Talk talk

Reading time: 2 mins

I’m boring. Seriously, sometimes I struggle with conversations these days as I rarely go out and meet new people. I used to go out a lot, meet new people every night and talk until dawn without pause (or until they wander off to get away from the strange man who is talking to himself), nowadays I’m so out of practise that whilst I’m chatting to someone I frequently have out of body (mind?) experiences where the second after I utter some banal question or other – “And do you like your job?” – I can almost hear myself laughing at my stuttering inability to do anything except ask stock questions of the very type I used to ridicule. (You know, back when I was a student and knew everything)

Yes, in a former life I was a conversation snob. Nowadays I’ll talk to anyone, even the mad drunken Celtic fan at the train station… hey, he’s the only person I know that calls me a ‘smashing big lad’, you don’t get that kind of praise everywhere ya know…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not rude or boring as such, you may even enjoy a conversation with me but, and this is the thing that really annoys me, I don’t LEAD conversations anymore. I don’t mean that I want to control the topics of discussion, or that I want to be the centre of attention, but I find myself more of a reactionary “group conversationalist” than the kind of guy I used to be where I’d take some pleasure at coming up with interesting/funny/random topics to pitch into the usual melee of a night out. Little conversational flash points.

OK, that last bit sounds awful. Suffice to say that it’s not a huge leap from “so, where do you work?” to “what would be your ideal job?” but you’d be surprised how many times that subtle shift can help a conversation.

Thankfully I’ve not quite lost the ability to flirt but that does mean that, more and more, I find myself gravitating towards the ladies in the group and, and please let me know if I’m over thinking this one (yeah I know, like I’D do that..), I’ve now started to wonder if they think I’m some sort of letch.

It’s obvious I need to go out more so, with that in mind, I’ll be round to shake my tin and take donations for my new “Save Gordon’s Conversation” campaign. Please give generously, thank you.

There is one other thought that I’m trying to ignore on this topic though, has my blog killed my ability to hold a conversation?

Editors note: This reads like he’s some sort of social outcast. Quite the contrary I can assure you, Gordon is far from a shy retiring type. And yes, I realise that I’m biased on this matter but please don’t let this post stop you from meeting Gordon. If nothing else he’s devastatingly handsome and is hugely generous with his inherited fortune, he likes to keep that bit quiet though.