Month: June 2018

That was London

I have been and went to that London and it was good!

Mind you there was a small blip at first. I was primarily there to see the Foo Fighters perform at Wembley Stadium, so you can imagine my confusion when I realised, only a few days before heading down, that they were, in fact, performing at the Olympic Stadium. This rendered my ‘clever’ hotel location booking a bit redundant but that’s what I get for not checking the detail.

I’m calling this the ‘London effect’ as it’s not the first time I’ve gotten locations wrong …

A few years ago, I was down in London and on arriving at our hotel for the weekend I boldly marched up to the reception, stated my name and said I had a booking (does anyone else have that mild panic the minute you say that? what if you’ve screwed up?? Ahhh read on…). Blank looks ensued from behind the reception desk, my name was repeated back to me, and confirmed that yes, my name was McLean, but no, there is no booking with that name. I hurriedly retrieved my phone from the depths of a pocket to show that I did indeed have a booking, howverydareyou, and I was proven right! I did have a booking.. at one of the hotel chains other locations… Oops.

Oh well.

London is, as always, mind-boggingly big and awkward and messy and loud and diverse and a bit scary and wonderfully friendly, and continues to be all these things all at once. I love it. Even the touristy bits which I’ve seen plenty of have a certain appeal, and sure, maybe it didn’t matter where we were as the sun shone all weekend long, so sitting outside a pub in Shepherds Green was just the nicest way to spend a Thursday evening after getting the train down from Glasgow that afternoon.

Friday was Foo Fighters Day and we set out early to give us time to wander and enjoy the sunshine, walking from the hotel through the edge of Notting Hill, on towards Kensington Gardens then down into Hyde Park. It was all very lovely and very warm. From there we hopped on the Underground out to Stratford and located a small bar and sat there for a while before heading to the stadium.

Stadium gigs aren’t for everyone, but being part of 100,000 odd people dancing and singing and cheering to the same songs that you love is oddly uplifting and despite the volume of people I always come away from these things feeling more connected and positive via the joint experience, than in any way disconnected or de-personalised due to the sheer volume of people. It’s wonderful.

Also wonderful was bumping into the single other person who I knew was going, I mean what are the odds! (yeah yeah 100,000:1 I know).

The gig itself was every bit as rock n roll ridiculous as you might imagine, in the best possible way. I’m pretty sure the Foo Fighter amps all go to 11 and they are so unashamedly ‘hey we are doing a big rock stadium gig’ that it’s infectious… I mean an amazing 10 minute drum solo as the kit rises and rises up above the stage? C’MON!! They are virtually a parody of themselves but with enough of a knowing wink that it never feels false; this is not a band who take themselves seriously. They do, however, take their performances seriously and so, just over 2.30hrs later (and 15 mins beyond the curfew) we all bide our goodbyes and sang our way out of the stadium, the WHOAAAAA aaaaoooo chorus from Best of You on repeat.

Sidenote: Dave Grohl is a ridiculous man, as sweet as he is loud. Calling a good third of your audience assholes for not having attend a Foo Fighters gig before and GETTING AWAY WITH IT… can he do no wrong?

Needless to say Saturday rolled around in a bit of a haze – no YOU were drinking pints of Pimms – which is why we were lucky that we found a nice little bistro for brunch before setting off into the city to the hustle and bustle of Borough Market.

That afternoon I was lucky enough to catch up with some blogging friends for a few shandies. I think the last time I saw some of these lovely people was about six years ago (at yet another bloggers wedding), and in that lovely way that happens when you are in the company of ‘good people’, we all just picked up where we left off. Of course social media helps, but it was so lovely to spend time with them. Maybe an old skool bloggers meet up is overdue?

Another hazy start on Sunday (perhaps there were a few too many shandies?) and some time to myself found me wandering once more through the parks in the sunshine, pausing to meditate under a tree, then getting caught up in a massive Hari Krishna parade, before finding my way to the South Bank to spend the day with a lovely friend of mine.

We spent the day hiding from the crowds and the baking hot sunshine in the Hayward Gallery (the Lee Bul exhibition is well worth a look), and then exploring the new ‘wing’ of the Tate Modern which is vast and as always full of the usual mix of installations and art (the most impactful was a timelapse video from Suzanne Lacy – The Crystal Quilt).

The day was rounded off with more beer, even more great company (including a surprise visit which only added to the joy of the weekend), and the last underground train back to the hotel.

I must not leave it so long again. I spent most of the weekend with a smile on my face (for many different reasons) and as we travelled back to Glasgow, little memories kept floating into my head and I’d start smiling all over again. More blessings to be counted.

At one point during the weekend the topic of having a ‘tribe’ came up, and my weekend in London was a perfect example of this. When I first started blogging I had no sense of where it might lead. We were a small band, and on my first visit to London I tentatively suggested meeting up with some of them. It was a nervous wait but as more and more people turned up (15-20 of us) the more I relaxed I became because these were, in various little ways, all ‘my people’ in one form or another.

Fair to say that my weekend was full of highlights and wonderful new memories (even a hotel room that barely dipped below about 28C all weekend no matter what we tried had no impact on my mood). From the Foo Fighters, to friends, to lots of fun, I’m only really writing this post so that I don’t forget any of them.

And yes, I’m already making plans to go back again.

Clap your hands

I walked home from work the other day. It takes about an hour at a reasonable pace, but that day I was in no rush at all. The sun was darting in and out between fluffy clouds and there was a gentle breeze in the air. There were flowers everywhere, vibrant green hues in the branches overhead, and the recent rains had swollen the river enough to give it a pleasing burble as it meandered its way downstream.

There is something very soothing about walking with no real purpose, letting your body find its own pace, feeling the connection your foot makes with the ground and how your body reacts to that. A simple way to stay, literally, grounded and able to take in the world around you in all its beautiful detail, a simple way to feel alive as your skin reacts to the wind brushing past and the warmth of the sun on your face.

I’ll typically listen to a podcast as I walk, sometimes losing myself in the conversations (and it’s always conversations that fascinate me the most). Sometimes I’ll laugh out loud, sometimes I’ll realise I’m on the verge of crying at as a tear rolls down my cheek, sometimes I’ll be so lost in thought that I don’t even realise I’ve stopped listening to the podcast as my brain has veered off on a tangent.

It’s such a simple pleasure afforded to me thanks to some fabulous weather recently and one I should take more often. It’s time that is completely free of pressure or expectation – one benefit of being single and living alone as there isn’t anyone waiting for me – and I can let my brain relax and let the stresses of the day slowly fade to nothing. No matter how hard I try, I can’t achieve this feeling sitting at home. There are too many reminders of chores that need done, tasks that need completed.

This isn’t the first time I’ve walked home, and the walks have become meditative in quality. Sometimes they can be melancholy (which is no bad thing), sometimes they can be energetic and uplifting, and most times they leave me with a sense of calm, a happiness that descends and highlights how lucky I am and how good my life is.

It’s not something I write about all that often, after all no-one likes the humble brag but I think it’s important to find a balance so if you’ll forgive me, let me count my blessings.

1. A loving family

We’ve been through wonderful highs and soul destroying lows together and I realise more and more just how lucky I am to have a family who love me, who support me, and who put up with me! My parents brought me up to be a considerate person, a curious person, and without them I would not be the person I am today. Equally, my little sister continues to inspire me to be kinder and better, and I could not be happier or prouder seeing her become a Mummy.

2. Close/old friends

There aren’t that many of them but what my closest group of friends lack in number they more than make up for in every other way. If I’m ever a bit flat, or ever too full of myself, these are the folk to keep me grounded and balanced. We pick up where we left off, old jokes are mercilessly recycled year on year. These are the people who’d help me hide a dead body.

3. Friends and acquaintances

The biggest group by far, and I’ve already written about how many of them are connected. From the bloggers to the gym goers, the Yelpers and the ex-colleagues I try and keep in touch with as many of them as I can. It’s not always easy, and definitely not something I’m good at but they are all good people so it’s never a chore.

4. Other life stuff

I have a job. I have a roof over my head and food in my cupboards. It’s easy to take that for granted, just as it’s easy to take my (mostly) good health as just the way things are. I’ve worked on both my mental and physical health a lot these past couple of years, and will continue to do so, and that is a blessing in and of itself as well.

Of course there is much more to all of this.

The bottom line here, one that I don’t state all that often, is that I am happy. I have a good life, even on the crappiest of crap days, all of the above hold true. There is always a new day on the horizon. I am happy, and for once I really wanted to show it.

Derren Brown

I’m writing this a few days after the event, just in case there were any lingering effects. I fear my mind may never quite recover…

Note: NO SPOILERS INCLUDED.

I’ve seen most, if not all, of Derren Brown’s TV shows. From the one off specials to the early series that were broadcast in a late evening slot on Ch4. He is not without controversy and I’ll happily admit to, still, remaining sceptical about how he does what he does; is it magic, is it manipulation, are there stooges involved, is it all fake?

Or perhaps it’s a little bit of everything? He is first and foremost as he readily admits, a showman, he is trying to entertain using methods and tricks that can be learned. A lot of the show is based on suggestion, on convincing an audience, or a few members of it, to go along with something even though they aren’t really sure why.

It helps that he is engaging, smart and quick-witted – helpful when something goes wrong, which it did… or may have?… the night we saw him (I have yet to discuss this with friends who were there the following evening!) – and the careful layering of ideas, coupled with alleged explanations of what he is doing, even down to the vaudeville style stage tricks (with a gorilla) all make his show a very entertaining evening.

Mind you I’m not convinced that any of the explanations offered were completely true, nor am I convinced about that ‘mistake’. A fumbled word here, a mis-step there, is it all part of the show, all designed to keep us a little unsure and off-balance?

Ultimately, whilst I have some understanding of how he does what he does (I guessed two things correctly) it’s still a very impressive mix of techniques and skills that delivers some mind-bending results. One word continually sprang to mind as I sat there in disbelief; HOW?

If you’ve watched any of his TV shows you’ll have seen some of the acts he performed before – this is a greatest hits kinda tour – and whilst each segment of the show stands on its own, the very final reveal confirms it’s been carefully planned all along and that you have been manipulated from the minute you walked in and sat down.

Ohhh and what a final reveal, it’s a double whammy that builds on one ‘impossible’ finale to before delivery a second that beggars belief, and I definitely wasn’t the only one, you could feel the slow build of realisation ripples through the audience… is that… did he… but he said… accompanied by gasps, faces held in hands, mouths agape… (OK, that was mostly just me).

What a wonderful evening of mind boggling entertainment. Part of the fun in seeing him perform live was seeing if I could spot anything, anything you couldn’t catch on TV. I think for the hour and a half I caught maybe two or three little moments, but even now I’m not sure if they mean, or meant, anything at all.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to lie down in a dark room for a few days.

Podcast: No Such Thing As A Fish

Probably the most popular podcast I listen to, so likely won’t be news to many of you, but without fail No Such Thing As A Fish has managed to educate and humour me with every single episode. Some are funnier than others, some are definitely more quite interesting* than others, but regardless it’s never not a wonderfully silly listen.

The people behind it were/are all researchers involved with QI (*hence the rather horrible wording) and each week each of the four panellists (aka QI elves) bring one fact that they discovered in the past week, along with some background research of other interesting and related tidbits. It sounds dull, but the four main members of the team are engaging, witty, knowledgeable and funny, and keep the entire 30-40 mins light, fast paced and mostly hilarious.

It may be a little on the geeky side, but it’s the only podcast that makes me laugh out loud on a regular basis.

Note: there is some swearing and depending on the topic, it can be quite rude, but that’s half the fun!

You can access episodes only here to give them a whirl.

Or, you can subscribe to future episodes using this RSS Link.

My Ever Shrinking World

Say yes more than no (it can lead to amazing things).

Whilst not quite a mantra, this is definitely something I’ve been trying to be better at in an effort to be more spontaneous and social. Sometimes it can be a battle to get out of the door at all, but I find if I have plans with other people I’m more likely to make the effort to get my lazy arse up off the sofa as I don’t like letting people down (which I realise is heading into the ‘I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED, LOVE ME!!!!’ territory but that, as ever, is for an entirely other post or, you know, the entire subtext of this blog. Whatever.)

Here’s the thing. I’m a middle-aged man, fighting off looming old age as best I can using a variety of methods; I try and be good to my body by feeding it well and moving it often, I try and be good (better at least) to my brain by letting it pause now and then, I try and keep my soul active and connected to the wider world by reading and listening and learning from people who are smarter than me but still speak my language in terms of sensibilities and world views, and I take note of opposing views and artefacts as best I can.

And lastly, as some of you may have noticed, I can be quite the little social butterfly(*). That said, sometimes I say yes a little too readily (PLEASE LIKE ME AND LET ME BE YOUR FRIEND!) and sometimes I’ve said yes then changed my mind later to make sure I’m not overdoing things… what a funny thing our minds can be; BE BUSY! OK I will! WHOA, not THAT busy, now go lie down in a dark room!!

I recently had occasion to say yes, I swithered but that little voice in my head perked up and delivered it’s usual reasoned thinking; Say yes but have a plan to cut things short if you need to. This is not a new thing, and it’s part and parcel of being me, sometimes I just timeout and have to leave. I’m never sure why or when it’ll hit but I tend to plan for it.

I digress. I said yes when a friend invited me out for drinks. Big whoop, right?

It was a Sunday (before the last bank holiday) and I swithered a bit but ultimately decided to push myself to get up off of the sofa and I’m so glad I did! If I hadn’t have said yes to the offer of going for a few beers with a couple of people from the gym, then I wouldn’t have ended up goinging for a curry with them that evening, during which we agreed to go walking up a hill the following day in the same company, plus two adorable staffies.

All in all it was a lovely, random, unplanned couple of days and in one of those little quirks of life, it turns out that one of said lovely couple grew up in my hometown of Dumbarton. I only found this fact out the following weekend as they invited me for a barbeque just because it was sunny (did I mention that they are lovely?). Anyway, it was fun to have someone from my old school to chat to about things from back in the day, even though there is a few years between us (I’d left secondary school a couple of years before she entered). Given I have virtually no contact of note (Facebook doesn’t count) with people I went to school with and haven’t ever really had the need or desire to think back to my school days, it was a bit surreal to actually be chatting about some of the teachers and classrooms of my youth.

From saying a simple ‘yes’ to meeting some (new) friends I met at the gym, to chatting about my old school with someone who happens to come from Dumbarton as well just proves that the world really isn’t all that big.

Mind you, given some of the coincidences that have occurred to me over the past few years I’m starting to wonder whether it’s the world that’s shrinking or somehow I’m just starting to occupy more connected space in it? Is this really just that whole six degrees of separation thing at play? Perhaps it is, and I only really need to dig in to some of the connections I’ve made in the wonderful Venn diagram that is my life.

It all starts with a small knitting cafe/shop in the West End of Glasgow called the Yarn Cake (go for the knitting, stay for the cakes!)…

I was in Reading, I think, speaking at a conference and I attended a talk by a woman by the name of Chris Atherton. Her talk was fascinating and I was lucky enough to chat to her later on (my ability to converse semi-coherently whilst fairly drunk is my key networking skill!). She mentioned she was visiting Glasgow in a few weeks to help paint a friends new shop, a fact which fell out of my brain until she mentioned it on Twitter a few weeks later, stating ‘anyone I know in Glasgow’ that she’d be around for a drink. Unfortunately I couldn’t make it along to meet her and replied, via public Twitter, as such.

My reply tweet prompted another friend of mine, Ann (of the wonderful daily quote emails that you really should subscribe to), to message me to ask how I knew about the Yarn Cake? Ann knew of the Yarn Cake as she is a knitter and hails from north of the border (like all good people), and when I said I’d only heard about it via Chris, well it turned out Ann knows Chris too. Not a massive coincidence perhaps, as our professional careers have a bit of an overlap but still… given I only know Ann via blogging, it’s a lucky connection if nothing else, right?

Venn circles : Work, Blogging.

Ohhh and the owner of the Yarn Cake, the wonderful Antse, I later I got to meet at an event (more on these in a bit). I chatted to her for a while before I asked what she did, and lo and behold… the circle was complete. Well, one of them.

Now let’s fast forward a few months, my (now ex)girlriend was getting into knitting and I mentioned the Yarn Cake to her. The shop ran social evenings for knitters to get together and hang out (and chat and knit and eat cake). She went along and met someone named Sara who I also got to know when the three of us went to the Scottish Tattoo Convention later that year. Sara also invited us along to watch Roller Derby as she was involved with the local Glasgow team (which we was loads of fun).

Venn circle : Roller Derby.

The next circle of this little Venn diagram was first formed when I moved into Glasgow. Recently divorced, I started looking around for some other ways to expand my social circle and stumbled across the Yelp community. I had been using the app to find places to eat and drink, and things to do as I ‘rediscovered’ Glasgow for myself and saw that there was a “Pakora night” happening and, after a sip or three of Dutch courage, I ventured along to one of Glasgow’s beloved curry houses and, there in the basement of Mother India, was another suggestion that my world was shrinking.

Before turning up at the Yelp event I had messaged the community manager and she had warmly invited me to come along. So as I opened the door and ventured inside I was hoping to bump into her first so there would be at least one person I ‘knew’. Lo and behold the first person I spotted was a guy I worked with! Excellent, I thought, I know someone here. What I didn’t know at that point was that the guy I knew, was the husband of the community manager.

That was the first of many wonderful Yelp events through which I was lucky enough to get to know a lot of amazing, vibrant, lovely people, many of which I consider to be good friends. And through those early events, as I started to get to know more people I realised that quite a few of the women were also involved in the local Roller derby team and knew Sara .. and the world shrunk a little more.

Venn circle : Yelp.

Zip forward a few years, the Yelp community is no more (booooo!) and I’m now a regular at a gym that I originally found via Yelp. It’s a progressive type of place that is very protective of its inclusive atmosphere, it’s no real surprise that the majority of attendees are people who don’t identify as male. Equally, given the crossover of Yelp and Roller Derby it’s not really a surprise that quite a few of the attendees all play/played roller derby together… so I already knew a fair portion of the people at the gym before I started going.

Venn circle : Gym.

Now let’s go back to the start. When I wandered down to Byres Road that day, the day I said yes, and met my friends from the gym? Well that lovely couple also occupy a couple of Venn circles as they too were involved in Roller Derby. This is all getting a bit ridiculous now. But wait! As I arrived they were sitting with a guy that they knew, and that I knew from a completely OTHER group of friends! And at this point I’m about ready to concede defeat and just presume that everyone in Glasgow knows everyone else.

But was it always this way? The Yelp/Roller Derby/Gym links wouldn’t have been available to me without the internet and social media, which makes me wonder if I would know even half of the amazing people I do today without it?

Many (many) years ago when I started this blog, there was only a handful of other people in the UK who were also partaking of this new online publishing nonsense. They were all, without exception, far more accomplished writers, thinkers, and all round human beings than I, but because they were so few us around they couldn’t get rid of me. I commented, linked, and emailed back and forth and started to build some friendships*. I was lucky enough to get to meet several of them in real life, coaxing them out to the pub on a couple of my visits to London. Yup, we were doing ‘meet ups’ before MeetUp existed, that’s how old skool we are!

I’m still lucky to be able to call many of those same people my friends, I’ve met them a few more times, been invited to their weddings, even spoke did a reading at one of them (which was a surprise for me as she hadn’t actually told me about it so I only found out when they announced “and next, Gordon will read an excerpt from My Love is like a red red rose”).

I’ve probably fallen out of touch with more than my fair share of these people as well much to my shame, I really must do something about that…

This, for me, is the HUGE upside of social media; the ability to make connections with like-minded people regardless of where they are. Some of the people from the early blogging days now live outside of the UK but I still have a tiny portal through which to watch their lives unfold and expand, and it makes me so happy to see so many of them prosper (did I mention how talented and downright amazing they all are?!).

Closer to home the effects are even greater. It’s safe to say that I’m pretty busy most weeks and that’s entirely because I’m reaping the fruit borne of all these connections (as those with access to my Facebook Events page can testify). From gigs, to theatre visits, to gin festivals, to hill walking, to barbeques, to fancy dress parties, to weddings, there is so much love and laughter in my life I feel very blessed.

Saying yes more than no is a nice phrase but can be hard to achieve at times. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to go along to an event where you don’t know anyone is scary, and can be emotionally tiring and I know I’m very lucky, not everyone is able to do what I do. Equally there is a lot to be said for saying no, for taking time for and by yourself.

Regular readers of this blog (both of you) will not be surprised that this is something that, despite my calendar showing otherwise, I’m quite careful to keep in balance. Sure I may be out every night of a given week but I protect my gym nights, it’s all I do that night and sometimes even that can be a struggle. No, not the gym part but the being around other people part.

There is a flip side to this as well. If you are the person inviting others, and they say no, it’s worth keeping in mind that maybe they wanted to say yes but couldn’t. Don’t stop inviting them no matter what it feels like to you, they aren’t saying no because they don’t want to spend time with you, but because they want to spend time with themselves. Invite them again, and maybe ask if it’s ok to keep inviting them in the future. You’d be surprised how many people get stressed when an invite arrives, even for something minor.

Looking back over the past few years it’s easy for me to see that the larger my little weird Venn diagram gets the better I feel about my life, the more connected I am to people the more grounded I feel. These connections are a subtle form of self-care at times, a massively overwhelming one at others, but it is something I know I need. I’m a sociable person, an extroverted introvert, and I’ll continue to say yes as often as I can. After all, who knows what might happen tomorrow?


  • Somewhere in my brain I gently categorising people I have relationships with; my family, my closest dearest loved ones, my friends, and general acquaintances. I’m very lucky.