Remember yourself

Poly Means Many: There are many aspects of polyamory. Each month, the PMM bloggers will write about their views on one of them. Links to all posts can be found at polymeansmany.com Let me start with a simple premise: Relationships are a compromise, and those compromises are made to find balance to make sure everyone is as happy as they can be. Compromises are made on all sides and over time they even out. Of course, in poly relationships there is more than one person to consider when it comes to compromise and that can mean there is a risk that you, with the best intentions, start over-compromising in favour of your partners. Whilst this may be driven by the …

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FOMO

Poly Means Many: There are many aspects of polyamory. Each month, the PMM bloggers will write about their views on one of them.  Links to all posts can be found at polymeansmany.com What is happening with them? Are they having fun? Why am I home alone? What’s the point of having more than one partner if I’m still alone? Are they having a better time than we do? Is he more fun? Is she more entertaining? A lot of the thoughts and emotions I have around polyamory are still being filed under ‘new stuff’. I do spend a fair amount of my free time wondering: What are this? However, this area seems to have caught me out a little bit. …

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Over Communicating

Written in response to the monthly theme on Poly Means Many: Communication Many articles around open/poly relationships discuss communication and rightly so as it’s the key foundation for all good relationships, regardless of type. However, it’s not something I’ve always been the best at; add my own shortcomings to a poly relationship, and those flaws get amplified. Obviously there are differences between the communication between two people and the communication required between four as we all have different personalities and naturally differing ways of communicating. My own style of listening, the phrases I use, the presumptions I have in my head, all suit me, but for others in the relationship they won’t be quite right. I’m aware of this, as are …

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Pondering Poly

On Facebook, I am listed as being in an ‘Open Relationship’ with Kirsty. It’s something we are still figuring out, and it may change in the future. I’ve had some brief conversations with friends and family but really, what does it mean? Ultimately, that’s a question I can’t yet answer and, knowing that relationships evolve I’m not sure I ever will. However, I’m lucky enough to know some people involved in a polyamorous relationship and they, and other people in similar circumstances, are writing some fascinating posts. The series is called Poly Means Many (http://www.polymeansmany.com/) and is picking apart the misconceptions and misunderstandings around what these relationships are about. Since my divorce, the whole concept of what a relationship means …

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Where I am at

I cannot believe I’ve not written about my trip to Singapore! And I’m not going to, as I’ve yet to post my photos to Flickr so I’ll wait until I’ve done that. That said, I’ve been busy since I got back, spending a few days in Newcastle at a conference, and the rest of the time trying not to be ill (and failing). So it’s only really the past couple of days I’ve finally felt back to my usual self and started to get things back on track. It feels a bit odd, as I approach my 39th year on this planet, that I’m still ‘finding’ myself (and that sounds a bit new age wank but it is what it …

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