It’s annoying sometimes, isn’t it – the way you want to do so much, but seem incapable of doing any of it. I annoy myself constantly, and catch myself frequently promising things I can’t deliver. Regular updates to this site for one! (but hey, I never promised that…did I?)
It relates back to plans and promises, and seems an endless circle. Each time I promise anything I get two, sometimes three, steps into it, and stop. I’ll spend less time on the PC – two weeks later I’m back to the usual 1 a.m. stints. I’ll go the gym…tomorrow…I’ll get better organised..well actually that ones not going too badly.
The main thing I have to learn, I think, is to realise who am I, what I am like, and stop trying to adjust. Compromise is one thing, and there is a fineline between the two. At the moment, the way I’m thinking, a compromise isn’t too bad, but I’m beginning to despise trying to adjust.
I kicked off the new year in fine style – ready to go, bubbling over with enthusiasm. Now I’m back round again, back to that familiar place. Exercise would help, it helps clear the mind, but I haven’t gone to T’ai Chi, nor found basketball. The gym at my work mocks me as I walk past it, everyday.
I know by this time next week I will be getting annoyed at myself again, and once it has built up enough, I will do SomeTHiNG about it. Why do I have to wait? That is the one thing, the question I return to. Why do I wait?
I know I’m lazy, but then, it depends on the task at hand. I was once told (OK, often told) that “We all have to do things we don’t like doing” and the REALLY annoying thing is that I agree. I know that, yet I can’t seem to force myself to do it. At the weekend I get bursts of restlessness, and leap up and do a few things on the ‘list’, but I never get them all done.
Are time-management and prioritising my biggest weaknesses? I don’t think so, professionally I find it easy, and rarely run into problems (well not ones that occur because I haven’t planned). Maybe I need to make my personal time more professional? Hmmm might just be the answer…in which case, I have dinner scheduled, so please excuse me, I must go.
