Category: Life

You’ve heard of coincidences, right? Well sometimes when those coincidences are a little too unbelievable, our family (OK, mostly Mumsy) says they are “spooky”. So it’s safe to say that when I found out the name of our solicitor was Louise, that was just a coincidence, but when her legal assistant is called Linda (my Mum’s name is Lynda), well then, that’s just “spooky”. With me?

Look, this is my mother’s thing, I’m just relaying it.

That said, now and again there are some genuinely weird coincidences that can, and should, be correctly labelled as “spooky” or as I may have uttered on this occasion, “Ohhhhhh spoooooooooky!”.

This is a story of one such occasion.

A couple of weekends ago my family came over to help me move some boxes into my new flat. My Mum and Dad helped a lot but unfortunately my sister was taken very ill that morning but, bless her, she struggled from her sick bed to offer some moral support (and some vomit, which was nice).

Now, it would be unfair of me to suggest that her illness had any relation to the amount of alcohol she had imbibed the night before but I suspect that, and I’ll let the irony of this linger a moment, … it was just coincidence.

I digress.

Frequently.

See, I’m doing it again.

Now, where was I? Ohh yes…

Once we reached the flat and had unloaded both cars we decided to head to Byres Road for lunch. I noted that my sister perked up considerably after a large chicken burger but decided it best not to mention this. As it was a nice afternoon, if a bit brisk of wind, we took a post-prandial, and ended up stopping in on a junk shop I’ve mentioned here before. I bought a mirror, and my Dad, after much huffing and puffing about the place picked up an old car magazine (I think it was printed around 1967).

We departed the junk shop and wandering back to the car I asked my Dad about his purchase. He said it was a little bit of reminiscing on his part and also that he knew a mechanic that would appreciate it and anyway, it was only £2 for a wee trip down memory lane.

As he was telling me this he turned the magazine over to show me the price label and there, written in pencil along the top of the front cover was a name. I presume the magazine had been delivered when first published, or perhaps picked up in the local newsagent by the man who had ordered it, hence why it had a surname written on it.

I do hope that “Mr. McLean” enjoyed reading the magazine when he first received it all those years ago.

Say it with me now, ohhhhhh spoooooooooky!

I have run out of cardboard boxes.

Unfortunately that doesn’t mean that everything is packed, nor does it mean I have to stop moving things around and contemplating how best to pack the big ornamental candle, several bottles of various types of booze and three tea towels.

But it does mean that the house is starting to look like it’s being moved out of.

Which is just as well as on the 5th of October I get the keys to my new flat, and by the 11th of October everything that is left will be loaded into a van (not by me, I hasten to add) and taken to said new flat. There, some of it will form my new ‘home’ and some of it will be stacked in the spare room until such times as Louise gets herself somewhere to live (she has somewhere, but it’s not very big and is only temporary).

Then the usual round of final payments, settling of debts, and a sudden and brief rise in the balance of my bank account which will, all to prematurely, ejaculate itself to various other recipients. A financial bukkake if you will (Mother, do NOT Google that word, and if you do I think it was Keith that told me it, or Stuart.. ).

The 15th of October is the agreed date, but of course it’ll be a few days after that, once my solicitor has finished her faffing around, that I’ll get the remnants of profit from the sale of the house. That goes to some shared debts and a little bit is left over for Louise and I.

And then, that’s it. Separated. And in one calendar year from then (from the 16th of October) we will be divorced. Not quite the type of thing one expects for their birthday but needs must.

Anyway.

I’ll leave you with this, it’s been in my head all day and I thought it only fair that I’d share the joy. Yes it is a YouTube link, no, it’s not Rick Astley (I’ve done that to too many people already, I would like to retain the few friends I have).

I’ve never been to Moscow, but we talk about it all the time at work and, cos I like to plan things and use lists to help me cope with stressful times, like moving from a house to a flat and the splitting up of 14 years accumulated crap, well the topic of Moscow has reared in my brain.

For the most part, the furniture is the main thing that we’ll need to split up or, as is most likely, give away to charity. That’s the thing about co-owning things, they end up being to the taste of neither of you so when it comes down to it we are both of a mind to replace items so we get things that we like.

Over the past few months I’ve visited a few antique and thrift style stores, missing out on a fantastic lamp base made from wooden letterpress blocks, and I’ll do the same once I’ve got somewhere to live sorted out. Understandably this is the top item on my list and it is titled “Get roof over head”. Alongside this item is the letter M.

Which brings us back to Moscow. Or, as some of you will already have figured out, to categorising list items into the Must haves, Should haves, Could haves and Would like to haves.

This way I can make a big list of things that I want to buy and ordered them such that I don’t end up, for example, buying a Mac Mini instead of a bed, or a new set of kitchen knives instead of food.

It’s exciting, making lists. I’ve always enjoyed it but this list has much more gravitas to it, this list is all about me and it’s been a long time since I’ve both taken that view, let alone been able to. So there are such items on the list as a pair of Grado headphones, an M-Audio keyboard, an Eames armchair, as well as a bed, a mattress, a new sofa and a smattering of smaller items (lamps and whatnot).

Not everything is needed, nor will be bought. And everything that is needed won’t be bought immediately either. I’m happy to take my time, and buy items I like and which offer good value (I really don’t want to be buy these things again any time in the next 20 years or more). It’ll also be a challenge, a fun one, to find my own style.

A closing example then. Here is an item that is a Could have on the list. It is a rug that I quite like, and somehow it will have to play alongside something I’ve already purchased. A giant Lego head.

Hmmm, this style thing might take a while to crack.

Maybe I need to start a new list…

Pushing down on me, pushing down on you, no man ask for..

Top tune that. Greatest band in the world, don’t ya know.

So, how’s yer bum for lovebites? As an Irish friend was wont to say.

Remember how I said about the possibility of things getting a little mental and how the next few weeks would just be perfect if we managed to sell the house? How I’m away at a conference for three days, have one website design to finish, and two other clients asking for some new work, not to mention the usual commitments at work (although they can take a hike) and birthdays to remember (I might have to apologise right now Dad, I know you’ll understand), etcetera etcetera etcetera…

Guess what.

A young couple viewed the house, and after a double check of a couple of things and a second viewing they made an offer and, in the style of a certain latin american fruit tycoon, we said YES!

They are first time buyers, already had a sale in place but the seller pulled out earlier this week. Bonus points to us for not having a chain, and having a house that is in ‘walk in’ condition.

Moving date to be agreed but aiming for early October.

So, anyone got any spare boxes? Or wanna come help pack? Or help me find somewhere to live?

Now, if you’ll excuse me for a moment..

YESYESFUCKYESOHFUCKOHGODYESWOOHOOOOOYESFUCKINGETINYES!!!

Ahem. I’m “quite pleased”.

No offer on house. The viewers didn’t get an offer on their property so we are back to square … two, I guess as they are still interested.

Anyway, off to visit the nurse today for a checkup on my blood pressure and to see if the drugs still work (and aren’t destroying my kidneys). I’m thinking my blood pressure might be a teeny tiny ickle bit affected by the whole splitting up/selling house thing…

Still, life goes on. Tonight I’m at an ISTC area group meeting, tomorrow night marks the return of Games Night at work, where we use the big projector and other large screens hooked up to Wiis and XBoxes to, yeah, play games. We also order pizza.

And then on Saturday it’s haircut day, I’ll also be visiting the dental hygienist then off into Glasgow later for food then to watch Scott Pilgrim vs the World! Looking forward to that.

So, life continues.

And, to be honest, aside from the house sale situation, everything is good. We can’t do anything else to make the house sell quicker so no point fretting about that, instead I’m getting out and about more and enjoying every minute.