Mr.Sevitz writes about plane boarding etiquette, or something like that, and reminds me of my own set of rules:
When boarding a plane
1. If it’s fixed seating. What’s the rush?
2. If it’s not fixed seating. What’s the rush? You are travelling economy and ALL the seats are as cramped as the next.
When leaving the plane
1. The baggage handlers need to unload ALL the bags, not just yours. Dashing off the plane is pointless.
Now, if you choose to follow these rules you will be able to join a very particular club. Well, when I say club, I mean clique. Well… when I say clique I mean a loose understanding of shared principles.
You see I’m not the only one who thinks this way, and I just love that moment when I slowly rise from my chair, looking round to see who else is left and catch the eye of a fellow ‘patient traveller’ (PT). As we both reach up, unobstructed, for our hand luggage we share a quick glance and a shared message “Those fools”. A flicker of a smile and we are back to being complete strangers again.
Occasionally you can repeat that moment as you saunter over to the baggage carousel casually weaving through the assembled and agitated crowd, willing their bag to be next, deftly plucking your bags from the tracks and extracting yourself from the melee. Typically you emerge alongside a fellow PT and can again marvel at your combined brilliance.. er.. hmmmm.
OK, I’m overstating a tad but you get my point. You are all idiots and I’m wonderful.