Tag: Life

Entry 582 of an ongoing series of posts about how minor injuries and life events continue to get in the way of carefully made plans.

Safe to say it’s been an eventful year so far, in no specific order…

At the end of January we had booked in to a hotel for a night to celebrate the anniversary of our engagement. It would also be our first night ‘away’ with Jack. We had a lovely time, the hotel was great, and all was good until we started the car next morning, only to hear a horrible crunching sound. That was 10:30am.

The tow truck eventually arrived at 4pm. Thankfully the hotel graciously allowed us back into our room for the day (there wasn’t anyone booked in it anyway) so we hung about Kenmore for the day, and with the car finally assessed (DMF failure) and towed it was Granny Morna to the rescue! She drove up to get us and got us safely home. The car is fixed now, all under warranty, but what a long day.

We’ve also had our landlord serve notice so we have to move in a few months. She was very apologetic as she knows our circumstance with Jack (she’s been a great landlord!) but she needs to move back in. So we’ve moved to Bothwell! From a maisonette in the city, to a 3 bed semi, with a garden and conservatory, a good place for Jack to grow up, maybe ever cloud does have a silver lining?! All depends on how much it’ll cost to get the garden turned into an actual garden as, at present, it’s more of an overgrown and neglected wasteland.

We also had a wee trip to A&E after Jack banged his head. He’s fine, but as the first ‘scare’ it was NOT fun for Dad who had to wait outside (thanks COVID rules) for a few hours until he could see his boy and hold him and cry over him as, lo and behold, he’s fine!

On top of all that and I’ve developed a sore foot which I think might be a nerve issue. Not a quick fix at the best of times, but with NHS still ‘behind’ thanks to COVID (not a complaint about the NHS!) it could be weeks until I get a proper consultation, looking at private options.

That said, we’ve moved in to the house, and now my mind is turning to cycling as I’ve three Sportives coming up and with next to no training in the last 6 months it’s time to get out on the roads (and up the hills!).

However the overarching positive is our son, our chunky little boy who is growing fast, and brings us smiles every single day even through the worst of the teething so far. I never knew that I could adore, love, and be so overwhelmingly consumed by fascination with anything, I am cherishing every single moment as best I can.

Life is Jack. That’s pretty much my update.

There is so much more to it than that of course, it’s a whirlwind ride of sleepless nights, smiles and giggles, nappy changing, pram walks, and those moments when he looks at me and my heart melts all over again.

It’s magical.

We are finding a balance though, Becca getting to the gym, Jack going swimming, and I’ve started nice long walks with him on my lunch hour. Needless to say watching Jack grow (fast and big!) is amazing, his motor skills are coming along, and at almost 5 months old he’s almost sitting up and is grabbing everything in sight to cram into his mouth.

It does mean time and energy for other things is taking a back seat for now, mostly this blog, but even that will come around.

Until then we’ve got a house move to organise. Fun timing eh!

I’m still not sure how I feel about going and standing in a busy venue, next to hundreds of other people, especially given the current (re-?)rise of COVID instances but given how many gigs I had booked that got rescheduled thanks to the pandemic, it’s something I need to figure out.

I have some time to get my head around it mind you, with gigs from 2020 being rescheduled to 2022 (and one in 2023) and whilst I’ve already missed one (sorry Elbow!) there are a couple on the list below that we will NOT be missing!!

• Skunk Anansie – 26th April 2022
• Pet Shop Boys – 29th May 2022
• Crowded House – 10th June 2022
• Brass Against – 23rd June 2022
• Hella Mega Tour – 29th June 2022
• Elton John – 17th June 2023

Of course we also now have the wonderful additional complication of Jack to consider too – I can see me dragging someone else along to Skunk Anansie – but by the end of May hopefully the wee man will be able to be babysat for an evening whilst Mum & Dad go out and have some fun.

I’ve missed live music, more than I think I even realise, and I am excited to get back to the venues as long as I can shake this unsettling anxiousness that remains. Part of me thinks I’m worrying too much, part of me thinks I should just cancel the lot of them and sell the tickets because I just don’t trust ‘people’ enough to feel safe. That said, many people I trust are back out at gigs, although the pervasive notion seems to be “double jabbed is good enough and sure I might get COVID but I won’t die so what’s the harm?” which doesn’t really set my mind at ease.

Equally I have a family to think about and, as a contractor, if I don’t work I don’t get paid and whilst we have a small buffer in place I find I’m more cautious these days about such things; sidebar to being out on my bike and almost having a very bad incident which was entirely down to my own folly, to which end I am now much more careful on descents and corners lest I end up skidding into another turning on the wrong side of the road and thanking a deity that there aren’t any cars there.

I know these fears and worries will fade, just as I know that as time goes by I find myself yearning to get back out into gig land. I know too that by the time these gigs roll around I’ll feel a lot more comfortable within myself about being out and about amongst the masses, as we unite at the alter of live music. Oh Happy Day!

In fact I know I’ve turned a corner in my thinking because I’m already keeping an eye out for other gigs, although I’m going to need to be pretty picky given the additional logistics to consider. And even if I don’t pick up any other tickets that still leaves Skunk Anansie as a ‘first gig’ back which might just be perfect; it’ll be rammed, hot, busy, and LOUD. Just the thing to finally shake off my COVID fears and get me back out into the world.

I’m on the mend but last week saw me struggle with some food poisoning/a tummy bug that left me in bed from Friday evening through to this morning. A few slices of toast, some isotonic drinks, were all I could stomach. I slept a lot too, as I am prone to do when ill, but had quite a bit of time just lying in bed contemplating life.

I was too tired for any prolonged or deep analysis but topics included:

• Of my own sensibilities and thoughts on how to behave, how much of it was instilled in me by my parents, and how much have I learned/adopted for myself? And how much of our personal values will our child learn and take forward? I have a sense of growing up ‘knowing’ how to behave when in adult company (not quite sit quietly, but certainly wasn’t running about wild), but how much of that was natural to me and how much was I taught it by my parents?
  
• The world is on fire, literally, and whilst we do our bit and will continue to do so – we don’t eat meat, we reuse, we recycle, we try and be mindful of purchases/deliveries – should I be doing more?
  
• I really really miss being out on my bike. I don’t miss the gym as much, I don’t miss running, of all the exercise options I have, cycling is the one I really miss.
  
• When did I stop watching movies? So many great movies in the last few years and I’ve seen none of them. Need to make time for that, somehow.
  
• I often wonder if all my acquaintances and friends are just better at keeping in touch with other than I am, is it because I don’t reach out that I can feel cut off from them? I always get the sense that they are in touch with each other way more than they are with me. I can’t help but feel it’s my own doing and that I don’t work hard enough to maintain that, but it’s a two way street, right?
  
• This cannot happen to me any time after October, not for a good six months or so, not once the baby is here!
  
• I am lucky to be able to be ill and be cared for and not have to worry about pretty much anything other than taking care of myself and feeling better.
  
• I wonder how much weight I’ve lost? (answer: 2kg).
  
• I’ve not written for my blog for ages, it seems like I just don’t have the inclination any more. I am writing in my journal every day, even if it’s only a few lines, so I’m not worried about it, just curious to see how long this feeling will last.