Coming Clean

In the past couple of years I’ve spent a fair amount of time in my own head, analysing some fairly basic questions. Who am I? What do I want from life? That kind of thing.

I’ve been lucky enough to find a woman with a similar outlook, and many similar desires, and we’ve talked and talked and talked and now find ourselves in a very good place indeed.

One of the key things that is underpinning everything is honesty. Real honesty, which can be brutal at times but if applied towards the good things and bad things in equal measure can be (has been) life changing.

I’ve mentioned it here before and, if I’m honest (see what I did there), it’s been a bit of a rough ride but it continues to be something I’m striving for. Between us laid out our thoughts and fears, and whilst we may still have the odd little hiccup that’s usually just bad comms getting in the way (and hey, nobody is perfect and neither should they be!).

Being honest, completely honest, is hard. Telling someone you love that they are pissing you off, and being explicit in why and what you’d like to change is not an easy thing. You don’t want to hurt feelings, or cause unnecessary conflict, but the more you do it, the more you tackle these things, the easier it becomes.

It also has a nice side effect of helping you learn more about yourself which is never a bad thing, providing you are prepared to act on that information. For example, I get easily stressed when people are late. Or so I thought, turns out I’m applying MY time/goal focused mindset to their timescales and rarely in any reasonable manner.

So, yes I do have a point, it turns out that what I need to be is be properly honest with everyone.

That doesn’t start with YOU lot though. Not quite yet.

Bearing in mind that this blog has never been 100% open on all aspects of my life I am expecting that the content may change as I start to write about things more honestly. I’d imagine a few people might stop reading but as I’ve always stated I write here for ME, for my own reasons and I need to be true to those.

What will I be talking about?

Not sure really, the most obvious thing, something I’m still exploring and trying to understand, would be my polyamorous relationship.

And for more on that topic, I highly suggest you read (and continuing read, they ain’t finished yet) this series of posts by women living in such a relationship.

Anyway, enough about me.

How the hell are you?


Written By

Long time blogger, Father of Jack, geek of many things, random photographer and writer of nonsense.

Doing my best to find a balance.

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blogging honestly is the hardest thing. I try and write freely, and although I’m inevitably presenting myself and the people I know as characters, I do try and be as ‘true to life’ as I can. That said, I’m also acutely aware that there are a number of topics I don’t touch at all… and their omission means that you get much less of a picture of me than otherwise. I don’t even blog directly under my actual name, for goodness sake (albeit my alias is little more than a figleaf that keeps google away by one degree and wouldn’t fool a persistent searcher).

With that being so, I applaud your intention and look forward to learning more about you. It still won’t be YOU, but it will be at least a step closer.


Interesting that on re-reading this it does seem to make it sound as if I’m a deeply complex person (which I can be) but, you’ve met me, that sums up who I am I think, a “nice guy” who is a bit cheeky at times, all delivered with a smile.

Or am I?!

yeah, it’s so un-digital, but there’s still not really a substitute for actually meeting someone to add a new lens to the things you read, eh?
Plus, Ungdomskulen rock!

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