Despite having been blogging for some years now, I still put myself under some weird pressure to post every day or so and as such I have developed a dance I like to call the “Start Stop two-step”.
It’s quite simple and I’m sure many my fellow bloggers have mastered it already, but if you are new to the world of ballroom dancing then here are some instructions.
Gentlemen, prepare the floor to ensure your partner doesn’t slip or trip. Ladies (or Gentlemen dance partners) whilst you are waiting it is customary to prepare some post-dance refreshments, a stiff gin, a cold beer, or perhaps big mug of tea. Whatever tickles your wotsit.
Floor preparation is crucial, and you really shouldn’t rush this stage, so make sure you have an Idea ready, as well as an empty place into which the Idea will flow as you smoothly spin and twirl across the dancefloor.
OK, we are ready to begin. Please assume the position, elbows slightly bent, fingers hovering over the keyboard. Take a deep breath, don’t rush, and don’t worry if you falter at first, one of the fundamental reasons for this dance is to help you overcome your nerves and focus your brain.
Ready? Start typing, don’t pause if you lose your bearings or your Idea suddenly disappears, it will return eventually. Instead let your fingers alight gently on each key, deftly picking at the threads of your Idea, helping it to spiral across the dancefloor until it lands, sated and breathless on tiptoes.
Or, you know, you could just come up with a really crap metaphor to try and explain why you are struggling to focus on your writing. That may be easier.
(note to self: when choosing a metaphor, pick a subject you know something about… )
I appear to be barely making once a month these days.
And being fed mental images of other bloggers naked doesn’t help one bit, thankyouverymuch.
My dearest darling Jack, we’ve already DONE me naked… remember? (ohh don’t tell me I need to post the photo AGAIN).
Oh jeez, we’re not going down the naked route again are we? This could get messy.
(It seems that everything I touch these days is all about The Naked. What in God’s name is going on???)
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