s just impossible. So there are two choices.

Choice 1
Highlight the performances we really want to see and pull together a list of times and locations. That way I at least know that one a certain day, at a certain time, I need to head to a certain area. That way I’d have some level of a plan to keep me happy and the rest we can make up as we go.

Choice 2
Don’t plan a thing. Wander round and stop when something grabs our attention.

We are aiming at mostly Choice 2 (exception being made for Elbow) as it’d be good to just experience the entire thing, than spend four days rushing about from area to area.

So, that’s the plan. Mostly.

Which means, sneakily, there is still a plan!

So I win.

Or do I?

I’m so confused.

It’s snowing. Again. It’s the middle of March and I’m getting really bored of this weather.

That said, as ever, there are worse things that could be happening. Given the recent events in New Zealand and Japan it does feel somewhat churlish to complain about some snow.

That said, life continues. Mum is doing really well, and has definitely entered the final stages which will result in her getting home. She can stand, walk with a cane, and the movement in her right arm is slowly coming back. She’s getting stronger and stronger (you can hear that in her speech) and is her usually, bubbly, giggly, cheeky self for the most part. The house has had extra handrails installed and tomorrow she will be visiting the house, alongwith the Physio and Occupational Therapist, to see how she gets on.

My own little flat is getting there as well. Just waiting on my new sofa to be delivered and it’ll be as complete as it can get (it’s rented). Alas my car is a different story…

About 5 weeks ago (7th of February) I drove through a puddle that was deeper than I expected and managed to flood the engine. It was a stupid thing to do, and entirely avoidable if I’d been paying full attention. But I wasn’t.

So the car got towed off to the repairs garage my insurance firm use. After a couple of weeks with no updates I phoned them and was told that the garage had been ordered to strip the engine to check for damage and they were waiting on the results of their investigation. A further week passes and I end up speaking direct to the garage who, apparently, didn’t receive the instruction to strip the engine until about 8 days after the ‘incident’. He said that they’d stripped the engine and recommended a replacment engine be ordered.

A further week passes and, again when I phone them, the insurance company tell me that they’ve ordered the engine to be further stripped down so they can see if the water made it all the way to the sump. The findings of that were passed back to the insurance company on Friday last week. I am awaiting a final decision today.

Nicely, the terms of my insurance state that I get a courtesy car. For two weeks.

So I’ll take a moment to thank my mate Stuart who kindly offered me the run of his car for a couple of weeks as he was on holiday in Australia (and hadn’t been able to drive it as he broke his arm), and to my mate Ian who has now kindly let me use his car for the next few weeks (he’s got a hire car from his company for the next few months). It’s been a weird few weeks of driving, from my car, to a base model Toyota Aygo (courtesy car) to Stuart’s car (Mini Cooper S convertible) to Ian’s car (Jaguar XJ6). I’d really really like my own car back though (Ford Fiesta batmobile).

Mind you, there was a period where I thought my car might be written off and, as it’s less than a year old, it would actually find me ‘up’ in monetary terms. I had a nice wee second hand Audi TT all picked out too… oh well.

So, all in all, the next few weeks should see the ‘beginning’ of this year. My Mum will be home, my car returned, my sofa delivered and a raft of gigs (music and comedy) are lined up, oh yeah, and I’ll be getting divorced (amicably).

Maybe THEN, 2011 will start to behave and be the year I was expecting it to be!

Looking around for ideas for a new tattoo, I was struck with, given my personal circumstances, that 2011 would be a ‘new’ year, a year of change, growth, reinvention and all that deep thoughtful stuff I’m prone to spend a little too long pondering. Then I spotted this tattoo, which I really liked for the simplicity and because it’s a little bit different.

Off I popped to Custom Inc, where I showed Ema the photo, and asked for something similarly but maybe in a Japanese brushstroke style, something a bit softer and more organic feeling.

The design she came up with I accepted without change.

It’s bloody lovely, and some very fine work. As I said to her when it was finished, “it’s awesome!”

But what does it all mean? Well it’s part Ouroboros which “often represents self-reflexivity or cyclicality, especially in the sense of something constantly re-creating itself, the eternal return, and other things perceived as cycles that begin anew as soon as they end”, part Yggdrasil which in Norse mythology is the “world tree” and can be said to represent as a colossal tree which supports the heavens, thereby connecting the heavens, the earth, and, through its roots, the underground, and finally, and this is the part of the design that Ema came up with, the geometric shapes echo the Flower of Life (sacred geometry) which is a visual expression of the connections life weaves through all sentient beings.

And to me it means all that and more. Plus, it’s fuckin gorgeous.