Month: March 2007

Shaggy Blog Stories

UPDATE: The deadline has been pulled FORWARD. You have until 6pm on Tuesday 13th March (that’s tonight!)

How tardy of me.

At some point, deep in the midst of my brain-melting week, I received an email from mike. Mike had had a big idea. That, in itself, is nothing new. Mike has big ideas all the time and, largely, puts every other blogger, that has ever existed, now and before, to shame.

I really must learn to punctuate, the previous sentences contains too many commas and that can’t be good for you…

The big idea, in aid of Comic Relief, is detailed on mike’s site:

What Iรขโ‚ฌโ„ขm proposing is to assemble and publish รขโ‚ฌโ€œ in the space of just seven days – a paperback anthology of blog writing, that can be sold to raise funds for the charity.

The book will be called Shaggy Blog Stories: a collection of amusing tales from the UK blogosphere.

Genius.

So, if you is a person wot blogs, and you have writed a funny post, no matter how long ago, then let mike know.

All the details are on his site, and uptake looks good so far, but it could be better!!

Me? I don’t do funny that often, so I’m hoping a suggested practical joke will suffice…

Anyway, don’t just sit there. Head over to Troubled Diva and see what all the fuss is about.

Last week…

Hello all, apologies for my absence last week, couldn’t be helped, c’est la vie and all that.

So a quick catchup. Last week was my induction week for Graham Technology and the only downside is that it made me feel very old. This is only because the majority of the other ‘new starts’ were fresh out of university, thus limiting conversations about, say, the Smash aliens, or even about how you found information on the internet before Google existed. I am old.

Other than that it was an excellent week, very informative and even this old head learned something new. They even managed to hold Graham Technology’s 21st birthday party on Friday night, and there are rumours that I was drinking tequila and dancing like a loon. Rumours. Honest.

And so to Saturday and the arrival of my new PC.

Ha. Fucking. ha.

Walsh Western, you are a shower of incompetent wankfucks.

And that, via a few games of rugby and a very dodgy movie (National Treasure, which apparently thinks it doesn’t need a storyline), brings us to Monday morning. I’m off to listen to Neon Bible in preparation for the Arcade Fire gig tonight. I’ll try and catch up on what YOU have been doing a little later.

Ohhh, almost forget. It seems I may be quoted in the Sunday Times yesterday. It’s not a paper I buy… does anyone still have a copy?

Still here…

… just busy and without a home PC until Saturday.

Normal service will be resumed soon.

Whatever the hell that is…

Cynic-less

I must be getting old. I’m losing my cynicism.

Or rather, I’m refusing to be curtailed by it, and I’m stating this now so you can all point this out later on when I suddenly perform a dramatic U-turn.

Which reminds me, to the lorry driver in front of me this morning, yes you. The one who was veering all over the road, never indicated once and seemed to be braking randomly. May I gently suggest that suddenly throwing your three ton lorry to the left at a small roundabout, so hard that two wheels come off the ground and without any indication of your intent, may be the reason that some of the other drivers seemed a little irate? Particularly as, you had to cut right cross an entire lane of traffic to do so.. you big dangerous twat, you.

Right, where was I?

Ohh yes.

Part of our induction this week was a course titled “Kissing with confidence”, which was all about good personal communication with the aim of improving our presentation skills. Having done a fair amount of research on this topic early last year, it was interesting to see and hear a lot of what I read put into practise, and I thoroughly enjoyed the day.

However, a few years ago, I don’t think I would. I think the reason that has changed, and it’s a conscious effort on my part, is that I’m trying to ditch the cynicism and contrariness that plagued me in the past. Joining a new company is a perfect time to re-invent yourself, to take a look at how you conduct yourself and how others might see you, and then make some efforts to change what you don’t like.

It’s not easy, and it’s not always obvious what needs changed (but most of us know, don’t we?) but it is possible.

Of course I’m not suggesting, not for a moment, that a certain level of cynicism isn’t useful, in fact I’d say it’s downright healthy, but I do feel that a lot of people need to tread more carefully along the line between being cynical and being negative. I’ve stepped way over that line in the past, so I’m treating it with a little more respect these days.

Eagles of Death Metal

First time I’ve been in the ABC in Glasgow and as first impressions are, supposedly, important then I think my relationship with the venue is off to a flying start. Small without being dingy, large enough to hold a big crowd without feeling crammed in, it’s an ideal venue for all but the largest acts.

I’ll skip over the support act as they were largely ANOTHER punk/rock type band (was supposed to be The Spores but they pulled out). All thin trousers, raspy guitars and more energy than craft. They were called “The Mothers of… ” something or other but their lead singer needs some elocution lessons. I want to say “.. Invention” but I seriously hope it wasn’t.

Waiting for the band to come on stage, AC/DC played ‘gently’ in the background before, with little warning, the PA suddenly kicked up a notch or ten and my chest started thumping intime with the hip-hop beat of… well I can’t recall the name but it certainly set the tone for the evening.

A few seconds later the leader singer Jesse Hughes strutted on stage, with the rest of the band following in his wake. Whilst they are a very tight act, there is no doubt who the frontman is… and what a frontman, definitely a rock star, with the slicked back hair, sunglasses, tight jeans and shirt open to the waist, the hint of cowboy reminded me of Brad Pitt in Kalifornia.. southern rock hick.

Musically, the name of the band is off putting. They are not a death metal band, and there are accounts that suggest the name came about because they wanted to mix the sound of The Eagles with some death metal influences. Whether or not that’s true, it’s grimy, dirty rock and roll and they kept the placing jumping and dancing for the entire set. A few cover versions —Stuck in the Middle with You, Brown Sugar, and Beat on the Brat— kept you guessing, and almost everyone joined in the obligatory “Wooo yeahh” crowd singing moments.

With Hughes dancing and preening and cajoling and teasing the crowd, it’s almost tempting to think that we WERE witnessing the best gig of the tour. Certainly their claim that they were going to, for the first time, play “Solid Gold” live seems to be true, and Hughes in particularly seemed genuinely overwhelmed at the response. As was I. It may be in part due to the size of the venue but it’s been a long time since I felt so involved, so part of a gig and a lot of credit has to go to Jesse Hughes.

Of course the music lended itself to the good atmosphere, with hip-hop inspired beats backing some fairly heavy guitar, the band sit on the edge of being “metal” with just enough “americana” thrown in to keep things from destructing. Every gig is the “best gig since the last one” but this one might just push it’s way into my top three. I’d certainly love to see some of my favourite bands play somewhere as small as the ABC, in particular the Foo Fighters (their gig at the SECC – AKA the “big red shed” – now seems even less personal and involving than I realised).

So, to summarise: Eagles of Death Metal, Glasgow ABC, 5th March 2007. Kicked. Fucking. Ass.

P.S. Can anyone tell me why my last.fm accounted has been switched to French?

Miscellany

Vroooommm click

Wouldn’t it be cool if you had a front mounted camera on your car. How many times have you been driving along, admiring the view laid out before you, without anyway of stopping and capturing it? Those mornings when the sun is streaming dramatically through the clouds, whilst some idiot is 2 feet from your rear bumper meaning that any deviant from your course will problem result in the removal of your rear bumper.

Yes that type of camera would be very nice to have. Please Mr. Manufacturer, make it so.

Either that or fit a rear-pointing rocket launcher to my car. Thankseversomuch.

Red moon

Arriving home on Saturday night, Louise commented on the colour of the moon. It was rather striking, and we nipped upstairs to setup the telescope. Thankfully the sky was crystal clear and we got an excellent view of what turned out to be an eclipse. I also got a couple of slightly dodgy photos.. but bugger me, the moon is a tricky subject to photograph. Admittedly it could’ve been down to the bottle of Cabernet Merlot I’d quaffed, or perhaps the 35% proof rum, or the fact it was midnight, the temperature was hovering around zero and I had neglected to put a jumper on..

Glad we caught it though. Even if it was completely by chance.

No-one to thank

Like most bloggers (I suspect, ohh god, say I’m not the only one who does this!), there are times when I catch myself viewing the world primarily as a means to aid with the composition a post. I was doing just that the other morning, and had the bare bones of a post mapped out in my head… before realising that it contained a basic flaw and I wouldn’t be able to post it.

However, in the spirit of sharing and, um, because it’s Monday morning and I’ve little else to mention… see if you can spot the flaw in the following:

Dear God,

Congratulations on that sunrise thing. It truly is a work of genius, I honestly wish I’d been getting up this early more often to catch this dazzling display.

Slight problem though, as my drive to work takes me West, I am spending increasing amounts of time gazing into my mirrors. Understandably this is possibly not the best thing to be doing whilst belting along the A726 at 70mph..

Any chance you could flip things around, sunrise in the West, sunset in the East? No? Pffff, and you call yourself a deity..

Did you spot it?

Forced blogging

I’d like to coin a new term. For all of us who have forced themselves to start writing, in the hope that a viable blog post will spew forth, I’d like to introduce “forcing”. No wait, that’s already something… umm… “Forging” .. dammit.. “Forceblogging”?

Arses.

Whatever the term is, this post is most DEFINITELY an excellent example of this new genre of blogging.

Forciblogging? Determinablogging?

And finally…

It seems the gods of technology are hell bent on retribution. Not only is my home PC beginning to make some rather loud rattley type noises, far louder and rattlier than normal, but this week I’m in a week long induction course (which does include a session entitled “First Expressions, Lasting Impressions”…). Blogging shall be of the “lite” variety, diet blogging, if you will.

Of course I’m sure I’ll find the odd moment here and there but I’m just getting my excuses in now, rather than have you all wondering if my previous post —Blogs are rubbish— was some form of epitaph. Although, frankly, if you think that’s how I’d sign off from blogland you are sadly mistaken and really haven’t been paying proper attention.