Poly Means Many: There are many aspects of polyamory. Each month, the PMM bloggers will write about their views on one of them. Links to all posts can be found at polymeansmany.com.
A Poly Christmas (ho ho ho!)
The festive season is upon us once more! Yuletide approaches, mince pies are being warmed, trees decorated and everywhere across the land talk turns to Christmas Day and the bounties that await on the dinner table. Families rejoice and gleefully wear lurid jumpers, novelty socks and all quietly enjoy the Queen’s speech.
Or so the TV adverts would have you believe. Ohhh yes, and we all drink Coke.
Putting my cynicism aside, it is true that for many, whether you celebrate it or not, the holidays are a time for family, loved ones and friends. It’s an excuse to indulge, or over-indulge, and enjoy the people in your life. For others, Christmas is wrought with reminders, decisions that don’t want to be made, and the sooner it’s all over the better.
But what about these poly people, how does Christmas work for them?
I have no idea as, dear reader, this is our first poly Christmas! However, we have been giving it some thought…
Christmas Nights out are already filling the (shared) calendars, and the not so trivial matter of ‘who will be where and when’ is being discussed. The holidays seem to bring an additional amplification to the normal concerns around being able to see your loved ones as we also have to factor in the expectations of family and close friends.
Planning is required but until hard decisions and discussions have been had, we are in limbo. Sometimes I wonder if we should just organise a conference call and get my partners, their partners, families, and friends all into one discussion… impossible of course, I know. Regardless, I’ve no doubt that, as supportive as our families have been, someone will feel they are losing out.
There are only so many hours in the day though.
Next up, nights out. Does a “+1” really mean just 1, or can I bring both of my partners? If not, who should accompany me? To add some spice to this quandary, I work with one of my partners so, for a company night out, she could be there with one of her other partners, and I could be there with mine? All four of us out together? (and my two partners also see each other…). How many tongues would that get wagging? (and do I give a shit?!).
We are still ‘new’ though, so visiting families is still happening. Reactions will need to be gauged and I’ve no doubt there are unknown questions still to be answered and, as the alcohol starts to flow, tongues loosen and curiosities are piqued, I’m sure they will be asked.
I’ve decided not to worry though. I will answer any questions honestly, safe in the knowledge that both my partners trust me and know that I love them and know that I wouldn’t do anything to put them in an awkward position.
Mind you, I am already very thankful we’ve already thought past Christmas and we will all be spending Hogmanay together! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!