Month: September 2000

Flirting is fun. Hell, I don’t need to tell you that! But why do we do it? I’m very happily married (I love her), so why do I flirt?

Initial thoughts of those who have not adopted the flirting doctrine (if it moves, flirt with it) is to try and categorise flirters by saying “You’re actually cheating on your partner, not physical, but mentally”…eh…Excuse me? Admittedly men are worse than women when it comes to ‘looking’, as in we make it more obvious, but both sexes do it, committed or not, and that is not flirting, that’s looking/gawking/staring (delete as applicable).

The reason I flirt is because it can be fun. It is important to note here that it is only fun if both parties are comfortable, and realise that flirting goes no further than the suggestive. Where does the fun come from? I’ll fully admit that it comes from the excitement of something illicit, the sense that you are starting down a path you shouldn’t be taking. Flirting is naughty.

It is a strange thing, comparable to outdoor sex, for want of a better comparison. There is nothing wrong or bad about the activity, but it still feels naughty, and that’s where the fun is. It may be an odd description, but I suppose flirting is a kind of rebellion, of doing the wrong thing. The beauty of flirting (bearing in mind the above note) is that, unlike other illicit activities, you can’t get caught. There is no end consequence, nothing happens. The day finishes, and the flirting stops, with no harm inflicted, no blame to be laid, and no guilt of having done the wrong thing.

Admittedly the above wouldn’t ring as true if my relationship with Louise wasn’t as strong as it is, and obviously flirting is not a sole occupation, but at the right time, in the right place, with the right people, it can be damn good fun.

Addendum:
Since writing this, and re-reading it a few days later (before I published it for your greedy eyes), I’ve had a nagging feeling that the tone wasn’t quite right. I was going to re-edit it, but decided to leave the original intact, and try and clarify a few points here.

I do not flirt with everyone. You can’t as you run the risk of offending. Flirting should only be done with those who realise what is going on. It is possibly to take flirting too far, blatant flirting at the exclusion of others it not to be condoned. Flirting should be subtle affair (although this does depend on the people involved), and should not affect anyone else, only those directly involved.

To clarify, flirting is not a precursor to sex, it is mischievous, suggestive fun, the end goal is fun, not the exchange of bodily fluids.

OK, serious bit over.

And for the record, when she wants, Louise can out-flirt me without even trying!