bookmark_borderWorld Cup of *Yawn*

It must be a false memory.

Like that one where I’m still convinced that, when I was about 6, I used a toy phone to speak to my cousins in Dundee. I am still sure, to this day, that I did speak to them despite all evidence to the contrary. I’m nothing if not stubborn.

So it’s with an expression of perplexity that I sit night after night and watch the World Cup (of Football, in case you were confused). I hear the vulva horn thingies buzzing away and can see the pitch, the ball, the referee and the players. Every possible moment has a mention of England in one form or another, and there are liberal doses of casual xenophobia left, right and centre.

It’s definitely a World Cup.

But by GOD it’s boring. It wasn’t always this boring, I know it wasn’t. I got to watch ALL (every single game) of Mexico ’86 as I was off school with chickenpox. I kept my own notebook of scores, laboriously coloured in each flag and the mascot was painstakingly recreated on the cover. The football was fun, goals were score, crowds cheered, commentators fumbled over foreign names and got over excited every time one of those new fangled Mexican Wave things started.

It was exciting, entertaining, and engrossing.

Fast forward to South Africa 2010 and… what has happened? Dull, boring and I’ve even turned off a couple of the games through sheer disinterest.

It wasn’t always like this, was it?

bookmark_borderAnd then… nothing

All quiet on the house front unfortunately.

But I have been able to crack on with some website work and as always it’s great when the client is accomodating, helpful and all round just a nice guy. Say hi to www.davidbelbin.com (then go buy one of his books!).

I’m also adding some functionality for a previous client, so I’ve got plenty to keep me busy AND I’ve found time to gently kick start my reading habit. Tackling the last of the Larsson trilogy which is a fun read in a Dan Brown kinda way. Mind you, I did read half of From Russia With Love before realising I’d already read it, oops.

The only other moment of excitement has been paying £4 for the privilege of receiving 4 rather shady looking photos of my fizzog. I need to renew my driving license and, amazingly, the photos actually look like me! (and no, I’m not showing you them).

Right, time to mark off another day in the “Hurry up I want an iPhone 4!” calendar.

Oh yeah, and football. World Cup and all that. If you need me, I’ll be in front of the TV.

bookmark_borderSign reads: Occupied

Gosh the football is good, isn’t it. Way better than a World Cup, not as long winded as an entire season and, a few games aside (I’m looking at you France), bloody top quality entertainment.

Apparently there are other things that can be watched on TV at the moment but, seriously, why would you? In saying that there is still plenty of other things currently vying for my attentions.

Friday night we are out for a quiet dinner to lightly celebrate Louise’s birthday.

Saturday morning we’ve both got appointments to see the dental hygienist (the price of paying for your dental care) and then we are off to visit Peggy. Except we aren’t REALLY visiting Peggy, we are all about the ickle fwuffy ducklings!!

Sunday is Louise’s birthday proper and no doubt some people will be popping in to tell her how old she now is and that it’s “all downhill from here”.

Zip through the next week (although there are a few changes happening at work just now, plenty of gossip and rumour, which is always fun) and on Friday I’ll be one of many thousands standing about at Glasgow Green in glorious sunshine listening to the best band in the world (well, they will be that day), and after the Radiohead gig, if I can still walk, I’ll catch up with some people from work to say goodbye to two work colleagues that are leaving.

There are a couple of things occupying my mind at the moment though, namely the fact that our Sky+ box failed to record a few things last week. And by a few games I mean the 4-1 game between Holland and France! It should be fixed now (turn it off and turn it on again) but I swear to god if I miss any more football I’ll… I’LL… well I’ll probably just phone up and order a new Sky HD box.

bookmark_borderWeekender

Friday evening. Beer, pizza and the opening game of the World Cup.

Saturday morning, a quick trip into Hamilton in the morning then off to Ashton Lane in the afternoon. Of the two beer gardens we chose the wrong one, completely and utterly chock-a-block. Still, it’s nice to have a cold beer (Budvar) or five whilst enjoying the sun. Tapas for dinner – with a heavenly chorizo and black pudding dish – and then a few more shandies before we headed home.

Throughout the day I had the occasional glass of water, and had applied some suntan lotion before we had gone out so I was neither hungover nor bright pink! Phew.

Sunday has been a day of lethargy, aside from washing the car and the odd spot of tidying up it’s been Formula One and footie all day.

And the best part of the weekend? Tomorrow, cos I’ve got the day off!!

bookmark_borderWorld Cup Rules

Finally, it’s here!

Now, before I start, I’ll point anyone not interested in this to head over to ScaryDuck’s place.

The World Cup kicks off today and with that in mind I thought it would be good to make sure we are all aligned and in agreement with some basic rules during this busy period.

So, and this is specifically for the (non-footballing) ladies, may I suggest you read, digest and ensure you understand the following rules:

Rule 1: From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

Rule 2: During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

Rule 3: If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won’t have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

Rule 4: During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor. It. Will. Not. Happen.

Rule 5: It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

Rule 6: Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, its only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break up or divorce.

Rule 7: You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.

Rule 8: The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

Rule 9: Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

Rule 10: But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash. Yes “we”. You will be taken along only to make sure HIS partner is obeying these rules.

Rule 11: The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this… why don’t you change the channel to something we can both watch??” as the reply will be: “Refer to Rule #2 of the list”.

Rule 12: And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

All clear? Good.

Ohh and don’t blame me, I got this from him.

bookmark_borderNot here

In a pattern that may well be repeated in the following few days, I’m not here.

I’m outside. In the sun. Frying to a crisp… where DID we put those bottles of sun cream from last year? And why oh why oh why can I never ever ever mention sun cream without thinking about Sunscreem?

Anyway, I’ve got plans for Friday evening, Saturday afternoon/evening/wee small hours of the morning, and most of Sunday (the hangover bit after Saturday) so I’m gonna get out into the sun whilst it’s here.

And you know what’s even more annoying about today in particular? The fact that I’ve been working at home and my wireless connection decide to die on me!! I’ve been stuck inside all flippin’ day.. rubbish.

Mind you, I’m back in the office tomorrow and Friday, sitting inside our air-conditioned office, gazing at the buildings as the sun bounces around the windows… meh. Not that it’ll be cool in our office, as our air-conditioning seems to be, like the heaters on the train, incapable of either being turned off or being switched to cool air.

Still, roll on Friday. We’re having a World Cup day in the office, beer pizza and the opening ceremony and games.. which reminds me. I must dig out my France top.