Tag: Blogging

Why I am not quitting Facebook

Sometimes when I’m writing for this blog, it feels like there is a conspiracy going on to make me think about, and write about, a particular topic. So with that in mind I will happily concede that this post was inspired by Lipstick Lori (who is writing some great stuff at the moment!) writing about How I Quit Facebook, Sort Of, my own ponderings around the question of Which Tech Giant Would You Drop?, and this piece by Jason Kottke (uber-blogger) My Social Media Fast.

It’s a slow pull, a subtle trick. It starts with a brief desire and is soon a constant drain. They know what they are doing, they’ve spent a long time designing it to be this way, to game you, to manipulate you, and as it gets larger and larger so it becomes harder and harder to fight.

My Facebook account currently gets the most usage of all my social media accounts. Granted a lot of the things I post are pushed from Instagram, but more and more I will share things into my timeline from elsewhere on Facebook, trapped in the bubble. I find myself idlly scrolling through post after post after post, hardly pausing to digest, a stream of stuff that amuses, annoys, adds to the FOMO, or makes me smile.

I do not like the amount of time I spend using Facebook.

I have books I want to read, TV shows I want to watch, and on sunny days I want to disconnect and enjoying being alive and being present with myself.

I did manage to wean myself off Facebook pretty well a while ago, right up until my niece was born; my sister posts pictures and videos of her almost every day, and oh my heavens she is as cute as a button and fills my heart with joy and love and that gorgeous little thing was the gateway, the lure back into the Facebook universe. I tried to tell myself I was only gonna check it to see if there was anything about her, you know just a little bit now and then, and then I could totally give it up later. Yes, that’s right, I’m blaming my Facebook addiction on my 1 year old niece, what of it!

I have tried to maintain some level of discipline. I had previously uninstalled the app but it’s snuck back on to my phone now BUT – and this is an important BUT – it sits deliberately in a folder on the second screen, right next to its time-sucking sister Twitterific. The thinking was that would remove the urge to ‘just have a quick look’ and for the most part it’s starting to work, which is just as well.

I know what some of you might be thinking, social media is fun! So say the adverts at least, but as always there is a deeper, unadvertised, cost.

There are many meme-able acronyms that surround Facebook; but it is the Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) being the one I most associate with it, after all it’s so obvious that everyone ELSE is leading lives far richer than mine and whilst seeing people I care about having a good time is totally awesome and happy making, it can be not to compare and contrast; my lonely sofa to the photos of an afternoon out, all laughter and spilled drinks. And there’s the rub, the mixture of joy and sadness, happiness and melancholy.

And yes, I am well aware that social media is a but a filter, and the most people post the best of themselves, not the worst, but having that knowledge and sensibly processing that knowledge are two very different things. And that’s before you consider that I do this as well, contributing to the very problem I’m trying to avoid. Ironic, isn’t it? (shut up Alanis).

I honestly do love reading, seeing, and hearing, the wonderful things my friends and acquaintances get up to. You lot (I’m presuming, dear reader, that we are connected on some platform or another) are wonderful, quirky, funny, thought provoking, attractive, heart warming, caring and just down right good peoples. But, as Lori points out, that comes at an emotional cost. It’s not always a negative sum game, but emotions need to be processed regardless and it can be tiring.

I’m not completely away from Facebook or Twitter, but it feels more manageable. Instagram remains front and centre though, as I find it so much easier to scroll photos than dodge the diatribes, crap adverts, and all the other noise that Facebook adds.

The flipside to all of this, for there is always a flipside, is that I will have fewer chances to see things that others post. Fewer chances to like or comment on their achievements, fewer chances to laugh with them (or at them if the moment warrants). And to all those people I wanted to echo the sentiment of a wonderful message I recently received (the irony (again!) of having received this message on yet another social platform is not lost on me).

I enjoy seeing what you post, and I see you around on various social media channels. I may not like or comment as often but I see you, and I care about you.*

There is joy to be found in social media, and for me that joy and delight has been found in the connections it has allowed me to make, I have met people I genuinely call friends (for they are not acquaintances) thanks to social media, and there is no doubt that it’s very useful for keeping in touch, however remotely, with many people.

For those connections, those new friendships that I wouldn’t have made any other way, I will always be grateful to social media (ht: this blog of mine which started it all for me) and I can’t see a time when some form of social media or another won’t have a place in my life. It’s just not on my homescreen.

* the person who sent this knows, but wanted to call this out again, it was a simple message that had a big impact on me, and gave me something to strive for in my interactions with others, to make them meaningful, not just another LIKE.

May 23, 2017

Weltschmerz

I think English needs new words or, at the very least, some words that exist in other languages need to be adopted. As an example, look to schadenfraude.

Schadenfreude is defined as “pleasure derived from the misfortune of others. Borrowed from German into English and several other languages, it is a feeling of joy that comes from seeing or hearing about another person’s troubles or failures. It is similar in meaning to the English term “gloating”, an expression of pleasure or self-satisfaction at one’s own success or another’s failure”

Which isn’t very nice but we’ve all done it, even in its mildest form, the comedy of the pratfall, the banana skin slip, brings an element of schadenfraude. It’s maybe not a word that everyone who speaks English knows, but a lot of us have at least heard of it in passing.

Given how 2016 has gone (no, it’s not the worst year ever, but a lot of crappy stuff has happened), perhaps Weltschmerz is likely to be the next.

Weltschmerz is an emotion, described thusly “The world isnā€™t perfect. More often than not it fails to live up to what we wish it was. Weltschmerz describes the pain we feel at this discrepancy.”

Which seems to about sum up most of my emotions over the past few months. The world COULD be so much better, but it isn’t, and that hurts.

Mind you, shortly on the heels of Weltschmerz we should probably just be describing everything as Kuddelmuddel, which describes an unstructured mess, chaos, or hodgepodge, as that’s certainly how things feel most of the time (or is that just me?).

That said, I’ve yet to find a word in any language that describes the annoyance you feel when, as you are walking along a quiet road with no vehicles passing you for most of your walk, that it’s only when you get to the corner that a car appears and so you have to stop and let it pass. This happens at least 2 or 3 times a week. Or, again, is that just me?

Language always evolves, that’s why it remains an important piece of our culture and whilst I think we could maybe do with adopting some new words into the English language, perhaps the very fact we might need them is the key lesson here.

Personally I’d much rather I didn’t have to feel weltschmerz in the first place.

More here: http://www.fluentu.com/german/blog/weird-german-words-vocabulary/

P.S. I’m pretty sure I’ve butchered all sorts of rules in that last sentence. I’m sorry!

December 14, 2016

10 Reasons my blog isn’t popular

  1. My version of ’10 Productivity Tips’ would be ‘pick a system and use it, stop wasting time picking a system, most people just need a list of things that need done that day’.

  2. I write about me. My thoughts, my life. Narcissism central round here.

  3. I don’t stick to one topic. When I’m not writing about me, I write about software I use, or movies, and by god I write about writing a lot of the time. Essentially this blog is a censored diary that I happen to publish on the internet.

  4. I don’t actually know WHY I keep doing this, and so I plod on just posting stuff to have stuff posted.

  5. I don’t post amazing examples of photography.

  6. I don’t (anymore) post reviews of gigs, or books, or movies.

  7. I rarely write about things that might be useful to others – Todoist, Podcasts, iTunes stuttering etc.

  8. I create blog posts that are just lists in an effort to pad things out.

  9. More reasons I can’t really be arsed to figure out at the moment.

  10. There is no number 10, didn’t you read number 9?

I’m sure there are other reasons, but that’s all I could come up with.

June 8, 2016

16 years of thanks

16 years is a long time and I’ll admit I’ve been looking back at the history of this blog, reading old posts and finding that it’s a fairly accurate depiction of my own journey. Obvious, I know, but given that there is so much I don’t write about, the blog posts I have published act as a signpost for my memory.

It has sparked further contemplation about my past and, on the whole, it’s been a positive experience to revisit the links and connections I’ve made throughout my life that still hold true today. They are few, but they are strong.

I’m forgetful and can be a little too focused on moving forward, looking ahead and making plans. I’m also not blessed with much sentimentality, although I can be a bit of a sop at times, so tend to lose sight of emotional connections and the value I gain from having other people in my life.

I can generalise this even further; life for me is typically about what’s happening next, not looking back at the what ifs.

But the past is what it is and I acknowledge that without it I wouldn’t be who I am today. That said,Ā Ā as time goes onĀ I naturally find myself distanced from the painful times, and I feel like I am finally comfortable that what lies behind me isn’t shaping the path ahead. I am not beholden to the dark clouds of my history.

Sometimes it’s good to pause, to look around at where you are, live life in the present, and as I look at my life today I realise just how lucky I am, and I have a lot of people to thank for that.

This post is a thank you to all of the following, who are listed chronologically purely because it’s the only fair way to do it. They’ve all meant more to me than I’ve probably told them (something I have gotten better at but I still need to work on).

First up, my parents for bringing me up to learn, to challenge, to be tolerant and challenge prejudice. For helping me when I needed it and for always being supportive, understanding and caring. It’s only now, as I approach middle-age (I’m in denial, shut up) that I realise how blessed I was to have them as parents…

…then they went and brought my sister into the world. I’m massively over-protective of herĀ and in return she keeps me grounded just by being her wonderful, caring, ditzy self. We have many attributes alike and as we both get older it feels like we are growing closer, mostly because we are realising that we aren’t that much different fromĀ our parents and can revert to our childhood relationship in the blink of an eye. Hey, I’m a big brother, I’m SUPPOSED to wind her up!

My ex-wife Louise is next; I’ve known her for half my life and when we were together we experienced wonderful highs and brutally crushing lows. From her I learned the values of family and patience, and how to properly load a dishwasher (in-joke). Part of me remains sad it didn’t work out but I am glad we parted on good terms and remain friends to this day.

Speaking of friends – Stuart, Keith, Ian and William are mine – a constant source of laughter, support, ridicule, and beer. Our shared history grows richer even though we don’t see enough of each other. I take great comfort that whenever we are together, nothing really changes. They are my brothers, through thick and thin.

My girlfriend Kirsty. Part of me wishes I’d met her sooner. Despite only being together for a few years it feels like we’ve journeyed so so far. She has helped me get to know the real me, challenged me to be better, held me when I failed, and allowed me to support her and be part of her life. She is more amazing than she ever seems to realise and continues to surprise me. I know I wouldn’t be as happy as I am today without her.

My girlfriend Clare. When we first met I think both of us were a little caught out by how easy it seemed to be, how quickly we clicked. We may only have been together for a couple of years (almost) but she has helped me understand and embrace parts of my personality that I didn’t fully appreciate. I am lucky to be a part of her life.

And finally, but certainly not least, YOU dear reader.

I’ve made many friends in the 16 years I’ve been blogging, connections transferred from blogcircles to twitter, through blogmeets to weddings and beyond. I feel very lucky to still be in touch with so many people who all came together because of this strange hobby on the wonderfully weird world of the web.

Thank you, thank you, thank you all. I know I wouldn’t be me, without you.

I’ll stop now as I appear to have some dust or something in my eye…

June 3, 2015

16 years old

Every year this gets a bit scarier to admit.

16 years ago the internet was a small place, hand crafted HTML ruled the waves, and the surf was more a gentle swell than the tsunamis we now have to negotiate whenever we dip our toes.

Even now I’m still not sure how much of this hobby is vanity, how much is curiosity, how much is a desire for validation, nor how much it’s just because I can. It’s never been a focus, and that’s probably why I still do it.

I published my first piece of writing 16 years ago today.

That means, in the UK, my blog can now, in no particular order:

  • Drink beer or cider with a meal in a pub or hotel, but still canā€™t buy it.
  • Fly a glider.
  • Have sex, gay or straight, as long as the other blog is also 16+.
  • Join the armed forces.
  • Earn the minimum wage.
  • Choose a doctor.
  • Get married (with parental consent).

All of which is really, really weird.

June 2, 2015

Not my blog

When I first started writing short articles I had no real plan. At the time I was inspired by reading the things that others were publishing, it was early 1999 and personal websites were slowly on the rise.

Reading those words, with the slow realisation that I could do it too, seemed like a new and exciting thing. There werenā€™t that many people doing it at that time (Iā€™d guess at a number in the thousands) so there was a sense of being at the beginning of something, pioneering, blazing the way.

That may sound a little hyperbolic but remember that the internet, the world wide web, was still very much a shiny new thing full of possibilities and no-one really knew what it would become. Some would argue we still donā€™t. Others would then point out that that is exactly the point. Then someone else will jump in with a photo of a kitten. I digress.

Looking at the first few things I published I can see that they were more articles than diary entries. Sure, they arenā€™t particularly well written but they were my words, available on the internet for others to read. It was scary and exciting.

At the time my entire website was in hand coded HTML (using Allaire/MacromediaĀ Homesite) and within the first few months of self-publishing I soon found myself looking for ways to make it easier to do, I had to find a way that would let me concentrate on the writing rather than the construction and maintenance of all the surrounding paraphernalia that a website demands.

Ahhh hand-coded menus and permalinks, how I do not miss thee.

Then along came a publishing tool called Blogger, and everything changed, but that story has been told.

Since then I guess itā€™s safe to say Iā€™ve mostly continued in a similar vein. Iā€™ve used a publishing platform (currently WordPress), tinkered with it at times, but more and more Iā€™ve gone back to my roots and pushed to find ways that let me focus moreĀ about the words than the website.

Matt Gemmell recently wroteĀ in a piece that sparked this one (ht: IanD):

Whatever your blog is, and the term is so fluid as to be unhelpful at best and trivialising at worst, itā€™s something. The first thing you ought to do is give yourself the respect you deserve. Publishing your words online can be a daunting, exposing, soul-baring experience – I know. Iā€™m still haunted by self-doubt before sharing certain pieces with the world. But I do believe that those pieces have value.

Which neatly encapsulates my view of this website and why I have it. From time to time Iā€™ve struggled with the self-doubt he mentions, and over the last 15 years Iā€™ve watched other people find a niche and become very successful publishing their own content but thatā€™s never really been what I wanted to do. I tried it for a while on another blogĀ but once my focus changed it was hard to maintain.

This website remains as it began, a place for me to publish things I write and that have value to me, right now I don’t really have the desire for it to be anything more than that.

And, for the record, Iā€™ve never really liked the word ā€˜blogā€™ anyway.

March 26, 2015