Who is Tango?

I’ve never really had a nickname. My name doesn’t really lend itself to one, and I guess nor does my character. So why Tango?

Well, believe it or not, I’m actually a trained ballroom dancer. I took years of lessons and specialised in latin dancing, specifically the tango. There’s something about the passion, almost lust, of a good tango that just gripped me, and I’ve spent many hours honing my skills in that particular area. Unfortunately the last time I sprained my ankle (which didn’t actually happen whilst playing football) I damaged the ligaments so badly that I probably won’t be able to dance the tango again. Still it was a good holiday that one, I’ve never seen the city so vibrant and alive as that night we danced our last tango, in Paris.


Remember “You’ve been Tango’d!” and that fat orange bloke that did the ear drum rupturing slap? That was me. My fifteen minutes of fame. I was gutted when they pulled the advert though, all those kids copying me, bleeding earholes the length and breadth of the country, my finest hour! Still, I guess I should be proud as it’s one of those ‘cultural moments’ which everyone seems to remember.


As a child I spent hours and hours doodling cars. As I grew and my artistic skills developed I started designing them, drawing multi-angle sketches, and came up with some pretty good ideas (little know fact: I helped co-develop airbags after my initial sketch was found at a friends house by his Dad who worked, at the time, for Rolls Royce). As I got older I started considering the impact cars have, and how they could be improved, what was the ultimate car design? Could a blend between efficiency, performance and style be achieved? I came up with the idea of narrow, electrically powered, car with space for two people one in front of the other. I called it the “Tango” (it takes two to..) and sold the idea to the newly founded Commuter Cars Corporation.


I saved the ringpulls from 5 cans of orange Tango, sent them away and received Tango man in the post. He sits on my desk at work and the first time we played Halflife I was looking for a nickname in the game, spotted him and.. well it just kinda stuck.

Do/did you have a nickname? You did? Do tell.