Tag: Reflections

I have a terrible memory. I am aware of this flaw and rely heavily on a variety of systems to help me cope. The main things that help me remember to Get Shit Done is Google Calendar (should I be somewhere right now?) and a list of things I need to remember to do (what tasks should I be doing next?).

I don’t follow any methodolgy for how I manage my to do list, I’ve read books, articles, and follow various productivity related blogs as I’m always happy to tweak my system but it’s important to note one thing, dear reader, before you continue; This is my system. It works for me. It may not work for you.

Warning: I am totally geeking out on this. Read on at your own peril.

Short version: I use Todoist.

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Some years have many moments, highs and lows, that stick in your mind. Looking back they can define your entire memory of a year. For me, 2013 was no different.

I’m lucky that last year was mostly highs. Glastonbury being the main one centred around an event. A second visit to the legendary festival, Kirsty and I relaxed into the experience much more than in our first visit, and it felt so much more liberating and freeing. We laughed, danced, and lost ourselves in the festival for those brief few days. It took me a few weeks to realise that it had left more of a mark than I realised; dance like no-one is watching.

That said, the moment that mattered the most came when Kirsty and I agreed to try polyamory as a lifestyle. We had discussed, and briefly tried, it in the past but the timing hadn’t been quite right. However, time moves on, we re-assessed where we were and, realising we were happy and secure in our relationship, decided to try again.

When I think back to those discussions I realise how strong, generous and giving Kirsty is and it’s this moment that I want to capture. Whilst I’m now lucky enough to love two wonderful women, and there is more to say on how happy I am Clare is part of my life, given the journey that Kirsty has been through last year, that is the moment to capture, to store away and draw strength from as we all move forward.

It’s already February and the year stretches out in front of us. A year that includes Kirsty, Clare, and Kirsty’s other partner Mark. We are still figuring some things out but each week it gets easier, feels more like who we are, and it all goes back to that moment, that decision. I don’t know what the future holds – it’s already wonderfully different from what I envisaged when we started down this path – but without a doubt, that is the moment that mattered in 2013.

Post prompted by Lori’s Prize Draw, and the desire to look back.

To me, morals are objective, they aren’t governed by distinct rules or laws (there is no black or white) and so I find people who make blanket statements, absolutes that leave only two options, troublesome to the point of aggravating.

Over the last few years I’ve slowly been filtering out as many negative influences as I can from my life. In doing so I’ve started to see a pattern but I’m not quite sure what to call it – I’m sure there is an academic term beyond my ken for what I’m about to try and describe – but the general trend seems to be one of steering away from those with a different sense of morality to mine.

I understand that, at times, you need to be clear on where you stand on something and that the stronger the belief, the clearer the line can be for some. If I’m describing you then please know I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, but many people I’ve met are so vehemently defensive of their position that, it seems, if you aren’t on their side of the line you must be on the other side and so be in complete opposition.

The problem with this approach, statements of absolutes, is that it presumes my position and means any discussion already starts with a bias that I didn’t agree to.

I’m sure you’ve seen this yourself, the “If you don’t agree with this position then you must be agreeing with that one” mindset is what irks me the most as it doesn’t allow me to have my own, separate position; how could it when there are only two positions?

To me there are always blurry lines on most issues and whilst I may not agree with your position on something, and that doesn’t automatically mean I don’t want to hear your views, I have the right to choose my opposition.

Caution required

It’s been somewhat freeing, the slow, gentle cull of Facebook friends, the deliberate disengagement from conversations with people who will only cause me to expand energy. However it’s not without issues.

I’m very wary of being too closed, surrounding myself only with people with similar views and approaches, but for the most part I try and weigh up the emotional effort it takes to keep someone in my life (real or online, both take energy) and it’s only when there is no benefit or upside for me that I step away. There will always be people in my life who aggravate me, upset me or make me angry, I know I can’t get away from that, but those people who do still offer me some other value, often as a balance to my own viewpoints, are the ones I will keep around.

For whatever reason, it feels as if we (the universal we) don’t put enough of an importance on getting our eyes tested on a regular basis. I should know: It’s been at least six years since my previous examination and I’ve actually been thinking about getting them looked at these past few weeks. And in thinking about that, I realized that others will benefit from the research I have done lately in regards to finding out how often I should get my eyes checked, why I should do it, and where I can get it done. Hopefully the facts I have gathered from these trusted resources will assist you in your own personal eyesight endeavours.

When Should My Eyes Be Examined?

The answer to this question really all depends on your personal health, particularly that of your eyes. But according to the Royal National Institute of Blind People, it’s advised that you should get your eyes examined every two years or so. Other sites that I found stated that you could go three to five years, with that time fluctuating based on your age.

However, the National Health Service advises that you may need to take part in them more frequently if you are a child wearing glasses, suffer from diabetes, are at least 40 years of age and have a family history of glaucoma, or if you’re over the age of 70. Should you find yourself in any of those categories, you can actually do the eye exams by yourself or with the help of a friend or family member. Just head over to Acuvue, where you can find several at-home tests and/or schedule one with a nearby optometrist (and, perhaps later, an optician). You’ll also be able to read up on a variety of other topics, including whether or not you’ll want to make the switch to contacts if you’re getting tired of your eyeglasses.

But Why Should They Be Examined?

As for this question, the answer is simple: You want to keep up with your eyes’ health to catch anything early on and/or find out if you need an eyeglasses or contacts prescription/update. Not only that, but you’ll find that your eyes won’t exactly hurt when something is wrong. What this means is that you may have some more significant issues going on that you wouldn’t know about without a proper examination. These include macular degeneration of the eyes, glaucoma, and even diabetes.

But what these exams really give you is peace of mind, especially after you learn just how important they are. As the old adage goes, it’s better to be safe than sorry, so make sure that you’re getting your eyes tested at least every two years—a bit of advice I know that I need to be taking in my own life.

So Where Can I Go?

If you already have glasses or contact lenses, you know the answer to this question: your personal optometrist. But if you have moved and/or haven’t been to an eye doctor in a while, you can start by searching for a local service that can at least get the process started. As mentioned earlier, Acuvue can also help with this task while providing insight into other areas of eyesight care.

Here’s the bottom line: Get your eyes checked on a regularly basis. This may seem like an additional errand that you don’t feel like adding to your to-do list, but it’s pertinent for your health that you do so. And once you get in the habit of it happening every two years or so, you’ll realize how easy (and painless!) it is.

Can’t quite believe that 2013 is almost over. Looking back it’s been a fairly eventful year, but then, it’s every one?

At work I changed roles to do a job I hadn’t done before. It’s been stressful, exciting, and bloody hard work but I’m still glad I took the opportunity. There was some more travel to Sunnyvale but much less than I anticipated.

I also managed to get my running back on track enough to do a 5K, alas things fell away again so I’m looking for a new goal to get me back on track.

Holiday wise I didn’t get away anywhere other than to Glastonbury. It was fantastic, a second year for Kirsty and I, and we were much better prepared and a lot less over-awed by the whole thing than we were in 2012. Some great bands and great experiences, properly gutted that we won’t be there next year.

Speaking of next year, one positive life event was meeting Clare, my other partner. It’s been a whirlwind six months, exploring our poly relationships and finding the balance but things seem to be evening out and it’s looking good for the coming year together.

I don’t do resolutions but I will continue with my desire to simplify my life as much as I can. Decluttering my flat, stepping away from social media more (Facebook will get slimmed down dramatically), and finding time for myself to let me be more of the person I want to be. That means more changes to my lifestyle, aiming to be healthier, read more and all the usual ‘life’ aims that so many people strive for.

I won’t achieve them all next year but as long as I take some steps towards some of them I’ll continue to be happy.

Which is a great way to finish this year. I am happy.