Winding Down

The end of year is approaching and thoughts turn to Christmas, Hogmanay and 2016.

Every year the run up to Christmas feels the same; it always seems sudden, always a little too fraught, too full of worries that the gifts are good enough, that the days are fun enough, that the food is tasty enough and so on and so forth. Tis the season to worry?

But no matter how hard we worry, no matter how much we plan, that perfect Christmas never quite comes to pass, does it? There’s always something you’ve overlooked, or something that doesn’t quite go right, waiting in the wings to show you up or disappoint you.

Of course I’m old enough to know that this is just the way of things and I’m certainly a lot less stressed about the forthcoming festivities than I have been in the past and, given that my recent redundancy is making this year a lot more financially challenging, well that’s saying something!

Thankfully Hogmanay is planned already and will offer some quiet and peace, a chance to recover, gather ourselves and no doubt reflect on the past year, with thoughts of what the future might hold. Four of us, myself, Clare, Kirsty, and Mark (Kirsty’s other partner) are off to hide away in a cabin on the banks of Loch Lomond for a few nights. Books, board games, food, wine and plans to do nothing of particular note. I may be looking forward to this more than I am Christmas this year.

And so my eye turns to 2016.

My new job will dominate the first couple of months no doubt, as will adjusting to the intricacies of life as a contractor. Beyond that the usual desires – lose weight, decrease debt – will be on my mind, not to mention that novel I have sitting in 1st draft state (I use the word ‘state’ advisedly, it’s a bloody mess!). Beyond that I’m not entirely sure what my silent resolutions might be and right now I’m not entirely bothered that I’m not entirely sure.

I will be resolved, as always, to be better at whatever I can, but I think I’ll try and let fate choose the what and wherefore for a change. Be better at letting life unfurl before me, rather than try to plan it in detail. Yes, that sounds good.

In 2016 I resolve to plan not to plan.