Month: October 2006

Gift tagging

I’ve mentioned Gifttagging.com before (over on the left), but it’s worth another look as they’ve recently updated the site and added some new functionality plus a little extra ‘polish’.

Best new piece of functionality: If you have a login, you can now “Reserve” an item to save any duplication. This is a half-step towards an open system that would allow anyone, login or not, to “Reserve” items, but I guess they are asking for a login to stop anyone being malicious. One thing I still don’t quite get is that the “Buy This” button doesn’t use the link that is available from the item title… I guess this is part of the business plan, driving revenue through their own associates links? But as some items may be very specific (Threadless gift vouchers for example) then it does seem a bit odd.

However, it’s still a new service so I’m sure these things will be ironed out. Mind you there is a distinct lack of the ubiquitous “BETA” badge for such a “Web 2.0” site (everyone else getting really sick of all this 2.0 stuff? Yeah, me too).

Anyway, just thought I’d mention this.

Today.

What with today being the day that is.

Brrrrrr

Blimey. It’s winter. When did that happen? We had to scrap ice off the windscreen of the car this morning, what the chuff is going on? Must be global warming, or global cooling, or something…

Yesterday morning, as I headed out for a run, there was a low mist hanging over the valley. It was very pictureskew with the mist hanging in threads over the water, with barely a ripple touching the surface as a couple of swans flew low over the water.

Never a camera when you need one.

Someone needs to invent a way of getting these images out of your head into a digital format. Maybe a ‘brain printer’ that you can send specific neurological signals to and which allows you to save the images… somehow or other. Hey, I dunno, it’s not like I’m a brain surgeon or anything…

Questions Answered #2

In a desperate effort to gain some weird form of validation, I stole an idea for a blog post and begged my readers to ask me a question. And they did. The buggers. Now I have to answer them.

Question 2: Alex (a co-worker of mine) makes a statement, or headline, or summat, rather than asking a question. But taking it as a topic title, I’ll have a bash.

Mackerel: an intimate portrait

Their shoaling displays render them stunning flashes of darting slivers, but there are many other reasons why the mackerel remains distinct amongst fish. Whilst they are the only fish that uses an inbuilt ability to locate and seek out transvestites, they are also adept at whipping up a lovely piquante tomato sauce with little to no preparation. Granted these skills have played a large part in their downfall, yet the life of these compact little fish remains fascinating.

Their interest in transvestites becomes apparent from an early age and can lead to violent, and sometimes deadly, ‘territory’ battles. Regardless, these battles remain a stunning sight, one of the most impressive displays in the animal kingdom, as these hugely energetic fish hurl themselves at anything in a feather boa. This fascination remains for the rest of their life and it’s not uncommon for large numbers of them to become hooked on this lifestyle. Literally.

As they grow older the mackerel show an amazing tendency towards group activities, preferring to be in close contact with their kin at all times. With this growth in the group dynamic, their natural tomato sauce preparation skills start to develop, although scientists are still unable to determine the exact method, with the precise quantities and contents of the sauce still a mystery. However, recent studies suggest that the locale may play a large part in determining the particular flavour of the sauce, with everything from a slightly herby sauce as seen in shoals from the Mediterranean, through to spicy hot sauces from shoals found off the coast of Mexico. Each one of these tiny fish can produce enough sauce to sustain itself through the winter months and, when grouped together, the mackerel can often end up literally swimming in the stuff.

Of course, the life of a mackerel isn’t without dangers. There are stories of groups of mackerel losing their way completely, only to be rediscovered when they are well past their best. In this area, ageism is rife and whilst mackerel have a naturally long “shelf-life”, they still suffer, although not as badly as their brethren the tuna. The tuna, in a turn of events that have stunned geneticists around the world, have developed a highly advanced method of mayonnaise and sweetcorn production, however this has had the disastrous effect of rendering their popularity even higher, rather than, as had been hoped, aiding their conservation.

And so, as our story draws to an end, the mackerel, content and nicely marinated, awaits “the key”. The coming of the key signals a noble end for the life of a mackerel, and is accepted and embraced as time turns onward. Mackerel can lie dormant for some months, patiently biding their time until the air rushes in and they take a final headlong plunge onto some hot buttered toast.

The life of a mackerel is at once fascinating, and at times bemusing. To this day, scientists still do not understand their attraction to feathers, nor their ability to produce tomato sauce (for the mackerel have no greenhouses) but they remain a beguiling and beloved member of their natural habit, the larder.

Moving on

Thanks to you all for your thoughts, very much appreciated.

We spent Friday night with Louise’s family, ate too much, drank too much, cried a little, laughed a lot and the cathartic effects are still being felt. Onwards and upwards and all that.

Saturday night was spent at a friends 30th birthday party, with the added great news that he and his wife are now expecting! Yay!

I guess I should insert some kind of “circle of life” comment here but I won’t, I’m just gonna sit here, nibble on some tablet and try not to bite the inside of my cheek again (don’t you hate that? you do it once and then spend the next week or so carefully chewing only to do it again when you least expect. Hurts like buggery too).

Anyway, I’ve still got questions to be answered, number two will be along later.

Hard times

Blogging is not life and my life is not centred around blogging. There are a lot of things that go on that I have never and will never mention on here, but I have to mark today in some way.

One year on and I can still remember the phone call, the panic to try and get flights to Spain, and then the shock when we realised it was too late, she was gone.

I remember more silly details about that day than I care to, but I’m equally happy that I do remember.

I’m not sure I have the words for this.

As I sit here at the computer, and try and compose something meaningful, tears are filling my eyes.

This past week or so has been hard, probably the hardest since Grace passed away, and tomorrow will mark the end of the first year since she left us, since she died.

She is missed, more than I can express and I miss her more than I realise.

Louise is holding on, coping. She’s thoroughly sick of people telling her “it’ll get better” as it’s a lie (see update below). A nicety designed to ease the guilt of the person offering such a paltry and inadequate platitude.

Posting will be light for a few days, I don’t have the energy for this at the moment. Be back next week.

Update: And so, today, things are a little better. The anticipation has outweighed the moment.

Thanks for the comments and emails so far, and yes, I know it’s not a lie, and that it is meant with the best will in the world. I’ll steal from a comment to say that yes I do know that we shouldn’t “… be too hard on the givers of inadequate platitudes. They want to help, but just don’t know what to say.”

And maybe that’s the case with us as well. We don’t know what to say back to them. Somehow “Thanks” doesn’t really cut it. Funny old world this.

Questions Answered #1

In a desperate effort to gain some weird form of validation, I stole an idea for a blog post and begged my readers to ask me a question. And they did. The buggers. Now I have to answer them.

Question 1: Keith (my blogless* mate) asked “4.56 AM or other similar times that should not exist, what to do when you find your self there”.

The first thing to try and figure out is whether that time should, or should not, exist. It’s entirely possible for that specific time (and others like it) to exist in a very pleasant way. For example, and this is just completely off the top of my head, if you were, say, in the back of a stretch limo, supping champagne from the bottle whilst cavorting in a hot tub with a gaggle of supermodels, you might think “this is a pretty good time”, or (perhaps somewhat more realistically) if you were waiting atop Kilimanjaro for the sunrise, those would both be excellent examples of “times that most definitely should exist”. I’d warrant that if the time was 4.55 AM (in either of our scenarios) and as the second hand clicked round onto 12 everything disappeared to revel it’d all been a dream… well I was pis… you’d be pretty pissed off, right?

I digress (and for longer than you realise, although I really shouldn’t admit that I’ve spent the last few minutes figuring out which supermodels I’ve have in the hot tub with me… now, where was I? Ohh yes, why times shouldn’t exist).

Right, let’s presume that you’ve been trying, and failing, to fall asleep.

If that’s the case then anything beyond 2 AM counts as “a time that should not exist” (as do the years 1981-1984 but that’s a different story..) and you are probably wide awake and silently cursing your inability to get to sleep. You probably have to be up in a few hours for something important like a wedding or job interview (work itself doesn’t count), so you’ll be trying like mad to find that comfy spot in the bed so you can “drop off” (odd phrase that, surely dropping off the bed would wake you up?).

Right, so you are wide awake, so the first thing to do if get up out of bed. Let’s make sure your body knows that sleep is nowhere near, as this is stage one in the trick of “falling back asleep” that always seems to work for me (or at the very least MAY work for me as I’m making this all up as I go along, can you tell?). Right, downstairs, put the kettle on and boil the TV.

Done? Excellent.

Having now successfully blacked out the neighbourhood you can go back to bed.

You see, the only reason you are awake is because you are waiting for an alarm to wake you back up. You know that when the alarm goes off it will herald a new day, and possibly an “important event”. So, rather than lie awake, worrying about the alarm and the pending “important event”, this method removes your source of worry (no electricity = no pesky radio DJ screaming in your ear until you bounce the alarm clock off the floor) and you can fall asleep peacefully.

Simple.

If anyone tries this method, do let me know how it goes as, obviously, YMMV**.

Ohh, and on a final note, if you are thinking of trying this method, I’d really appreciate it if you signed and sent me an official waiver or something first. Anything that absolves me of any blame whatsoever would be ideal. Thanks.

Sleep well.


* Doesn’t make him any less of a man though. Mind you, the big chuffers about 6’5 so I’m not ever really that inclined to argue with him or point out any character deficiencies. What do you think am I? Stupid? No, that is not a question I need answered.

** YMMV means “Your mileage may vary”. It’s one of those ‘geek’ abbreviations that a lot of people don’t understand. But hey, if they CBATG, then obviously the PEBCAK.