Fear not, I am a fan of House of Cards so there are no spoilers here, a fair spattering of melodrama perhaps but that’s all mine and, for what it’s worth, I quite enjoy it.
I am easily affected. I take on traits, mannerisms and tropes with no real forethought and file it as part of the continued development of my sense of self.
I am not Francis J. Underwood nor to I ever hope to be.
Yet there is admiration of that character. He is aware of his flaws and has set his own moral compass, living by it, apologising to no-one. He has a long term plan, a vision of where he wants to be and will do whatever it takes to complete that journey. He is not a nice man.
The last few weeks have seen my working hours increase, stress levels rise and (but of course!) my insomnia kick in. The latter helps at times as it means I have more hours in which to get things done but that then destroys any real semblance of a work/life balance. This periods drain me, but this time it has been particularly bad. Something needs to change.
I have tomorrow off (at my bosses insistence) and a long weekend ahead of me to relax and refresh … but part of me wants to push on, that I don’t want to pause, not now. I want to act on my current stresses and tackle them, rid myself of those frustrations, strike while the iron is hot.
It is here I look to Francis J. Underwood and fight my natural disdain of office politics. There is probably no coincidence that, in my current state of mind, House of Cards rings true and very loud. There is a scene which the image in this post alludes to, I won’t spoil it but I feel like Frank seems to at that point as he stands, silently, before voicing his opinion. It’s a tipping point in the storyline. I may be at a tipping point myself.
I am still learning my job, learning the boundaries and limitations but as they start to crystallise I find myself looking around for a hammer, or a machete, I’m not sure if I’m fighting my way through a dense forest of vines or smashing through walls but either way, some things will need to be broken for me to get where I want to be.
Can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.