Surviving Marriage

(well mine anyway)

The trick is, guys, to have an understanding wife. One who texts you to tell you about Shell’s leaving outfit (hubba hubba) and one who, when you tell her that, in the midst of copious amounts of alcohol, you’ve managed to end up with bright pink nail varnish on one hand, replies by calling you a great big gaylord.

Now, do I remove the nail varnish, or paint the nails on my other hand?