Tag: <span>LOUD</span>

I got dragged out shopping tonight. Dragged. There was some muttering about “no bloody football on” or somesuch but I couldn’t really make out what she was saying. She really must learn to stop gritting her teeth.


Someone asked me for a suggestion for a quiet pub in Glasgow. I spent quite a while racking my brain before realising that it’s an oxymoron of sorts. There is no such thing. Glaswegians are not quiet, doubly so when they are in the pub. In the end I suggested the Drum and Monkey (old fashioned but quiet enough) or All Bar One (ubiquitous, quiet-ish and more modern). I’d love to say WHY I was asked to recommend them but I can’t. I promised. She’d kill me.


Our friend, who is on long-term sick leave, blacked out. She came around to find her husband phoning an ambulance. She is now the proud owner of several staples, a bloodied top and what she reckons will be a first-class black eye. We did have a curry and beer night planned with them tomorrow but we’ll make do with making sure she’s alright!


I’ve just typed up a lengthy, descriptive, set of directions for my sister-in-law who is driving to Haggerston on Saturday. She’s taking the kids to a holiday park there, and we’ll nip down and visit on Sunday.

She’s not the world’s most confident driver and I’m pretty sure the furthest she’s ever driven was when she visited us.. I reckon it’s about 50 miles. She’s about to quadruple her personal best! Thankfully it’s not too complicated and she seems quite calm about it… nevertheless I’ll have my mobile set to LOUD all day Saturday. Just in case.

Mind you, we’re at a BBQ on Saturday so I’m hoping she arrives safe and sound before I get too sozzled to help…

“Yeah yeah, take that road. If that doesn’t work, phone me back in a beer.. er.. when you hit Manchester… or something.. HIC!”


ENOUGH!!! Seriously, stop it. All this nonsense about who supports whom, is rather boring now. NO-ONE has to support ANYONE for ANY reason. That’s it. Simple enough. If someone chooses to support someone else then THAT IS UP TO THEM. It’s a free country (ish). Get over it.

Or at the very least, SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT YOU, to quote my darling wife, “WANKFUCKS!”.


That feels SO much better.

Personal Musings

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Does anyone else do this? Is it just me? Read on…

Louise is on holiday today, tomorrow and Monday. I’ll be in work those days. That’s fine. No problem. My usual travel partner is also on holiday (it’s her birthday). No problem there either.

I’ll take the car to the station. I can use the iPod on the train* to drown out Little Miss Loudgob. I’ll get off the train at Argyll Street to add a 10 minute walk to my journey (trying to be healthy).

I’ll get into work. Have a coffee. Read my email. All will be well with my day.

That’s the plan. That WAS the plan. That WAS the plan until some tosser plonked himself down right next to me on the train, and managed to yank the earphones from my ears AND out of the iPod jack. That WAS the plan until my ‘morning walk’ turned into nothing more than a continual ‘avoidance of wankers’.

So I’m narked. MAJORLY.

Thing is I shouldn’t be. I did take the car to the station. I did use the iPod on the train. I did get off the train a stop early and walk to work. I have had a coffee (now two) and I AM reading my email.

But it wasn’t exactly as I planned. It didn’t pan out as I thought it would, wished it would, dreamed it would. That annoys me.

I get the same way at the weekend. I like to plan. I like to know what is coming, and I don’t like deviation from it, not one jot. My plans do not allow for variation. Variation is bad. Variation gets me narked.

Anyone else suffer from this?

* Instructions for setting ‘acceptable volume levels’.

1. Hold the headphones in your hand, NOT next to your ear.
2. Press play.
3. If you can hear the singer drawing breath between lines – IT’S TOO LOUD!
4. Set the volume so that you can barely hear the music.
5. Place headphones on head/in ears – depending on model of headphones.


If anyone knows the woman who had her ‘walkman’ set so loud that I could hear it three rows away, WITH my iPod playing, please forward these instructions on to her. If she isn’t contactable by email please phone her but remember that you may need to shout as she’s no doubt in the final stages of progression to complete deafness.

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