Year: 2013

Can't I stay here today?

Can't I stay here today?

Was totally serious! #ILOVEPOTATOES

Was totally serious! #ILOVEPOTATOES

Stop picking on me

Well that was the weekend, definitely one of THOSE weekends where you wonder, what did I do wrong?

It started on Friday evening when I lied to myself. I pushed the inevitable away, told myself it wasn’t happening and grasped denial by the lapels and screamed “help me, please, not tonight!”.

But my screaming was in vain, the migraine was settling in for the night and I knew, eventually, that there was nothing I could do to stop it. There never is.

And so it came to pass that, bar a short period of awakeness for more pills and some water, I slept for almost 12 hours. Not that impressive but considering there were two (giggling) ladies in my flat getting ready for a night out, who then went out and came back in at 3am, and I still managed to sleep through all of it!

Saturday was a little better. Out to lunch with the aforementioned ladies which was good, but after dropping them off I headed home feeling queasy and so that was my Saturday evening and most of my Sunday. Stuck on the sofa, a pathetic lump.

I stirred briefly that evening and, in an attempt to eat healthily, I decided to have some avocado and managed to cut my thumb. Not too badly but enough to be annoying.

And then on Sunday, just to add to the fun, I managed to split open my little toe by badly stubbing it on my exercise bike; given that I had planned to take my actual bike out for a cycle but decided not to as I wasn’t feeling great, the irony was not lost on me.

So, whilst nothing particularly bad happened, it did seem that the world was ganging up on me.

Mini-work Gordon

Mini-work Gordon

iOS7 is pretty

iOS7 is pretty

My nonmonogamy

Written in response to the monthly theme onΒ Poly Means Many: Types of Nonmonogamy

I’m not big on definitions and labels, and as I’m still new to the concept of non-monogamy itself (he said, neatly avoiding having to label my own relationship type for the moment) all of the terminology around this lifestyle is something that I’m still getting my head around.

However, whilst my preference is to try and avoid applying labels I understand that they help communicate the construct, status, or hierarchy of a relationship to other people. Mind you that presumes that anyone that I’m discussing my relationships with knows what each specific label means and, for the most part, that isn’t the case. So I find myself trying to come up with a workable, easily understood, description.

I’m trying to take a wider (higher level?) view which allows me not to have to define specifics nor worry about which box I fit in, or which label applies.

The facts of my current relationships are thus; I have two girlfriends, both of with I have amorous feelings towards. They have their own (non-romantic) relationship with each other, and one of them has another boyfriend.

The boundaries of each individual relationship are understood but as yet are not completely rigid. We all understand that these things may change over time, that life is not static and the emotions may change over time. I am steering away from such terms as primary and secondary, as I’m not sure they apply (other than in terms of time spent with one partner or another) and may cause more harm than good.

Of course, at present we still have the benefit of all of this being ‘new’ to us all. That fact drives a lot of the discussions, revelations and agreements, so it’s safe to say that our relationships are still evolving.

Fundamentally, I believe I am capable of loving more than one person at a time, and that my feelings for one partner don’t diminish my feelings for another (oddly it seems to enhance them instead, still trying to figure that out).

When my initial partner and I originally discussed trying an open relationship, we realised we were definitely aware of the idea of polyamory, of loving two (or more) people and if that’s where the new relationships ended up then we would figure things out when the time came. If the relationships didn’t pan out that way then we’d simply be in a different situation emotionally, but still have to talk, understand and agree boundaries with respect to that form of non-monogamy.

In short: I am an ethical non-monogamist and at present I have two loving relationships.

Simple enough.