A year has passed since you left us.
I have been dreaming of you lately, odd childhood moments all smushed together into an incoherent ramble that I awake from feeling confused and sad.
A year of grief rolling over my bones, picking at my skin. Jagged and sharp in shape and form.
I am trying not to be defined by my grief, but it’s hard. Everything I do feels tainted at times, but I know this will change in time. Just as my initial shock and anger faded, so too my grief will soften.
I hope that happens soon because this still hurts so much, feels so wrong not to have my little sister around. Yet I’m in no rush as my grief for you keeps you vivid in my mind, and I don’t want that to change any time soon.
I can withstand this pain, this gentle torture of memories, because I love you now as I loved you from the first moment you arrived and, rightly, stole all the attention.
I miss making you smile.
Comments
[…] It was the first anniversary of my younger sisters’ death. Already said all I need to on that. […]