Month: <span>February 2001</span>

Why am I sat here?

Just finished some work, and just realised that I am still sitting here, aimlessly surfing. I should really be doing something else.

Just finished Timeline by Michael Crichton. Clever thriller, don’t think he was particularly stretched writing it though, and all the time I’m thinking… Yeah this would make a good film, hell the ending even gives plenty of room for sequels/prequels etc.

Also just realised that the question should be, why am I working at 9:45 p.m. on a Sunday night.

I’ve been in a pretty foul mood the last few days, it’s faded over the weekend, but as it’s work related then I’m expecting it to return tomorrow. Hopefully not, who knows. Why am I narked? Well, difficult to say, and it’s all stuff I shouldn’t be getting to me, but..well I think it’s a case of things building up and up, with no change or resolution in sight and it just comes down to how long I’m willing to put up with them. I’m not in a position to change those things, and really have only one choice to make.

I wish it would stop snowing, I wish Scotland hadn’t lost to France, I wish…. (hey Skee-Lo – wassup!).

And finally, six, thanks.

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Confused – yesterday all I got was Seems I jumped the gun a little, especially after reading EVHEAD!: Essay. Man I shouldn’t react so fast.

Maybe that’s the problem I am suffering with at the moment, maybe I should be more grateful for what I have, recent news from a friend makes me think otherwise though. Why should I put up with it? Is it just me? Just my perception of what is happening? Am I that wrong? I often wonder if it is my expectations that should change, but as I’ve discussed with this with different people I realise that is not the case. Those conversations highlight one thing, I’m not the only person who feels like this. Question: should I stand up for what I think? Do I go against the grain and risk being ‘black-marked’? Do I care if that happens? My entire attitude has changed over the last year or so, expectations raised have fallen hard, so I suppose it depends on how many times I can pick myself up.

There is another question concerning who is raising the expectations and I am aware that it is largely my doing, but that is human nature, something that needs to be taken account of, and which, at the moment, is being neglected.

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