Year: 2005

bookmark_borderHoisin

Posted on

Hello? Is this on?

Small blip there, apologies. I presume I missed a memo somewhere as it was definitely a server issue that affected a few other sites or was this one of those things I was emailed about months ago and have since forgotten? Most probably the latter so apologies again for the lack of warning.

ANYWAY…

As a Technical Author, I write software manuals for a living. The process of creating the manuals involves a fair amount of planning, information sourcing and research. Frequently I am writing the manuals at the same time the code is being developed, and it’s only towards the end of a project that I get to see the finished applications and compare them with the documentation. When that moment comes all hell breaks loose as usually my interpretation of a function (taken from a specification document) differs slightly from the implemented design in the UI. This is the way of things and I have no complaint at all as I’ve grown to accept that at the end of a development project, the tech author will always have a heavier workload than at any other time. I’ve worked in several companies with differing approaches to product development and it’s always the same. Universally constant.

I’m at that stage of the project right now. The only slight difference from the norm is that I’m currently working on six different projects, with manuals for two of them (the largest two) still being corrected and re-written. I’ve yet to start on a 250 page configuration guide, nor a 180 page system installation guide (these are large enterprise wide applications with many parts on different servers). And yes, I am beginning to hit the “mild hysteria” stage but have yet to make it full blown panic (I don’t think I’ll actually get there with this project as, for a change, all the information I need is available, I’m just lacking time to process it all).

Hang on, I’m breaking one of my own rules: Do not blog about work!

Suffice to say that whilst it may appear normal here, I feel very much like the graceful swan (ugly duckling?) of blogging. Posting glides smoothly onwards whilst real life is thrashing away under the surface. But then that’s no different from any other blog really, what you post is never a true reflection of your life, of your person, of your thoughts and emotions. For one, capturing such things accurately in writing is a skill beyond most, and if we blogged everything we did we would be churning out the most awful, boring and repetitive navel-gazing posts day after day after day.

Hmmmm, that feels a tad to close to the mark.

Never fear, posting will continue apace as I have plenty of ill-conceived draft posts that I’ll be dusting off and “pre-date publishing”, but I may be noticeably absent from your comment boxes (it’s normally Gert that notices, mind you, as she chases me from comment box to comment box). Of course, I’ll still expect you to keep me entertained with witty and pithy comments as, if nothing else, it would make a change.

bookmark_borderAwareness

Posted on

You know I’m not actually sure who knows about this site. I mean I know YOU lot do, but what about the other people I work with, friends and family that read this but never mention it, never comment, never PASS comment. I know my Mum and Dad read this, and my mate Keith, and a couple of old school friends but I’m pretty sure the rest of the numbers are made up of fellow bloggers, and I’m guessing it’s about 90% in favour of blogdom (I need to find a word to replace blogosphere – blogdom, bloghaven, blogtown, “the internet”???).

I know that several people I work with know about the site but I doubt they are regular visitors (aside from the two who have blogs – and I’m not sure even they visit often – and a certain tall long haired biker dude with big sticks). So who else is out there, eyeballing this, wondering how on earth I’ve got the time to blog (pre-dated posting people!) when I’m as busy as I claim to be.

So let’s take an educated guess. In fact let’s get scientific for a moment, as there is a simple equation I can use to ascertain how many people I know read my blog:

        A x B = Z

where:
A is the number of joke emails about the pope = 50
B is the number of people who’ve read that I don’t give a rats ass about “that old bloke what died” but still sent on of the abovementioned types of email = 0 (I’m presuming, or they wouldn’t have sent me the email)
Z will be the number of people I know that read this blog.

giving:
        50 x 0 = 0

Well, it’s either that or they’re just trying to piss me off, or incite some kind of office email rage incident (which isn’t as bad as it sounds, as all I do is HUFFFF loud enough for a few people to hear, yank my earphones out letting them drop to the desk, and then stomp off to make a cup of coffee).

I’m serious, if I see another email resembling “Pope Idol” or “Car for Sale” featuring the Popemobile I WILL throw a hissy fit!!

And yes I’m sure the mathematicians amongst you will be able to find flaw with my “equation”. Let me remind you that I write for a living, I don’t DO numbers*. I’ll corret your speling, you can correct my englich.

* that sentence is gonna back-fire on me in sooooo many ways.

bookmark_borderIncitement

Posted on

We were driving through to the in-laws caravan on Sunday, along the A811 which is a typical windy country road when, as we approached a blind bend, some idiot in a red Honda Civic decided to zoom up behind me and overtake, causing me to brake to let him back in – lest he be left in the wrong side of the road as, say a large tractor came round the corner and ran over his silly little car. I spotted him starting this maneouver (in some disbelief from both Louise and I given the short distances involved) and voiced my displeasure with an elongated blast of the horn as he zipped past me and narrowly missed the nose of our car.

Of course he took great umbrage about this, slowed down and made a sign that looked like he was auditioning for those old Nescafe adverts, you know, the ones where they put the coffee beans in their hand and shake them. Or he was trying to signal that I was wanker, I’m not entirely sure. I laughed it off. As we drove on, with him “stuck” in front of me, we ended up stopping at some lights. I could see him staring at me in his rearview mirror, and he started with the hand gestures again. All very boring but I felt he’d made his point so I gave him the “hands out shrug” to indicate that he could stop this nonsense any time he liked. I shook my head a little as I did this.

Seemingly this further incensed him, as he spent the next mile or so alternating between braking suddenly and those coffee bean hand gestures. Most tiresome and it was quite obvious that this was a young lad in a high powered car (it was a sports edition) who fancied himself as a BMW driver or something. Yawn.

As we approached our turnoff, I flicked on the indicator. Lo and behold he suddenly turns in, very aggressively, where I was indicating to go. Bugger that, I think (I’m no fighter I don’t mind admitting it) and I flick the indicator off and keep driving. This caused some mirth in our car. We round the next corner and are brought up short by some roadworks. I look into my rearview mirror and round the corner, behind the two cars sitting behind me, comes the little red Honda. Slamming on the brakes he screeches to a halt. Oh dear. I’ve made him angry.

The lights at the roadworks change and I’m now trying to figure out where I can turn around as, frankly, this is very boring. Next thing I know a red blur whizzes up behind us. Now I’M beginning to get hacked off. However he holds his ground, I don’t get any more gestures and as we turn in towards Drymen he flies off up the road out of sight. We turn round and head to the caravan in peace.

Rather than pondering on what could have happened, we decide to laugh it off, especially the inspired “fake turning” manoeuver which I’ll have to remember for the future (I also wonder if he has conceded that I’ve tricked him fair and square and that he was being a bit of an asshole.. but I seriously doubt that).

As for the silly little man in the red Honda, I hope he wraps his silly little car around a very large tree, although I will feel some sympathy for the tree involved.

bookmark_borderSidebar

Posted on

Firefox question – Anyone know how to display a webpage in the sidebar?

Lyle asks “Huh?” so let me expand on this.

In Firefox, if you select View > Sidebar, you can open various useful things like your bookmarks, or your browser history (where did all that p*rn come from!!). I want to know if there is anyway (manually, Firefox extension, add-on program) to display a webpage there. I’ve tried dragging a URL or shortcut to no avail.

Why? Because it will make editing the HaloScan Wiki much easier, as I’m constantly switching back and forth from the Recent Changes page. If I could have that page in my sidebar… see? There IS a good reason!

UPDATE

Problem solved! With thanks to the venerable diamond geezer who points out that to display a web page in the sidebar you need to:

Find Manage Bookmarks in the Bookmarks menu.
Right-click on any web page and select Properties.
Then tick the box that’s labelled, unbelievably, Load this bookmark in the sidebar.

I post this here to preserve this piece of knowledge. Thank you dg, you’ve just made my life much MUCH easier.

bookmark_borderCrossed

Posted on

The Spoil Your Vote website is hoping to appeal to the non-voter:

At the 2005 General election, we want all those people who think their votes don’t count to get out and spoil their votes.

A mass movement of spoiled votes will broadcast a new message: the choices on offer are just not good enough. We demand something better – a different way of doing things.

They seem to be suggesting that it’s antipathy that is stopping people from voting, rather than just sheer-assed laziness wrongly labelled as apathy. You see that’s what bugs me the most. I’m quite happy for people to spoil their vote because they understand the policies proffered by their politicians (ooooh alliteration.. and it’s only Monday!) and can’t bring themselves to vote for any of them, but there is a danger that this idea will be used by those too lazy to be bothered to find out such things. The danger is, of course, once the election is over and these self same people will declare that they have a voice because they voted!

I am not apathetic when it comes to politics. Sure it may bore me on occasion, I may rant and rail at the ways and habits of the politicians, I may moan about the campaigning tactics but those actions confirm that apathy is not part of my political makeup (now ask me about THAT wedding at the weekend, or that old bloke who died last week and I’ll confirm my complete and utter apathy on those subjects is intact and unswerving in it’s motive).

Voting is more than scratching your mark on a piece of paper, it’s more than trying to get parked in the local school playground, it’s more than the slightly, oddly, nervous wait whilst the clerk checks that you exist and that yes, you ARE entitled to vote (is it just me?), it’s about participating and having the knowledge to make a reasoned decision.

By all means spoil your vote, but please don’t use it as an excuse. If you really ARE apathetic (although you shouldn’t be) then don’t vote, but remember that by doing so you are abdicating your part in the running of the country so no complaining when it gets a bit shit.

UPDATE: I’m not going to blogging much, if any, more on the election. I do follow politics but find the election campaigning particularly jarring – so many lies.

Instead I’ll point you to this post which has just about all the UK election links you’ll need.

bookmark_borderWeekender

Posted on

Survived Saturday. Was a great day, good company, good beer and the Grand National even offered some excitement. Jinty McGintys is a great pub and we made a few new friends – but seeing as we were taking up about a third of the pub some people didn’t have much choice! Anyway, Happy Birthday to Paul, and cheers for a great day out.

Today we were through at the in-laws caravan. Aired it, dusted it, and I dismantled a rotting old fence that had fallen down over the winter. We then went for a walk along the loch side and, what with all that fresh air, I’m completely knackered!

Bed time it is then.