Tag: <span>Renault Megane</span>

Early in October of this year, I stole an idea and asked my readers to ask me a question. 14 questions and almost 12 weeks later I’m finished. In case you missed any of them, here are those answers in full:

  1. 4.56 AM or other similar times that should not exist, what to do when you find yourself there
  2. Mackerel: an intimate portrait
  3. Redesigns I have hated, and why
  4. The 15th Guinness, table top dancing, questionable headwear and other fun things to do at a blogmeet
  5. Time travel for bloggers
  6. Five Things The Scottish Could Learn From The English, and Five Things The English Could Learn From The Scottish
  7. If one life is all you get, then
  8. The ideal jogging route
  9. Why I will never be cool enough to own a Mac
  10. Why are bin bags so flimsy?
  11. Why I’m glad I’m not single
  12. Why beard?
  13. Daddy or Chips?
  14. “Chips” or “The Dukes of Hazzard”?

It’s been fun coming up with answers, some of which were more challenging than others, some of which were complete nonsense, most of which took me longer than I thought they would.

Mind you, I could just have done something like this:

  1. 4.56 AM or other similar times that should not exist, what to do when you find yourself there – go back to sleep
  2. Mackerel: an intimate portrait – [insert painting of mackerel]
  3. Redesigns I have hated, and why – Renault Megane, hit with ugly stick
  4. The 15th Guinness, table top dancing, questionable headwear and other fun things to do at a blogmeet – yes, yes, sometimes, and “strip blog name guessing”.
  5. Time travel for bloggers – also known as ‘scheduled posting’.
  6. Five Things The Scottish Could Learn From The English, and Five Things The English Could Learn From The Scottish – nothing and lots, in that order.
  7. If one life is all you get, then – why the hell are you reading this rubbish?
  8. The ideal jogging route – is flat.
  9. Why I will never be cool enough to own a Mac – I’m SO cool that I’m above such issues
  10. Why are bin bags so flimsy? – Because they are made that way
  11. Why I’m glad I’m not single – I hate ironing
  12. Why beard? – Because I can.
  13. Daddy or Chips? – CHIPS! (joking… ish)
  14. “Chips” or “The Dukes of Hazzard”? – Daisy and the General Lee, natch

But where’s the fun in that?

A big THANK YOU to everyone who asked a question — Keith, Alex, Lyle, Neil, Peter, mike, Hans, Jane, Lesley, Andy, Adrian, my Mum, and Ally (yes, someone asked more than one question!) — I hope the answers were sufficient, and if not… well… tough!

Life

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In a desperate effort to gain some weird form of validation, I stole an idea for a blog post and begged my readers to ask me a question. And they did. The buggers. Now I have to answer them.

Question 3: Lyle cheated and asked two questions (sort of). The second, “The Joy of Clients” I’ll ignore as I’m just too nice a guy to tell the truth about some of the fuckin’ idiots I’ve had to deal with in the past year or so. Ach, who am I kidding, there was only really one client who may have provided enough material for this post but the ‘relationship’ didn’t develop much further than me saying.. “WTF? Er.. no, too busy at the moment, sorry”. So I’ll tackle his other suggestion instead, “Redesigns I have hated, and why.”

Redesigns I have hated, and why
Those of you who have been visiting for a while will be used to me re-designing this site (also known as ‘de-branding’). In fact I think the current design (current pinkness aside) has been one of the most enduring, probably because, to my eye at least, it hits the mark between minimalism and functionality, without being overly fussy or particularly “in yer face”. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever re-designed this site and hated it… after all, I’m my own best client, right??

So, and I’m guessing this is what he was really asking, I got to thinking about other sites that have been badly re-designed (note: that’s not “badly NEED a re-design” an entirely different topic which would produce a very, VERY long list). There have been a few high profile website re-designs recently, the new look New York Times being one of the more major undertakings. Trouble is, to find a website re-design I hate, I’d have to spend some time browsing sites that I don’t like the look of and, well, what kind of masochist do you take me for?

Broadening the field to look at design in general, one candidate for “redesigns I have hated” leaps out and shakes it’s big ugly ass in my face. The Renault Megane.

Having owned the previous, sleeker, model which, whilst not exactly at the cutting edge of fashion at least retained a modicum of style, the re-designed Renault Megane was a bit of a shock to the system and, essentially, was the car that switched me away from Renault (we’ve had three previous Renaults all served us very well). I have no idea what they were thinking, and whilst the Clio hinted at what was to come, the new Megane’s “booty” and tiny rear windscreen just seemed wrong. It doesn’t matter what angle I look at it from, it is NOT sexy. I do not get images of J-Lo’s curves, nor do I want to ‘shake that ass’ when I see one, on the contrary, I want to take a sledgehammer and pound that big ugly bump into submission.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for unique design and I’m more than happy for car designers to take different approaches to make their car look unique but, and the question has to be asked, who the hell sold this design to the senior management at Renault? There is a hint of twisted evil genius at hand here, either that or s/he got them all completely blotto and managed to get them to sign off after only seeing the re-designed steering wheel or something. I mean come on, if you saw a car THAT ugly would YOU want your company to make it?

I just don’t understand it, most car designers (and, yes, I’m projecting here) must surely spend their day doodling sleek powerful beasts, with bonnet mounted missile launchers and custom painted flames ripping up the side. How do you get from THAT to the fat arsed lardy looking Megane? It beggars belief.

I wish I could give a better reason, but, basically, I hate the design because *I* think it looks ugly, and that’s all that matters to me.

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