Tag: <span>Jimmy Carr</span>

It’s fair to say that we are both fairly stressed with the ongoing ‘lack of kitchen’ saga, so it’s been good to have a hearty chuckle over the past couple of days.

The cat flap we fitted for Ollie is working fine. It uses a magnetic lock to stop just any old feline wandering in, and means that Ollie now has a small magnet dangling from his collar. I’m sure there are other cats in the area with the same cat flap fitted in their homes but it will stop the strays getting in.

Unfortunately for Ollie, having a magnet attached to collar makes life… interesting… particularly when your food and water bowls are made of metal … *CLUNK* … or you have to walk past the washing machine as it’s currently sitting in the living room … *KLANK* … or you walk past the clean dishes, lying at the top of the stairs as they are currently being washed in the bathroom, and a spoon attaches itself to your collar … *CLINK*. Cue one bemused cat staring down at this spoon as it follows him along the hall… “But I’m not carrying it! Get it off me!!”.

We shouldn’t laugh at him of course, but we do…

And then, off to see Jimmy Carr last night. We started with some teppenyaki, and then we (my sister and her boyfriend were with us), headed over to the Clyde Auditorium.

Suffice to say (without wanting to spoil the show for others) that he was hilarious. I’d say he was edgy but that wouldn’t really sum up his brand of humour. What he does is very smart of course, taking the audience to a place where it’s ok to laugh at a particularly distasteful joke and then taking you one step further to shock you.

Peppered with one-liners, and a nicely handled ‘open session’ with lead to some arsehole just shouting abuse (which Jimmy handled excellently “You know, whenever I get someone like you in the audience I get a nice warm glow. After all, somewhere a carer is getting the night off…”) the highlight was probably the consistent way in which he related the jokes to two 14 year olds that were sitting in the front row….

A great show and a very smart, very funny man. If you get a chance to see him live, and you aren’t easily shocked (there are recurring themes of paedophilia for example) then go and see him.

Just be careful if you decide to heckle him. He is quietly and lethally brutal.

Cat Life

This post is entirely to save my own sanity. Feel free to skip it but if I don’t write all this down my head will explode.

Today I await the arrival of a new kitchen worktop and need to visit the doctor (well the nurse) to get my blood pressure taken again. I’ve been pretty good watching what I eat, not adding salt to anything (well a tiny amount to that tasteless bowl of chicken soup.. ick) and I’ve also managed to lose about 5lbs so it’s all good, I hope.

Tomorrow night Louise is out seeing South Pacific. Not my favourite show so quite glad I’m not going, it’ll give me a chance to sort through my bookshelves (some of them at least).

Saturday (22nd) night we are out to dinner with my sister and her boyfriend, then off to see Jimmy Carr. I’m expecting sore sides on Sunday morning.

Although I might have to work on Sunday so I hope they aren’t too sore.

Alas I might also have to work on Monday (Bank Holiday or not, but I’ll get the days back…).

At some point next week the article I wrote for Credit Control Journal (exciting stuff) will be published.

Tuesday (25th) of next week I’m through in Edinburgh in the evening at a SUPA event (ohh dahhhlling that’s supa!), which will give me some blog fodder for that other blog I have as well as being pretty damn interesting in general.

Thursday (27th) of next week, we are at the dentist at 9.30am. Well Louise is, but as we share the commute these days it means I’ll also be late into the office.

Friday (28th) of next week is Games Night at work, and I’m looking forward to chilling out a little, playing Guitar Hero, eating pizza and generally being a bit geeky.

On Monday the 31st of March the kitchen fitters arrive. I’m not saying any more on THAT topic lest I jinx things but it does mean the next few weekends will consist of flooring, papering, cleaning and of course we’ll need to buy new stuff (basin, bins, that kind of thing).

On Friday the 4th of April I’ll be at the Elbow gig at the ABC in Glasgow (anyone else going??).

On Friday the 11th of April we have a Development night out (allegedly, it’s still to be arranged).

And on Saturday the 12th April I’ll be at the Portishead gig in the Corn Exchange in Edinburgh. That’ll be odd as their new album isn’t released until the 28th…

At some point in April we will be going down to see Peggy and family so Louise and her get a chance to meet before we fly off to Hungary together at the start of May.

I’ve also got an article in the ISTC quarterly publication, Communicator, but not sure when that is appearing, and I’ve got a regular slot in their monthly newsletter starting this month. Both will be covered on t’other blog.


Ever wondered how the time goes by so quickly? THAT’S why!!


Some wise person once said “Best laid plans are soonest avoided”. Admittedly it may have been me…

My weekend was hiijacked by shopping (whilst we waited on the electricians finishing) so I have a couple of new shirts, a night out with our friends (and rather delicious steak!), and a car boot sale which included getting up in the middle of the night to get there, and having people peer into the back of your car the second you pull up. They had torches and everything, these are serious people, organised people, do NOT get in their road!

Also managed to fit a cat flap which Ollie has finally figured out how to use, although it will mean building a new back step (he’s climbing up some bricks at the moment to get to the flap), and through the joys of Sky+ I got to watch Scotland lose at rugby, Rangers steal a cup final from Dundee United, and a rather exciting Grand Prix.

I did not, however, read anything, nor start clearing out my bookshelves. Oh well, Louise is out on Wednesday night so I can crack on with that job when I’ve got the house to myself. Yes, yes, I could easily tackle the job when she is there but it means I need to limit the volume of “that crap music”… it’s much better if I wait until she is out, trust me.

A busy few weeks ahead, kitchen ‘stuff’ of course, plus Jimmy Carr this weekend and a trip back to the doctors to see about my high blood pressure. I’ve spent the last week adding no salt, reading labels on packets and generally being sensible about what I eat (if you discount the Toffee Crisp I had yesterday… hey, I’d been up since 4.30am!!). It’s not been too bad to be honest and I really hope it’s helped lower my blood pressure as I really REALLY don’t want more pills, I’ve still got two weeks of antibiotics to get through!

Not a bad weekend then, although looking at the weather today I wish I had the day off because the garden really really needs some attention! Anyone wanna bet it’s raining this weekend?


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Back to work tomorrow, as I feel almost human again. Still a little tired but I can cope with that as I’m no longer (as of yesterday) falling asleep halfway through the afternoon. It’s good timing as the next few days are going to be hectic.

The kitchen fitters arrive tomorrow so last night we started taking out the appliances; the cooker is getting thrown out, the dishwasher is being passed on to some friends, and the fridge and washing machine will be sitting in the living room for the next few days. This gave me a chance to switch the fridge door round (only taken… 6 years?), and give it a good clean, two things I’ve been meaning to do for ages (working at McDonalds has an upside, I know the best way to clean seals on a fridge door..).

Aside from that, the past two weeks haven’t consisted of much. We’ve slowly been spending money, with Louise ordering and picking up the tiles for the wall and the new flooring, and had to fork out for a new hoover (our 12 year old Dyson has packed up) and to get the flashing on the porch redone to stop it leaking.

I’ve done little but watch crap TV, crap movies and sleep, with the exception of dipping in and out of “The Naked Jape” a rather fascinating book by Jimmy Carr and Lucy Greeves which explores why we joke, what makes a joke funny and a myriad of other issues surrounding our use of humour. It’s a smart read, and is peppered with some pretty good jokes as well. We are seeing Jimmy when he hits Glasgow in April so it was a timely read.

I also managed to finish of a website so it’s not been a completely unproductive time, but I’m quite looking forward to getting back to work for a couple of days.

Of course, I say that now…