Pick a song from an artist or band that’s had the biggest impact on your life.
Queen were my first love. Finding their albums in my parents record collection was like finding a rare jewel. Mostly because they spanned the time of my awakening to pop/rock music so I had a contemporary view of them (Radio GaGa) to play against the album I found (Jazz).
Billy Joel was in there too, as were the Carpenters, Neil Sedaka, and a myriad of folk artists (traditional Scottish and contemporary).
My music tastes were centred on the charts, Top of the Pops was required watching. Madonna’s Like a Virgin made me blush (she said Virgin!), I didn’t understand why Relax got banned, and my exposure to music started to bloom with counterfeit tapes that my Uncle Hector brought back from Dubai (this was the 80s, it was all the rage!). Eurythmics, Hendrix, Wham, and more.
I was 18 and turning more and more to rock and heavy metal (Iron Maiden’s early albums still remain favourites), when a white vinyl single arrived at the Hospital Radio station I volunteered at.
That single was Alive, by a band called Pearl Jam.
Back then, I was working part-time and focussed on going out as much as I could, so money was tight for music purchases. CDs were bought maybe twice a month, tapes still prevailed for portability and pirating (borrowing from friends).
But I can remember heading to John Menzies in the high street, up the narrow stairs at the back to the music department, and asking about the Pearl Jam album that had just been released. I took it home to my new Aiwa mini-stereo system, ejected Rage Against the Machine, and put a CD titled Ten into the player.
I poured over it for the next few weeks. Recording it to tape so it would be in my ears as often as possible. Trains to college were soundtracked, Eddie Vedder’s voice became mine, and the lyrics seeped into my soul.
Around the same time a band called Nirvana released their second album and took over the world and, while I followed that bandwagon for a while, I returned to Pearl Jam more often than not.
I listen to them sparingly. I’ve only seen them live once —and broke down in tears when they opened with Release, a song that had reduced me to tears as a hormonal and confused 18 year old— but looking back they are the band that have had the biggest impact in my life.
Throughout their catalogue I can pick songs that feel like they are plucked from my own brain. They’ve always felt a little ‘other’ just like I did, so it was an easy association.
Picking a single track is almost impossible, but I guess I’ll stick with the first one that came to mind. A track that describes how I think I’m perceived by my friends. I have always drifted in and out of their lives, always felt a little separate. It’s largely circumstance that has driven that but it still makes me feel a little sad that I’ve not been able to be there as often as I’d like.
Thank you Pearl Jam, for this and so many other songs. You make me rock, you make me think, you make me cry, you make me laugh (Yellow Ledbetter anyone?), and I realise now that you are a constant in my life.
“Off He Goes” by Pearl Jam
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