I’m fat. There is no denying it. I’m easily four stone over weight (56lbs or ~25.5kgs). It’s something I’m both constantly thinking about and constantly not caring about, all at once.

Society deems me to be imperfect. I do not conform. I am a freak. An outcast. Someone to be looked at with a mixture of derision and sympathy.

“Ohh look a fat person, how can they let that happen to themselves? Must be hard for him to get clothes to fit, I mean look at that beer belly… ugh”

For the record I weigh 17st, 10lb. That seems to be a constant weight for me, and being 6′ tall I can get away with carrying a little extra. I’ve lost weight in the past, I was down to 16st 2lb at one point then fell off the wagon and shot straight back up.

Sometimes I hear people excusing their weight, saying things like “If we were meant to be thin, God would’ve made sweet things slimming” or “It’s not a problem for Dawn French” (sorry Dawn, I’m sure you are royally fedup being the spokesperson for us fatties, and I know there is infinitely more to you than your weight). It sickens me that does. There is no REAL excuse for being fat, is there. Just need to control my diet better, exercise more (at all) and have the willpower to say no.

Now, I have the willpower to refuse a drink when I’m out in the pub, I can be as stubborn as the next donkey when I want to be, but that’s just me fighting against peer pressure (a pet peeve), unfortunately when I’m at home, bored and watching TV, there isn’t a group of my peers standing next to the kitchen cupboards saying:

“Go on, have a packet of crisps.. better still have three! Go on, you know you want to, come on, just one to start… at least one, one won’t hurt, will it?”

No, those annoying bastards are no where in sight whilst I devour a big bag of Revels, or have an entire tub of Ben & Jerry’s to myself.

Thing is, and I think I can generalise a bit here, us fatties KNOW what’s bad for us, we KNOW that eating an entire multi-pack of Wotsits isn’t good. We KNOW that we should have a lean stir fry instead of pizza. We KNOW that a bag of chips makes up our entire calorie quota for the day. We are not thick. We are not stupid. We must be self-destructive for a reason. Right?

Or we might, just might, be happy within ourselves. Sure we know we run an increased risk of heart disease and all that jazz, but mostly we are willing to take the risk. Same as you smokers. You all know that’s bad for you, right? So why do you keep doing it? Ohh and don’t give me that “it’s an addiction” speil, food is as addictive as nicotine. At least MY addiction doesn’t waft over.. no no.. I’m talking about being fat. Stick to the topic.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it. The stigma of being fat, the public perception and social impact of being overweight, is a much larger issue and one which the individual finds much harder to deal with. Just think about what you hear when people in the media are talking about fat people. It’s almost accepted that fat people are there to be mistreated, degraded and ridiculed, and that we all need to hear, again, how to slim down and conform.

Has it ever occurred to people that us fatties are actually kinda pissed off that we don’t conform? No, the discussion is always about changing us, rather than having society change to adopt us.

But that’s not unique either, fat, black, gay, muslim and all the other shades of grey, the rule is for US to conform. What kind of society is that to live in?

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Long time blogger, Father of Jack, geek of many things, random photographer and writer of nonsense.

Doing my best to find a balance.

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[…] January 14, 2009 ~ I am fat (no, it’s not a photo you sickos, just a link to a previous post on this very […]

yes, people choose to continue their bad habits even if they know the risks. this doesn’t mean people must accept you for that. they’re still bad habits. for example, smokers continue to smoke while knowing it’s unhealthy, and potential partners or friends may see this smoker and decide they don’t want to date this person or become friends with them based on their smoking habit. it’s the same thing with obese people. you want people to accept you, but you also must accept that humans are attracted to others who can help them improve themselves, boost their status, or (in a relationship) produce healthy, genetically superior offspring. alcoholics, people with mental handicaps, or (gasp) obese people often don’t fit this bill. if that case of soda is more important to you than people’s perceptions, then it looks like you’ve really made your own choice here.

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