Month: March 2007

Conceited

Reading time: 3 mins

There was a fairly massive “UK blog event” last week, which culminated in the publishing of a book called Shaggy Blog Stories (you HAVE ordered your copy, haven’t you?). It was a remarkable undertaking and everyone involved should be, and has been, rightly applauded. Plaudits well earned if you ask me.

Of course, as with anything and everything, there has been a little bit of a backlash which mike has handled with his usual aplomb (I do wish he’d stop making things looks so damn easy). I guess some people always presume the worst in these situations and I think that reflects more on them than they care to realise.

Now, I should point out that I’m not in the book. Nor was I involved in the creation process. Hell, I didn’t even offer a contribution. And I’m not for a minute suggesting that I wasn’t given the opportunity to be involved, and I’m quite sure that had I offered, mike would have found some use of my ‘talents’. This post is most certainly not a “toys out of pram” moan, nor a dig against anyone who was involved.

However the simple fact is that I wasn’t, for a variety of reasons that I’ll mention in a minute, involved with this project at all. On any front.

This irks.

And I’m not sure why.
Continue reading Conceited

Notes from a frazzled blogger

Reading time: < 1 min

Alec Salmond, for it was the self-same leader of the SNP who was visiting our offices yesterday, is a man of varying sizes. I know this to be true because whilst I feel he looks taller and thinner in the flesh than he appears on-screen (the place where politicians live), a colleague thought he looked shorter and fatter. Who’d be a politician, eh?

~

Budget day today. The only thing that will really have any impact on me will be the now standard rise in diesel prices. If the gap between petrol and diesel rises any further then there will be no point in owning a diesel car, the advantage of increased “miles per gallon” (kilometres per litre) will be wiped out.

I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing though, maybe I should be more concerned with the emissions side of things. Yes I’m sure I should.

Which brings me to something I was pondering as I idled alongside a big flashy sports car yesterday, namely, would I buy one?

A scenario: A lottery win or large inheritance falls in your lap. You can afford anything you desire and more. Would you still buy a luxury sports car?

If so, should you also buy several hundred acres of land and plant a sustainable forest to balance your ‘carbon footprint’? Where is the ethical line?

~

And finally it’s the Spring Equinox today. Spring is poised to be sprung.

Or is it? Given the obvious effects of global warming (like many, I was scraping ice off my car this morning), shouldn’t we move the seasons accordingly. It sure as hell FEELS like it’s still winter!

Edinburgh Blogmeet

Reading time: < 1 min

OK people, let’s meet!

The first blogmeet of the year will be in Edinburgh, on the 19th May, and the venue will be confirmed closer to the date.

I think the Jolly Judge may be getting a little small for our needs, but of course that depends largely on how many people turn up. As a double bonus, I’ll happily arrange a meeting point for those travelling through from Glasgow.

So if you can make it, please leave a comment so I’ve got a rough ideas of numbers.

For those of you who haven’t been to a blogmeet, here’s some brief notes from the previous few:
May 2005 – Edinburgh
October 2005 – Glasgow
February 2006 – Edinburgh
October 2006 – Glasgow

And finally some popular blogmeet myths dispelled.

Neologism

Reading time: 2 mins

Busy busy busy, so I’ll “borrow” this from a recent ISTC newsletter.

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

  1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
  2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
  3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
  4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
  5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
  6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
  7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
  8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
  9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
  10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
  11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
  12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
  13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
  14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
  15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
  16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

  1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  2. Foreploy (v.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
  3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
  4. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  5. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
  6. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  7. Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness.
  8. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
  9. Karmageddon (n.): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
  10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
  11. Glibido (v.): All talk and no action.
  12. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
  14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.

Well, they made me laugh. And yes, you may have heard these before.

This, that, the other

Reading time: < 1 min

I’m still hunting for a solution to my miniblog woes. Miniposts2 plugin doesn’t work, and I really don’t want to/shouldn’t HAVE to hack at PHP code. It can’t be THAT frigging hard, can it? I’m holding out for an update to Miniposts2 in the hope some of the bugs are solved as it’s my best option. I think.

The other blog is still being designed, but I have a few plans for it already.

Unfortunately I’ve been struck down by another bout of killer man-flu and I’m popping antibiotics and decongestants like, um, pills. Motivation to do ANYTHING about ANYTHING is very very low. Add in an afternoon of rugby today and well I’m resigned to being unproductive.

New PC is going fine, but I need to find a small piece of thin rubber to stick to the bottom of this keyboard as it’s bouncing a little.

Musically I’ve just bought an album by Tracey Thorn, and have ‘rediscovered’ “Fix Up, Look Sharp” by Dizzee Rascal. Eagles of Death Metal came on stage to it and it’s WELL BANGIN’ played at that kind of volume. The speakers on my PC aren’t loud enough though… yet. My soundcard does support a 7.1 system (which is an awful lot of cables so I didn’t bother).

The Big One on TV last night wasn’t too bad, and my gob was suitably smacked at our Prime Minister declaring that he’s not “bovverred”. Brilliant stuff. I’m warming to Ms. Tate. Slowly.

And, of course, it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow. A mixed day in our house, and we will take some time to remember my mother-in-law.

Right. Next round of pills is due and I’m off to lie on the sofa. For the rest of the day.