How not to blog

1. I was going to blog about the cheque I just put into the bank but that’ll just lead to a moan about how skint we are (and will be for some time) and I can’t be arsed with that.

2. I was going to blog about the holiday weekend but I didn’t have any holidays and that’ll just lead to a moan about how I need a break but can’t take one at the moment (next week, next week…).

3. I could blog about our plans for the garden this year, but they are dependant on money … see point 1.

4. I want to blog about web design stuff but as one client is still under wraps, and I’ve yet to get back to another (tonight!) I’m kinda kiboshed on that front.

5. I would like to blog about something interesting, an event or circumstance, alas none have happened to me and I’m not in the habit of just making stuff up (I’m sure some bloggers are, and more power to them for having the ability to do so).

6. I want to post about my Personal DNA test results but they are a little too insightful and one must try and maintain at least an air of intrigue, mustn’t one.

7. One needs to figure out why one has lapsed into the “Queen’s English”.

8. I wonder if “lapsed” is correct.

9. I pause, scared that this post will be seen as the excuse of a mockery of a sham that it is.

10. I wonder if, like Anna, I too should ask for donations… see point 1.

11. I need to win the lottery.

12. I don’t want this to be another introspective post, looking at how crappy things are when I’m really quite lucky.

13. I fear it may be too late.

14. I’ve been doing this for over six years, see point 10.

15. I don’t want this to seem like a plea for validation.

16. I think it might be just that though.

17. I know that is not what I intended this post to be, but I lack the wit and insight of others. That makes me sad sometimes. Other times I’m happy with my lot, today is obviously not one of those days.

18. I want to work in a zoo. Or maybe I just want to work in a different environment.

19. People think I’m joking (see point 18).

20. This seems like a good place to stop, if I don’t I’m going to end up waffling on for ages, and believe it or not I dislike the navel-gazing aspect of myself yet sometimes it’s all you can see, buried underneath mountains of lint.

21. I’m never going to get that newspaper column writing this tosh.