Tag: KNOW

bookmark_borderYou know…

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(stolen from the ever lovely Gunnella)

… you are living in 2006 when:

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

12. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

I’m only posting this because I did (14) and I am laughing. For the record, I don’t do 6, but have a wife who does… and 3 should be expand to say that you don’t KNOW the numbers as they are stored under names on your mobile. These are the times.

bookmark_borderBlogosphere*

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Are there three blogospheres? asks John at Syntagma. He proposes the notion that blogging/bloggers can be categorised in three groups:

  • Primary – ” “Blogging” as a topic of discussion means nothing to them”
  • Secondary – contains the purely-for-business blogs
  • Tertiary – which comprises all those folk who talk endlessly about “the blogosphere”… serious bloggers, info-providers, probloggers, A, B, and C-listers

He proposes that the Tertiary group is the one that will push onwards, leading the way and which will produce “a few giants” over time, with motivation being the dividing factor.

I disagree, slightly, and think this model needs some clarification and additional rules. For a start it needs to explicitly state that the Tertiary group also consists of bloggers who are trying to make money from blogging, to that end it’s not always the case that they are “those folk who talk endlessly” about the state of blogging, more often than not they are the specialist blogs (Gizmodo for example) and rarely pitch in to discussions about the general state of blogging. However they’ll still be pushing ahead as they rely on audience numbers to pull in money.

Naturally, as with any model, there are exceptions to the rule and some bloggers will break out of their “group” and transcend everyone else, perhaps there needs to be a “Stratum” level group in which to place, for example, Dooce. Whether you like reading about her trials and tribulations as a mother, the mainstream media are very aware of her blog, she’s an A-list blogger with no monetary or advancement aspirations.

Anyway, to the crux of my disagreement, or perhaps discontent would be better. This model perpetuates the “them and us” situation we already have and I don’t see how it can, in the long term, benefit the blogging community. By declaring what is essentially a class system such as this, you immediately discount many blogs purely because their motivation isn’t to earn money, be recognised, or gain fame for themselves. There are many smart people who view blogging as a hobby – and would fall into the Primary group in this model – but offer insightful, thought provoking and useful posts. One example, and this is the first one that pops into my head (and I’m aware that I may be perpetuating my own little clique here), would be Adrian’s How to share iTunes over the Internet post which is a perfect example of a “Primary” group blog which, with one post, is now referenced in forums and sites.

Granted this will still be possible in this model but the I think there is has to be some awareness of the Tertiary group becoming very circular. Mind you, that would actually change anything that isn’t present with the A-list blogs at the moment, and is certainly not the fault of the model. However as it’s the “Tertiary” blogs that are discussing this at the moment, and by the model’s own definition they’ll be the only ones doing it, then perhaps John isn’t far off the mark when he states that “the Tertiary blogosphere … will eventually choke itself off”.

To summarise: I think the basic premise of this model isn’t far off the mark, but does seem a little “exclusive” at the moment. I think that can be clarified through wording though. There is also the small matter of the blogs who readily want to be part of the Tertiary group accepting some responsibility and is currently being discussed on other blogs – the small matter of those Top 100 lists. Are the A-listers really doing the what’s best for blogging or themselves?? More on that tomorrow.

* yes I KNOW what I said about that word, I still don’t like it, I’ve slapped myself already

bookmark_borderHe said

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Whilst I was waiting for 24 to start last night, well whilst I was waiting to watch it in ‘chase’ mode, I did a little channel surfing stopping at some red carpet footage from the Oscars. Admittedly it was merely to see if I could catch some of the more beautiful ladies in their best bibs and tuckers (yes yes I KNOW the ladies wouldn’t be wearing the bibs and tuckers, I’m not a complete idiot, not yet anyway. Still practising though.).

Now whilst I think she has a certain attractiveness Maggie Gyllenhaal isn’t high up my list. Neither is thin Oprah (neither is fat Oprah but she wasn’t there), nor Samuel L. Jackson’s wife. In fact bar a fleeting shot of Penelope Cruz, not really my type either, it was a complete waste of ten minutes.

Apart from one thing.

I’m not sure if they are new, or whether the American TV shows I watch just don’t use them, but there are a few phrases I’ve heard over the last few days, and last night in particular that have me perplexed.

1. “My bad”
Whilst I understand the meaning behind this, where does it stem from? Is it a shortened form of a longer sentence, and if so what? Surely “I’m bad” is sufficient? Or is this just a backlash against Michael Jackson (by the way have you seen that ‘item of evidence’ email that’s been going round, yeuch).

2. “… as all get up”
Used generally in a positive sense and tacked onto the end of a statement, this phrase is the one that really perturbs.
What does it mean? As… what gets up? The dog that’s been lying on the floor? Can it only be used when describing an outfit, hence making me presume it’s taken from the phrase “Check that get up” which has completely the opposite, derogatory, meaning.

I’m sure there are others but I’ll need another coffee before I can think of them.

I may not understand why Americans prefer z to s (ize to ise), nor why they find the letter u so offensive as to drop it altogether from words, but that’s just* spelling. This is like some weird lazy language and I demand an explanation.

* pedants please. I know it’s not JUST spelling, I know that there are deeper matters of great importance inherent in the way you choose to spell. (Update, I KNEW the pedants would find fault somewhere!)

bookmark_borderFat

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I’m fat. There is no denying it. I’m easily four stone over weight (56lbs or ~25.5kgs). It’s something I’m both constantly thinking about and constantly not caring about, all at once.

Society deems me to be imperfect. I do not conform. I am a freak. An outcast. Someone to be looked at with a mixture of derision and sympathy.

“Ohh look a fat person, how can they let that happen to themselves? Must be hard for him to get clothes to fit, I mean look at that beer belly… ugh”

For the record I weigh 17st, 10lb. That seems to be a constant weight for me, and being 6′ tall I can get away with carrying a little extra. I’ve lost weight in the past, I was down to 16st 2lb at one point then fell off the wagon and shot straight back up.

Sometimes I hear people excusing their weight, saying things like “If we were meant to be thin, God would’ve made sweet things slimming” or “It’s not a problem for Dawn French” (sorry Dawn, I’m sure you are royally fedup being the spokesperson for us fatties, and I know there is infinitely more to you than your weight). It sickens me that does. There is no REAL excuse for being fat, is there. Just need to control my diet better, exercise more (at all) and have the willpower to say no.

Now, I have the willpower to refuse a drink when I’m out in the pub, I can be as stubborn as the next donkey when I want to be, but that’s just me fighting against peer pressure (a pet peeve), unfortunately when I’m at home, bored and watching TV, there isn’t a group of my peers standing next to the kitchen cupboards saying:

“Go on, have a packet of crisps.. better still have three! Go on, you know you want to, come on, just one to start… at least one, one won’t hurt, will it?”

No, those annoying bastards are no where in sight whilst I devour a big bag of Revels, or have an entire tub of Ben & Jerry’s to myself.

Thing is, and I think I can generalise a bit here, us fatties KNOW what’s bad for us, we KNOW that eating an entire multi-pack of Wotsits isn’t good. We KNOW that we should have a lean stir fry instead of pizza. We KNOW that a bag of chips makes up our entire calorie quota for the day. We are not thick. We are not stupid. We must be self-destructive for a reason. Right?

Or we might, just might, be happy within ourselves. Sure we know we run an increased risk of heart disease and all that jazz, but mostly we are willing to take the risk. Same as you smokers. You all know that’s bad for you, right? So why do you keep doing it? Ohh and don’t give me that “it’s an addiction” speil, food is as addictive as nicotine. At least MY addiction doesn’t waft over.. no no.. I’m talking about being fat. Stick to the topic.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it. The stigma of being fat, the public perception and social impact of being overweight, is a much larger issue and one which the individual finds much harder to deal with. Just think about what you hear when people in the media are talking about fat people. It’s almost accepted that fat people are there to be mistreated, degraded and ridiculed, and that we all need to hear, again, how to slim down and conform.

Has it ever occurred to people that us fatties are actually kinda pissed off that we don’t conform? No, the discussion is always about changing us, rather than having society change to adopt us.

But that’s not unique either, fat, black, gay, muslim and all the other shades of grey, the rule is for US to conform. What kind of society is that to live in?

bookmark_borderShorts

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It’ll be a day of short posts I’m afraid (or a couple of posts with lots of short bits in them). Splitting headache when I woke up. In fact I was in bed at 10.30pm last night (very early for me) and I still don’t feel like I’ve had any sleep. Can anyone say “head cold”? And yes I KNOW you can, it’s a figure of speech – see, the advantage of knowing your audience is knowing how many of you would add “head cold” as a comment.

~

Open letter to the guys at Google/GMail: Yes I KNOW I’ve got 1GB of storage space, but I refuse to fill it up with crap. THAT’S why I deleted some emails “forever”, and why I will continue to do so. I could do without the sarcastic “Who needs to delete when you have 1000 MB of storage?!” message. Thanks.

~

Presuming I’m not dead come 5pm, I have a night out tonight. Well a few drinks after work anyway. In fact I have two nights out tonight so will have to do some juggling. I’m just too popular.

~

Anyone else noticed that the Metro appears to be running a series of “How to be a chav/boyracer” articles? They are customising a Punto and in today’s Metro they also offered some suggestions of what to wear. Yes, it did include Burberry. I think this is an example of the writers at Metro NOT knowing their target audience which, I presume, is almost entirely made up of commuters on their way to work. Not any chavs or neds or [insert own local term for delinquents here].

~

Cake day today. Highlight of my working week. That’s a bad thing I think…

bookmark_borderChoose Drugs

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It’s been a long time since I was exposed to drugs in any form to be honest. There was a lot of it floating around, past and through me at college/uni (I’m never sure which as I started at a poly and ended at a uni), all types, sizes and strengths (and I only heard of one OD which is probably something notable) but since then it’s been largely absent bar the occasional wiff of joint here and a sighting of a tab there. So to be plunged back into that kind of environment took me a couple of hours to get my head around.

The one obvious thing, of course, and something I’d largely forgotten was how harmless drugs render a lot of people. Not all people and not all drugs but the large majority were quite happy to lie on the grass and get stoned, or wander around and share stories, jokes, and the music, with any and all passing strangers.

The people that were constantly hassling others, causing trouble and generally acting like dickheads were the ones drinking copious amounts of Tennents and, without wanting to stereotype but realising that stereotypes are born from necessity, were wearing tracksuits, burberry caps and white trainers.

Over the weekend I lost count of the number of times I was bumped into, and that I bumped into others. Most times a quick turn of the head, a murmured word, even a hand raised in apology was enough. Even when I had to forcibly shove someone upright as they fell into me, all I was met with was an almost embarassed apology “Sorry pal, …they magic mushrooms man… sorry mate… fuckin’ great they are but..”.

Minutes later and I do the same to stop a couple of passing lads, both looking in the opposite direction to where they are heading, walking straight through the girl standing next to me and I’m met with growls and threats because “Who the fuck do you think you are pushing ya dickhead”. Thankfully I’m a lot calmer in my ‘old’ age and I shrug and turn my back on them letting further insults and threats bounce harmlessly off my skin, but still tensed in anticipation of trouble.

At times I wished I could take some politicians round and show them.

Of course the other side of all that blissed out happiness is the dealers and the violence and all that goes with an illegal trade. But surely that only adds to the argument. Legalise the sale of marijuana and that side of things should disappear, leaving the customers of the drug to exist in their own little world of contented space(d).

P.S. The photos are almost ready but I was too tired to post them last night. I’ll do it later this evening. I just KNOW you can’t wait…