Sometimes I loathe our TV, despite paying for the “all the channels, yes even the poker ones” some nights there is just NOTHING ON! Quite frankly it’s ridiculous and it’s all that Murdoch’s fault, sometimes I wish I wasn’t addicted to Sky+…
Mind you at other times it offers day long TV marathons and next thing you know you have to lever yourself up from the sofa (always a slightly painful experience when bare skin has been in close proximity to a leather couch for nine hours) and you are wondering why it’s gone dark. Of course, they never EVER broadcast day long marathons of good TV shows, no no, if you are going to spend all day in front of the TV it’ll be brain-numbingly awful stuff that you’ll be watching.
Ohh yes, it will.
Don’t deny it.
So, what programmes yield such power over me? Well in an effort to clear my soul of some of it’s burden (I’d like it to be nice and trim for when I get sent to hell) here is a short sampling of my guilty TV pleasures:
- Extreme Makeover: Home Edition – An American house DIY/design show where they, sometimes, knock the house down and build a new one. It’s all done for “needy” families and is a mixture of OTT Americanisms and heart-wrenching stories. If you have a soul you’ll have tears in your eyes at the end of every show, if you don’t it’s worth it just to see what they put in the houses.
- The Best – the only made a couple of series of this but we still enjoy watching it. Three chefs, well two chefs and a cute food scientist, cook a meal based on a given theme which are then judged by three members of the public in secret. A running score is kept through the series and the banter between the chefs is half the fun.
- U.F.C. – late night on Bravo, amongst the titillation and … er… whatever else they do, is the Ultimate Fighting Championship. In the same vein as boxing I’ve always believed that if that’s what these guys want to do, and it’s as safe as it can be then why not? Often bloody, always exciting, but I wonder if it’s just the shock factor that drags me back?
- Friends – yes. That’s right. We still watch repeats (re-runs for my American reader) of Friends. They are simple, easy to watch and light-heartedly funny.
They are the most common culprits the ones I’ll happily embrace along with my dressing gown, a jumbo bag of minstrels, a mixed selection of (generic supermarket brand) crisps, and copious cups of coffee (surely the reason advert breaks were invented). Couple them with a very laisse faire attitude to personal hygiene for the day, and I’m in TV heaven.
It’s so bad that I only allow myself one of these days every two or three years lest my brain rebel and force me to stab myself in each eye with a blunt spoon, for if there’s something guaranteed to make me want to stop watching TV it’s a sharp pain to the eyes inflicted by a rounded metal eating implement (but each to their own of course).
Now, it’s over to you dear reader, time to fess up! What’s your guilty TV secret? What’s your ideal “TV loafing day”? Share your techniques and let all of us slobs benefit.
Ohh and I’ll pre-empt the wisecracks about “nekkid ladeez” or any reference to Jude Law naked, daytime TV only guys and gals!