The dusty, decrepit past slides out of view as a brighter, fresher, more inviting future beckons you over the horizon. So is the story the New Year likes to tell, a narrative that talks of new beginnings, better versions of yourself,
I know, it’s just the earth moving around the sun, but that doesn’t stop the long held notion of a year coming to an end, and a new one stretching out in front of us. Old versus new, with all the implications that those words hold.
It’s safe to say it hasn’t been the best year, especially as my brain insists on (rightfully) pulling the last few months of 2024 into the same period of time.
A recap then, before I move onto happier thoughts; October 2024 we had to put our girl dog down, November 2024 my Mum died unexpectedly, her funeral that December put a darker shade on Christmas last year (other events too but that was the main one), in February of this year my younger sister died, and in June my best friend’s husband died after a long battle with cancer.
Of course there were highlights and wonderful memories as well but it was hard to shake my grief and it felt like a constant presence hovering behind me for most of the year, thankfully it didn’t spoil things but did at times leave a bittersweet taste; I sat alone on the sand dunes on Mull, watching yet another stunning sunset develop, realising I wouldn’t be able to share the beauty with my sister, or my Mum and Dad.
I have cried often this past year. Sometimes unexpectedly, sometimes silently, sometimes with that raw, painful, intensity that I haven’t experienced at any other time. I know grief isn’t time bound, but it does ease as time passes.
Looking back, what struck me most was the love and support I’ve had from so many people. I am not one who goes looking for it but having my closest friends reaching out to me, checking in on me and Becca, made me realise how lucky I am. I knew all this of course, but it’s easy to take these things for granted, swept up in the week to week activities and catchups and updates, where it’s easier to chat about everyday things than delve into darker emotional times.
They brought light into my life when I needed it most, laughter when required, and a quiet acceptance of how I was – whilst I don’t think my attitude and nature was all that different, I’m sure the changes in me were evident to those who know me well – I would not have gotten through this past year without them, without Becca, without Jack.
And if ever there was bright shining star to keep me focussed on the future and all the joy, love, and happiness it will bring, it’s my wonderful wife and beautiful son.
I was out a gig recently, my first in a year, and I was discussing previous gig that my friend Andi and I had attended together, so many great nights and, for a while, I was almost at a gig (or more) every month. Naturally that has tapered off since the birth of my son, as I want to be present for him and Becca, I want to be a good husband, a loving father, and it struck me last night how much I missed them, missed the bedtime routine with Jack, missed just hanging out with them.
They both make me happy, content, and I feel so much love for them that it’s all I really need. I am not going to predict if next year will be good or bad, but I am looking forward to another year of making memories for Jack, of watching him flourish and grow, and of supporting Becca as she’s start another journey herself into a new career.
I am very lucky, very privileged to be able to look forward to 2026 with one key thing in my mind.
Hope.
It can be hard at this time of year (I know I’ve a mix of excitement and dread building as we barrel towards Christmas) so if anyone here needs an ear, a moan, a distraction, please reach out. If not to me, there are charities who will support you.
📞 24/7 / Immediate Support
* Samaritans – emotional support any time you need to talk
📍 116 123 (freephone, 24/7/365)
Email: jo@samaritans.org
(Also a Welsh Language line: 0808 164 0123, 7 pm–11 pm)
* SHOUT – 24/7 crisis text support (if you prefer texting)
📍 Text “SHOUT” to 85258 for free, confidential text support.
📞 Charity Phone Lines (Support, Listening & Signposting)
* Mind – national mental health charity offering support, information & signposting
📍 0300 102 1234 (support line, Mon–Fri, 9 am–6 pm)
* SANEline – emotional support and information
📍 0300 304 7000 (daily, usually late afternoon–evening)
* CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) – support for anyone feeling down or suicidal
📍 0800 58 58 58 (daily, 5 pm–midnight) including webchat support.
🧑🎓 Support for Young People
* The Mix – mental health support for under 25s
📍 0808 808 4994 (freeline; open daily with varied hours)
Text support via the same Shout/85258 mechanism tailored for youth.
* Childline – for anyone under 19
📍 0800 1111 (free, 24/7) with online chat counsellors.
* Papyrus (HOPElineUK) – suicide prevention for young people and those worried about them
📍 0800 068 4141 (daily, 9 am–midnight)
📌 Additional Useful Support Lines
* Switchboard LGBT+ Support – listening and information
📍 0800 0119 100 (call/text/email)
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