Shorter posts, links, or thoughts. No schedule, not heavily considered.
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Depression
It feels odd to discuss it after almost a year. It was a strange period of my life. My overall memory was of a feeling of numbness, that nothing was really happening, that I was stuck in a weird dream. I could hear myself talking, saying horrible, horrible things but it didn’t seem like me.…
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Plans
Planning for the future is an eternal habit, ‘I will lose weight’ ‘I will sort out our finances’ ‘I will exercise more’ ‘I will get myself better organised’. Never works though, does it? I’ve had plenty of ‘fresh starts‘, ample opportunity to take control of my life properly, instead of ambling along with the same…
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Detached
Sometimes at night the darkness and silence weighs on me. Peace frightens me. Perhaps I fear it most of all. I feel it’s only a facade, hiding the face of hell. I think of what’s in store for my children tomorrow; “The world will be wonderful”, they say; but from whose viewpoint? We need to…
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Silence
“Hello, darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk to you again.” 20 July 1969 : Apollo 11 : Tranquility Base – “A small step for man…“ A defining moment in many lives (not least messrs, Armstrong, Aldrin, and Collins), man had made it to the moon. Each astronaut on the mission new the risks,…
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Courage
Human courage in extreme situations continually astounds. I recently heard about a Vietnam documentary which looked at the story of several American soldiers who were captured by the VietCong. They were locked in separate cells, and no communication was allowed. At one point in the documentary one of the soldiers, sitting calmly in a chair,…
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Four
“The hurt of lost, the longing of one, the distance from those, the untouchable.” Four lines. Many meanings. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I wrote those four lines a long time ago, I think I was about 17 or 18, vaguely around one of the times I split up with Louise (which as certain people know,…
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Silly
Silly adj : lacking seriousness; given to frivolity; “a dizzy blonde”; “light-headed teenagers”; “silly giggles” [syn: airheaded, dizzy, empty-headed, featherbrained, giddy, light-headed] Love can be defined as silliness. I don’t mean silliness as in daftness (although the border between the two is very blurred), I mean silliness as in the daft (see!) little things we…
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Bang II
Another shooting in the U.S. The outrage, the shock, the pain. Swiftly followed by the insight, the analysis, the reason. Apathy? Is that what it is? Or an inherent numbness to the horrors? The same arguments against will be countered with the same arguments for, and in a week or so it will all be…
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Change
Many things in life are prone to change, many for better, some for worse, but all for a reason. Change has been a big feature in my life for the last 4 or 5 years. Louise and I have moved to our 7th flat together (in about 5 years), with one more move planned after…
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Bang
The world is shrinking, so my next comments aren’t as misplaced as they seem, is that an excuse? Yet another shooting in America. Yet more calls for tighter controls, or complete bans. More arguments about free speech, and the right to bear arms (bare arms?). “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people“ How stupidly small-minded,…
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Attraction
“You’ll like her, she has amazing eyes” Attraction is not a static, well, not entirely, and it comes in various states: attraction to beauty attraction to personality attraction to lust attraction to like attraction to opposite and many more. Most people single out a few characteristics, for me it’s eyes. There is something bewitching about…
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Need
“Why do you need a website?“ OK, how do you answer that? “Well everyone else has one…” “Oh, and if everyone jumped off the Erskine Bridge, you’d follow them?“ “Because it’s cool…” (which it isn’t, so don’t ever use this answer) “You think so? it just means you can’t get a real life“ And so…
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Sunglasses
Research has proven that wearing sunglasses boosts your ego. No…really, a British study by Dr. Glenn Wilson, a psychologist at the University of London, reports that measurable psychological benefits can be gained from wearing sunglasses. But is it really so? I think Dr.Wilson is looking to deep into the matter and suffering from ‘can’t-see-the-wood-for-all-these-damn-trees’ syndrome.…