Plans and goals and things

My life is on hold.
My plans have wavered.
My dreams are simpler.
My hopes are vivid.
My goals have shifted.

As parents, Becca and I are well aware that it’s easy to lose yourself in the day to day of caring for our son. The weeks collapse on each other, and before you know it June has arrived.

Finding time for ourselves is tricky, not always possible, and frequently gets lost in the needs of family and friends. A few hours here and there to chill and indulge in our hobbies is about all we can manage.

And that’s just fine with me.

Coming from someone who likes a long term plan (I’ve already signed up to a cycling event for next year!) it’s been a shift of mindset for me but it’s been a surprisingly easy one. It helps that our son is an absolute joy most of the time, and I love spending time with him, just hanging out.

My memories of the time I spent with my Dad were all around activities he was doing, and most of that was jogging with him, the occasional trips to the park with the dog and a frisbee/aerobee (he did love a throwing ‘gadget’), but very little of just hanging out with him. That’s likely due to my early years as an only child and learning to be self-sufficient and happy to content myself without needing a parent around, something Jack is slowly learning as we tend to only play when he asks. If he doesn’t, we leave him to his own devices.

All of this means that my own time is very limited these days and whilst it’s nice to get a couple of hours to play FIFA, or go for a solo coffee date, it’s not the be all and end all of my aspirations.

There are so many clichés about being a parent but I didn’t fully grasp the subtlety of this aspect of it, the loss of hobby time (as best as I can describe it) that you realise you aren’t really that bothered about.

Realising all this paints the picture that Becca and I do NOTHING for ourselves which isn’t true. As previously mentioned we take monthly turns in a night at a hotel which gives us an afternoon/evening and the next morning to chill out, go to a gig, visit the cinema, have a relaxed dinner or, as has been the case so far, grabbing takeaway and slobbing out in the hotel room watching TV, which is just as wonderful.

My life is on hold but will restart far too soon.
My plans have wavered but only need moved.
My dreams are simpler but far more important.
My hopes are vivid and get brighter everyday.
My goals have shifted for the better, for me, for Becca, for Jack.

Written By

Long time blogger, Father of Jack, geek of many things, random photographer and writer of nonsense.

Doing my best to find a balance.

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